Lead us not into temptation
by kale.1987
Summary: *EDITING* Some things you should never really do in good conscience, one of them being not to try and seduce a priest, especially a married one. Too bad Bella isn't really one for following the rules. And as it turn's out, neither is Carlisle. C/B Fic
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer; I do not own any of the characters in the story - regardless of how much I want to…especially Carlisle

Lead us *not* into temptation

Temptation - Something that tempts, entices or allures

Chapter 1 : A bit about me

My mother always told me that I was going to go to hell, the thing was I never believed her… well not until right this second anyway.

I bet you're wondering what's so special about this second and why I've suddenly decided I'm damned - well this is the second I realized that I've fallen in love with Carlisle Cullen and that I will do anything to have him - even if he is a married man, and the pastor of our local church.

I think It's best we start at the beginning and then go from there. My name is Bella Swan and I am the only child of Renee and Charlie Swan.

I would like to say that I'd had a fair childhood and that I knew that everything in life wouldn't always go my way and that I would be fine with that - but it's not true. The problem being an only child is that you're parents often try to over compensate for that by giving you what you want, when you want it and that doesn't really teach you to play fair.

Then add to that you're parent's bad marriage and their constant need to outdo each other and you know that you're in trouble.

It was the summer before my senior year in high school when Carlisle Cullen and his wife Esme moved to our little town of Forks. I was 17, pretty, innocent and yet totally spoiled - and the only thing I could think of after we met was how could he possibly not want me?


	2. Chapter 2 : Meetings

Disclaimer; I do not own any of the characters in the story, they all belong to S.M

Chapter 2: Meetings

The day I met Carlisle Cullen for the first time started out like so many others had done before; Get up, have breakfast, listen to Mom and Charlie argue, accuse them of neglect, call Alice and end up going shopping.

Sometimes I didn't know why I bothered with the whole shopping thing - but it kept Alice happy and gave me something to do - so why not. Anyway I was just getting back from one of those said shopping trips… well walking up our drive to be exact and carrying at least six shopping bags when I noticed a strange car parked in the drive. 'Huh I wonder who go a new car?' Anyway I had almost made it to the front door when I tripped over god knows what (believe me it doesn't take much) and fell bags and face first onto the drive.

"Ouch" I said, followed by "Jesus Christ, why the hell do I have to be so god dam clumsy" as the front door opened - great a witness to my humiliation.

"Well to be honest I don't really think Jesus Christ had a lot to do with hell" said a rather pleasant sounding voice.

"Yeh? Well he does in my world" I snarled as feet I didn't recognize walked in front of my face.

"Well then, your world must be an interesting one" replied the pleasant voice as a hand reached down to pull me up. "Are you going to let me help you up?" said the voice.

"I don't think so no, If you don't mind, I think I'll just lie here until dinner - it's so comfy" I said looking up to glare at the offending hand owner only to wish to god that I'd kept my mouth shut from the second I fell over …. And then feeling somewhat grateful I was already on the ground, because to be honest If I wasn't before then I definitely would be now.

Standing above me was probably, no scratch that I mean definitely the most attractive man I'd ever laid eyes on. He was tall - around 6ft, with slicked back blond hair, pale skin and classically gorgeous facial features.

"So are you going to let me help you up?" he repeated.

"Uh, sure… I mean yes, please" I grasped the offered hand and allowed him to pull me up.

"There, that's better isn't it" he said bending down to pick up my crumpled bags while I enjoyed the view.

When he was done he started to stand back up - quick, must check for drool I thought while running my hand over my mouth - phew - I'm good. "There you go" he said as he held my bags out. I reached out to take the bags from him and I felt my fingers graze his, and then nearly dropped them again. "Careful" he said while steadying me, but I was too busy staring at my hand to notice.

My skin, where we touched felt like static. "Are you ok?" he asked.

"Sorry" I said shaking my head - as if it would help things make sense. "I'm Fine, we haven't met have we?" knowing fine well we haven't - after all, how could I forget such a face. "I'm Bella Swan and you are?"

He flashed me a smile "I'm Carlisle Cullen" and it was then for the first time I noticed what was sticking out from under his sweater - he was wearing a collar and not just any collar. "I'm the new pastor at All Saints" he said as he reached up to run a hand through his hair. And that's when I noticed the other thing - he was married. Well I'll be damned I thought. I want to do bad things with a priest and a married on at that.


	3. Chapter 3: A conversation and an ass

Disclaimer; Sorry guy's I don't own Twilight and not making any money from this story… so basically I'm broke.

Chapter 3: A conversation and an ass

"I'm the new pastor at All Saints" he said as he reached up to run a hand through his hair. And that's when I noticed the other thing - he was married. Well I will be damned I thought, I want to do bad things with a priest and a married on at that.

I mentally shook myself "Well it's nice to meet you Mr Cullen, I hope things have been okay for you so far" I said while thinking I'm such a suck up.

"Thank you Bella, and It's nice to meet you too - I must say I have been lucky because everyone's been so welcoming" he said.

Well I thought, that's probably because you have a great ass - that and you're face isn't too bad either… who am I kidding, the face is just as good as the ass maybe even better because of those lips…

"Bella?" he said as I mentally shook myself again - gotta concentrate enough to stop zoning out otherwise he's gonna think I'm some sort of an idiot.

"Are you okay" Carlisle asked "You seemed to be somewhat distracted?"

"Me, I'm fine, just got a lot on my mind that's all" I said with a smile.

"Anyway, enough about me - were you off somewhere? It's just we've been standing here for a few minutes and I get the feeling you came outside for a reason" I said.

"Yes, that's right I did - I needed to get something out of the car" Carlisle said gesturing towards the Mercedes parked in the drive.

"Well in that case I'd better let you get on with that hadn't I?" I said turning towards the house with my shopping bags in hand.

I wonder I thought as I walked towards the house… would he look if I wiggled, should I wiggle? He is a priest and a married one… ah what the hell I thought with a grin, If you've got it flaunt it and with that I put a bit of an extra sway in my step to make my ass stand out that bit more.

'Ok Bella now just a quick glance behind you to see if he's looking, wouldn't want to give ourselves away now would we?'

As I approached the front door I casually turned my head to the left and glanced back to see if he was looking. He was… looking I mean and I think he knew I was playing it up a bit because at that minute he looked up and caught my eye, then he winked and turned towards his car.

OH MY GOD, that was so hot! married priest, hot, married priest, sooo hot and fun, MARRIED FUCKING PRIEST…. Ugh this isn't good - I'm arguing with myself again and that's never good. I think I need to call Alice.


	4. Chapter 4 : Meeting the competition

Disclaimer; Don't own….. But if I did imagine the possibilities ;-)

Chapter 4: Meeting the competition

I had planned to go up to my room to call Alice and tell her all about the gorgeous ass staring priest - but clearly that was not meant to be because as soon as I slammed the front door behind me I heard my Renee call "Bella is that you honey" and she used her company voice… the one that meant chew with your mouth closed, call me mom and don't swear otherwise it ain't looking good for you.

"Yes mom it's me" I said rolling my eyes. "Can you come in here please, there's someone I want you to meet" she said.

Ooh, does that mean I'm going to get another intro to fine piece of man meat from outside I wonder….and will he say we've already met after he's just ogled my ass? I wondered as I walked through into the living room after leaving my bags in the hall.

Sadly I was wrong on all counts I thought as I entered the room, I wasn't going to get another personal introduction to Carlisle, he wasn't going to say we hadn't met after he ogled my ass and he wasn't going to do it again because he wasn't there.

Sitting gracefully on the love seat with her legs crossed and drinking tea out of Renee's best china sat one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She had a heart shaped face, mid length russet colored hair and a smile that could so launch a thousand ships… God did I just think that - seriously, I think I need to cut down on the reading and the movies and actually get a life.

"Bella" my mother said "This is Esme Cullen; she's the new pastors wife". Oh my fucking god! That's Carlisle's wife! And here I was expecting some semi plain mother type - not a fashionable, gorgeous and young….. person - this is not good, how am I suppose to woo him over to the dark side (so to speak) when he's married to that!

You know when they say speak of the devil and he shall appear - well that is so true in this case. Here's me standing gaping like a fool at his pretty young wife and he's got to come waltzing into the room looking all fine and shit….. It's not fair.

"Bella" Renee said looking concerned. "Sorry, Hi Mrs Cullen, it's nice to meet you, as my mom's probably already told you I'm Bella" I told her smiling slightly while inwardly hoping that didn't look forced.

Apparently not because she gave me a bright smile in return and said "Hello Bella dear, it's very nice to meet you too, and please call me Esme - Mrs Cullen makes me sound so old." Yeh, we wouldn't want that now would we - so she's nice, pretty and young so basically I don't stand a chance.

"Are you girls getting acquainted while I was outside" said Carlisle coming up behind me. "Yes we were" Esme said and then added "Bella, this is Carlisle - my husband, Carlisle this is Bella - Renee's daughter we've been hearing all about."

"Yes, we met just before when I was outside" he said smiling at me as I turned to look at him.

Why's he just standing there? I wondered as Esme and Renee started talking again.

Okay, well he doesn't seem to be in a hurry to move. Should I just stand here or am I expected to join in the conversation?

As I pondered this I felt a hand brush the curve of my ass and watched, I'm not sure if it was shock or admiration as he wandered over to where Esme was sitting and joined her .

Shit, I don't fucking believe he actually did that. "Bella" Renee said. "Huh? yeh, what?" Jesus, talk about articulate.

"Are you going to come and join us?" Renee asked me.

"Sure" I told her as I made my way over to sit by her trying not to get too caught up in the butt grazing incident.

"So Bella" Carlisle said once I'd sat down "How does it feel to be in your final year of high school?"

I thought about it for a second "It feels good, like I get it now - that I can finally understand what its all been for" I told him.

"That's good" he said smiling at me again "Any idea on what you want to do after graduation?" he asked.

What is this. twenty questions? I'm nervous enough around you without you making it worse "I'm thinking of studying literature at college" I said.

"Good choice" he replied

"So Bella" Esme said, oh fantastic it's her turn to question me now is it? "Are there any boys at school you like the look of?"

Aww this conversation just keeps getting better I thought to myself. "Uh boys?" I asked "Erm, no ….. I'm not really into boys" I told her.

"Oh" she said looking surprised, and then I realized what it sounded like. "I'm not gay" I almost shouted at her, while sneaking a glance at Carlisle who looked like he wanted to laugh "Not that there's anything wrong with being gay" I added because there isn't "I'm just not into boys', their so immature and all they want is to get laid - I want more than that" I told her.

"Ah, I understand" she said with a wink.

God I hope not, for my sake I thought as I snuck another glance at Carlisle, who looked like he was having the time of his life. Then I turned to look at Renee - she's been way too quiet and she really doesn't do quiet very well - that is unless she's pissed and looking at the expression on her face - she really was.

Then again I couldn't really blame her because I had been acting pretty weird, then I give the new priest and his wife the idea that I'm gay and then talk about boys and getting laid - not good.

"Bella, don't you have things to do" Renee said with a look (i.e get out before you say anything more embarrassing than you already have) "Yeh mom, heaps - I'll get on it now, it was nice to meet you Esme, Mr Cullen and I'll look forward to seeing you again sometime" I told them whilst making my way out of the room thinking that I really, really needed to call Alice.


	5. Chapter 5: Operation dog collar?

Disclaimer; I don't own Twilight or Carlisle, no matter how much I wish I did - especially the latter.

Chapter 5: Operation dog collar?

I reached the hallway, walking past the shopping bags I had left scattered on the floor and ran up the stairs to my bedroom. I couldn't help but sigh in relief as I slammed the door shut behind me and then threw myself face down on the bed and let out a scream.

Oh my god, what a seriously messed up day. I can't decide what was worse - the fact that he was married or that he was a priest or maybe the fact that regardless of both I still really wanted him and he apparently wanted me. That did puzzle me a bit, not that I'm unattractive at all - because I'm not, it just seems weird that a hot man with a hot wife would find a high school senior attractive.

I let out a groan and decided that the only way I could make sense of this shit in my head was to call Alice - so I rolled over and grabbed my phone off my bedside table and punched in Alice's number and listened as it started to ring…

(_Alice_/Bella)

"_Hey babe, miss me already?"_

"Alice - do you think hell actually exists?"

"_Uh yeh… in any town that doesn't have a mall with at least 300 stores…Why?"_

"Because I am so gonna go to hell, and I might even end up likeing it" I said with a groan

"_Ok Bells, talk to Ally - you know you want to"_

"Well….you know when you eye fuck someone your not suppose to, then they eye fuck you back and their defiantly not suppose to, is it bad? Especially if you had that chance to do it all again you would…. Plus lots more?"

"_No, trust me - nothing can be bad if it feels that good, does it feel that good?_

"And more" I told her

"_So, who's the hottie?"_

"Carlisle Cullen"

"_As in father Carlisle Cullen?"_

"Yeh"

"_FUCK"_

"Yeh, how did you know about him - when I only just did like thirty minutes ago?"

"_My mom joined the parish council for brownie points remember, well she was going on about how hot the new priest was - I told her she was fucked up"_

"Aww thanks Alice - so I'm fucked up now? Thanks for the moral support bitch".

"_Aww Sweetie, you were eye fucking a priest and a married one at that - you don't have any morals" _she said laughing.

"Why the hell do I even talk to you?"

"_Because you love me, and besides girlfriend, you know I'm just fucking with you"_

"You're a peach Ally, really"

"_I know, So does this mean that we have a new project?"_

"Yes we do and we're gonna call it operation dog collar" I told her, which caused her to burst out laughing, real nice Ally thanks I thought.

"_Operation dog collar? Bella honey, you really need to cut out the movies and shit cuz it's gonna rot your brain" _

"Whatever Alice - So your place later?"

"_Yep, and I better get all there is to know about this mutual eye fucking you got going on, you hear me?"_

"Loud and clear…. Later"

"_Later"_

I disconnected the call and tossed the phone down on the bed. I felt better, it's amazing - If I could bottle what talking to Alice gives me I'd be a fucking millionaire I thought to myself.

I got up off the bed and gave myself a good stretch, time for a shower I think. I quickly stripped off my clothes and walked over to the dresser in the corner of my room and took out an oversized t shirt, which I put on over my head and headed out to take a shower in the bathroom that was opposite my room.

I had just opened my bedroom door and was half way across the corridor when I heard someone flush the toilet from inside the bathroom.

I stood there waiting for whoever was using the bathroom to hurry the fuck up out of there when the door opened and out came the one person I wasn't so sure it was a good idea for me to see when I was just wearing a t shirt.

Carlisle fucking Cullen in all his glory came waltzing out of my bathroom, crap I thought as I turned to dive back into my room before he could notice me but I only got a few steps before he said "Bella, just the person I wanted to see."

No such fucking luck I thought as I turned back to face him standing next to my door, disadvantage much - definitely.

"Really?" I asked. "Yes" he said coming closer to me, "I wanted to tell you something" and now he was in front of me and I practically stopped breathing.

"Tell me what" I squeaked. He gave me a lazy smile and took another step towards me so I was pressed between him and the wall then he lifted his hand and placed it on my shoulder.

Ok don't hyperventilate Bella, I told myself - I know he's fucking hot and you want him, but he doesn't need to know that yet.

I felt his hand slide over my collarbone and up towards my neck, he leaned his face down towards mine so the side of his face was touching mine when he whispered into my ear "When we were outside I told you to call me Carlisle, Bella and before when we were downstairs you called Mr Cullen." He paused and took a breath "Bad Bella" he said as his lips brushed against my ear. I couldn't help myself - I shivered, and he smiled - I could feel it on the side of my face. "Next time do as your told" he whispered as he pulled his head back and ran his lips over my cheek.

I'm not even sure If I was capable of speech right now all I could think of was how hot this was and how horny I was. He took a step back, dropped his hand from my neck and said "I'll see you around Isabella" and then walked towards the stairs.

I took a breath and then another one "I'll look forward to it Carlisle" I said. He turned, smiled and then walked down the stairs to re-join his wife and Renee leaving me to process what just happened.

I slumped against the wall, what did just happen?… .. Fuck I thought, I know what happened - I just got owned - and I think I liked it.

I really need that shower now, I remembered that I had to be at Alice's in an hour and we defiantly had some serious shit to talk about now. So I straitened up and walked across the hall and into the bathroom and shut the door behind me.


	6. Chapter 6 : Cock blocking

Disclaimer; I don't own it - so sad, but so true

Chapter 6; Cock blocking

"Carlisle" I groaned as he rubbed his hands up and down my back "Please" I whispered, the desperation obvious in my voice. "Please what" he said quietly as he bent his head and ran his nose along my jaw line and I shuddered slightly "Please what" he repeated before running his tongue along the bottom of my ear.

"Please touch me more" I gasped at him arching forward. He pressed the side of his face into mine seemingly trying to breath me in and I felt him smile and then I felt that smile turn into a smirk "How do you want me to touch you" he whispered against my ear and I felt his hands hover around the hem of my shirt.

"Everywhere, anywhere I don't care just touch me" I growled at him whilst breathing in his amazing smell. To me he smelled like spring, fresh and alive - I couldn't explain it, but at the same time I couldn't get enough of it either.

I felt his hands move underneath my shirt as he placed his hands on my hips. "What now" he asked me as he drew his head back so he could look at me.

"Move them" I told him, he began to move his hands slowly up my sides over the curves of my hips, to the sides of my ribs and stopping just short of my bra. I felt his hands gently brush over the fabric of my bra when he leaned in, his breath brushing over my face as he whispered to me "Is this what you want Isabella? Is this what you want me to do to you ? You want me to touch you like this? He said, his voice lowering even more before he whispered "Do you want me to fuck you like this?"

I felt as if my heart was in my mouth, I could hear it beating in my ears. "Yes, I want that - all of it" I told him. He smiled at me and lowered his head towards mine "Bella…..BELLA" huh what? "BELLA, are you still in the shower" Renee shouted from outside the door.

Great, fucking fabulous - talk about a mood killer. "Yes mom, I'm still in the shower - but I'm getting out now and then I'm going to Alice's" I told her.

I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me. Seriously, if I was horny before I'm fucking seriously so now! And it was probably one of the all time best fantasies I'd had - ever!

I let out a sigh as I walked out the bathroom and across to my room, looking around for Renee - or anyone else that happened to be around - hint hint. But there was no sign of anyone so I went into my room and closed the door behind me to get dressed.

Fifteen minutes later I was running out the front door for Alice's - after I had established the Cullen's (and by that I mean Carlisle because I certainly wasn't interested in eye fucking Esme) had left.

I got into my truck - which had been a seventeenth birthday present from Charlie and started the drive over to Alice's, which usually took about 15 minutes but today it seemed even less than that given I was busy thinking about things of the naughty sort.

I pulled my truck to a stop at the top of the drive and jumped out and made my way over into the house. I didn't bother to knock because that shit pisses Alice off.

I remember the only time I did and she chewed me out so bad with something along the lines of "You're my best friend Bella, why the fuck would you have to knock - that's what strangers and salesmen do and you're not either so don't fucking do it again"

I swear sometimes that girl is a freak - but she's right I love her I thought smiling to myself.

I ran up the stairs towards Alice's room and shoved open the door and shouted "Alice I just nearly had an orgasm in the shower thinking about a man I just met - I think I'm in more trouble than we first thought" and then I noticed that she was currently sitting on top of an almost naked Jasper Hale and wearing very little herself.

"Oh fuck" I said spinning around and walking back out of the room. I heard Jasper whisper something and Alice giggle and I knew my crap day was complete.

A few minutes later an awkward Jasper came shuffling out of Alice's room "Sorry about that Bella" he said as he made his way towards the stairs - and was gone in a flash.

"Alright cock blocker, you can come in now" Alice called. "Me" I yelled as I made my way back into her room, "How is this my fault - you knew that I was coming over, me on the other hand had no idea I was going to walk in on you and Jasper getting pelvic."

Alice smiled "Okay okay, I forgive you" she said. "You're a bitch" I told her. "Well" she said "By the sounds of it you're a tart, so that kind of makes us even."

She was right, we were "So what's this about you having dirty fantasies about a certain someone" Alice asked as I sat down on the bed beside her.

"God Alice, you know how I said it was good - well it got better" I said.

"Ok, well I really don't want to know what goes on in that bad mind of yours, so I'll just take your word for it ok" she said.

"No not that, although it was pretty amazing - I mean after I got off the phone with you, when I was going into the bathroom Carlisle came out of it… and we kinda had a bit of an altercation" I told her with a smirk.

"Well, it must of really been something for you to be using big words, so you'd better tell me all about it" she said, grinning.

So I told her about what happened from the second she dropped me off, to just before I left the house to come here and she wasn't disappointed.

"Fuck that is so hot - and for a guy who called you bad, Bella he seems worse and he likes it!" She said with a squeal.

I know, and just retelling it all made me realize just how much I'd enjoyed it - but also how potentially bad it was.

This had to be addressed "But what about his wife Alice?" I asked her.

She seemed to droop a bit at that "Yeh, I was thinking about that" she said slowly "Ignore it for the minute, I know that's not going to be easy but try - there might be a reason for him doing this. Until you find that out don't make any assumptions - hell maybe I'm wrong and he has a perfectly happy marriage and he's just an asshole, you never know".

I sat there for a few minutes digesting what she said and I had to agree with her. I couldn't decide on what to do until I had more information and until then I would make the most of it. "Thanks Ally, I don't know what I'd do without you" I told her.

"Simple" she said "you'd go and see a therapist and get ripped off and become even more bitter than you are now."

"Bitch" I replied.

"I know" she sang.

I couldn't help but laugh, I knew that as long as I had her I would be alright "So, things between you and Jasper hoting up are they?" I asked her wiggling eyebrows and she let out a giggle and we spent the rest of the night talking about everything but Carlisle Cullen and his wife, who in only a day had shook my word completely.


	7. Chapter 7: Fan fucking tastic

Disclaimer; I don't own it - I just think about it.

Chapter 7: Fan fucking tastic

It had been a over a week since the Carlisle incident and I had yet to see him again, and since we didn't go to church I wasn't likely to either.

As far as I could tell the new Cullen's were becoming very popular with everyone and according to Alice's mom church attendance had doubled in the last week alone. But I was determined that I didn't care and I would tell anyone who asked me that - except nobody had.

Usually me and Alice would of went over it together and bitched about all those stupid whores getting their knickers in a twist over a guy who probably (I hoped) wouldn't look at them twice, but she wasn't around much anymore. Her and Jasper seemed to be getting pretty serious, and I couldn't blame her for wanting to spend time with the guy because she loved him, I was sure of it. But that's why with only a week to go until school started I was lying on my bed bored shitless.

I'm not quite sure how long I had been lying here but I knew I was getting hungry so I thought it would be best to go downstairs and get something when my mother burst into my bedroom "Bella what are you doing still on that bed, and you're not even dressed for goodness sake" she said pointing at my pajamas.

"What's the big fuss mom, It's not like I have anything to do" I told her.

"Anything to do? Bella, the Cullen's are going to be here for dinner any minute and you're not even dressed" she said franticly. Cullen's….The Cullen's coming here for dinner - now?

"What the fuck?" I said shocked.

"Bella, language" Renee shouted.

"Mom, what the hell - since when are the Cullen's coming for dinner?" I shouted.

"Since last week, Esme rang and said how much her and Carlisle enjoyed themselves and could we do it again sometime, I thought I told you" she said.

"Well you thought wrong" I shouted.

"For god's sake Bella stop being dramatic, just get dresses and come down stairs" she said while walking out the room and leaving me to panic - talk about supportive parenting.

Oh my fucking god I thought as I sat hyperventilating on my bed, of all the shitty luck - their coming here to dinner. Fuck.

"Bella, you'd better be getting dressed" Renee shouted from outside my door, shit - what to wear I thought frantically.

I ran over to my dresser and ripped it open at the same time as trying to get undressed when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. "Bells, it's me"

Yeh I got that Charlie, thanks

"The Cullen's are here, so can you hurry it up a bit" he said.

Shit, shit, SHIT! "Yeh Dad, I'll be there in a minute" I told him as calmly as I could while grabbing the first thing I could out of my dresser and pulling it on.

"Okay, I'll see you down stairs" he said as he walked away while I scrambled around my room desperately trying to finish getting ready.

Two minutes later I was sure I was as ready as I could manage and without wanting to waste anymore time I flung open my bedroom door and headed downstairs without even bothering to check myself over in the mirror.

As I reached the bottom of the stairs I listened out for Charlie and Renee and decided that they must be in the living room so I made my way over and peeked in. Yep they were there, Charlie and Renee sitting on the sofa and Carlisle and Esme on the love seat.

I took my time looking over Carlisle - he looked good, actually no, correction he looked fucking fantastic - all glowey and shit but maybe that was the wine he was drinking because he certainly looked like he was enjoying it.

I watched him as he took another drink from his glass, the way he brought it to his lips, the way the muscles worked on his throat as he swallowed it and how he seemed to run his tongue over his lips to make the most of the taste.

I shivered, even though I hadn't seen him in over a week my reactions to him certainly hadn't changed. I couldn't afford to stand around staring for too long because the last thing I wanted was to be caught eye fucking Carlisle - I'm not sure that even I could talk myself out of that one, so I took a breath and composed myself, then I took a step into the room.

"Bella" Renee said turning to smile at me as I walked into the room and then that smile seemed to falter. What's wrong I thought, I'm wearing a dress you should be fucking grateful I thought to myself. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror that was hanging on the wall opposite me and the first thing I thought was fuck.

I thought I had put on the blue dress Renee had bought me, but I hadn't I'd put on the one Alice bought me instead. What's the difference between the two? Well Renee's dress would have been suitable to wear for this occasion… Alice's however was not because it was rather shorter and tighter and I knew right then that Renee was going to have my ass for this.

"Hello Bella, it's nice to see you again" Esme said.

"Its nice to see you too" I responded and I was serious - her and Carlisle were the only things stopping Renee killing me right now.

"I'm just going to check on dinner" Renee said "Are you going to help me Bella?" like hell I thought. You really think I'm stupid to be in a room alone with you right now? "Actually, I'm just going to stay here and keep Carlisle and Esme company" I told her.

She was about to reply when the phone rang, "I'll get it" Charlie said pulling himself up from the sofa and making his way into the hall.

I heard the kitchen door close and realized Renee must have given up and went to check on dinner, leaving me alone with Carlisle and Esme - awkward much?

"So Bella, are you looking forward to school next week" Esme asked me.

"Yes, It will be nice to see everyone again" I answered while sneaking a quick peek at Carlisle as I heard something drop in the kitchen.

I went find out what was happening - knowing Renee's past kitchen exploits, it would be interesting.

"Bella" Esme called, "Why don't you let me go and help Renee and you sit and talk to Carlisle - you two haven't really gotten to know each other yet."

Wanna bet? I thought…but then again could ass brushing be counted as getting to know? I wondered as she walked towards the kitchen.

And then it was just me and him, he gave me a smile "Come and sit down Bella" he said in that extra pleasant way of his.

So I made my way over to the sofa where Renee had been sitting when I heard the words "No Bella" in a firm tone. I turned and looked at Carlisle, "Next to me" he said in that same tone.

Okay I thought as I made my way over, not that I don't like the game here but I kinda need to know which one we're playing because it's starting to get a bit confusing.

I sat down and he smiled at me again "See that's better now isn't it" he said in a softer tone.

You know what, I am so not going to answer that because nothing I can say is going to be appropriate and fuck it, my parents are in the next room - I do have some standards, so instead I settled for smiling at him.

He looked like he was about to say something when Charlie walked in "Bells, I have to go to work - Tell Renee I'm sorry and I'll be back later" he then walked over to Carlisle, who stood up and they shook hands "It was nice to meet you Carlisle, I hope we can do this again some other time when I don't have to rush off."

"Of course Charlie, I look forward to it" Carlisle told him.

They both smiled "See you later Bells" he told me as he headed for the door.

"Bye dad" I shouted, while silently adding "Thanks for leaving me alone with the guy I wanna do bad things with, his wife and my unstable mother" and it's at that point Renee pokes her head out of the kitchen and shout's that dinners ready - fan fucking tastic!


	8. Chapter 8 : Main course : Indigestion

Disclaimer; Twilight doesn't belong to me, all the credit goes to S.M

Chapter 8 : Main course : Indigestion

We were all sitting around the dinner table making polite small talk, I thought Renee had taken Charlie's leaving before dinner rather well and everything seemed to be going to plan, except for one small thing - Carlisle had sat next to me.

I'm not sure, but I think it had been Renee's intention for Carlisle to sit beside Esme - and I think that had been Esme's idea as well - but no, he had sat down beside me muttering something about us getting to know each other.

Which if you ask me was bullshit because he hadn't said two words to me yet, the only thing he had done was brush his hand over my knee a couple of times - which really wasn't helping my concentration any.

Anyway here we all were Esme and Renee on one side of the table and me and Carlisle on the other, Renee had just asked Esme about her plans for the week and I had been about to join in when I felt something brush the underside of my knee.

I glanced at Carlisle who seemed to be rather absorbed in the conversation between the two women, so I reached down to remove his hand from behind my knee only to have my hand grasped tightly in his.

I shot him a pissed look, but he didn't even glance my way - instead he turned my hand over and began to rub my wrist in circular motions with his thumb.

I glanced at Renee and Esme, thankfully they were still caught up in their shit, so I tried to discreetly pull my hand from Carlisle's grip, but it wasn't working - the fucker had a grip like a vice.

He glanced at me, giving me a look as if to say stop it and do as your told, well I gave him a look back saying fuck you.

"I take it everybody's finished dinner" Renee said, I looked guiltily down at my half eaten food - what can I say, being fucked with really doesn't improve your appetite.

"Myself and Esme are gong into the kitchen to sort out dessert, you two talk amongst yourselves" and then the pair of them gathered up the plates and went into the kitchen.

I sat staring at the table "Is there something wrong Bella?" Carlisle asked - something wrong, is he delusional? Everything about this is wrong.

"Are you enjoying fucking with me" I asked him, and yes I just swore at a priest big fucking deal, he certainly wasn't acting like one.

"Fucking with you Bella?" he asked quietly, and I couldn't help getting a little thrill as he said those words, ugh I am so screwed.

"I am not as you put it, fucking with you Bella" fucking tingles again "I am merely playing a game, you know how to play games don't you?" he said quietly.

"And what happens If I don't want to play your games, what happens then?" I asked.

He let out a chuckle "Silly Bella, what makes you think you have a choice" he lifted his free hand and ran his knuckles lightly down the side of my face "You want me, just as I want you" he told me. I sat there taking this in, on one hand yes I did want him but on the other what we are doing is wrong and people were bound to get hurt.

I looked at him "I do want you" I told him, "But I'm not sure I want to play your games, tell the others I'm sorry but I'm not feeling well and I had to go to bed" and with that I shook my hand out from his and left the room to go to bed.


	9. Chapter 9: Dessert

Disclaimer; Twilight isn't owned by me

Chapter 9 : Dessert

I couldn't help it I was pissed, who the hell did he think he was, he obviously enjoyed fucking with people - that was obvious.

But then again that's probably the reason he became a priest - he gets off on the whole eternal damnation of your soul if you don't do what I say thing… issues much I thought bitterly as I threw the magazine I was trying to read across the room and sighed loudly.

I was just debating on whether or not I should try and call Alice, when there was a knock on my bedroom door "Come in" I called as I heard the door open and then close.

"Listen mom, I'm sorry I bailed on dinner" I said turning towards the door, only to find that it wasn't my mom at the door It was Carlisle.

"I think we need to have a little chat, don't you Bella?" he said.

"Excuse me, but I thought I made myself perfectly fucking clear when we were downstairs - I'm not playing your little games, so back off" I told him.

He smiled and walked towards me where I was sitting on the bed "But you like it" he said in that silky tone of his "Admit it Bella, you like it when I tell you what to do."

Fucker, okay I'll admit he had me there - I did like it, but not when he made me feel like I was some toy he could pick up and throw away when he was done.

"I understand you must be confused Bella, so I am going to clear a few things up for you - and I'll start with this thing with us, I didn't plan it but I'm not going to run away from it. My marriage with Esme is not up for discussion but I will tell you that it is over between us physically and has been for a long time."

I went to tell him to stop I didn't want to know these things but he gestured for me to wait. "No doubt you know about the local women and the impact I've had on them" he said and made little quotations on the word impact and I couldn't help but smile as he seemed to have them figured out already. He continued on "But I'm not interested, not in the slightest - you're the first person I have even considered something with in a long time."

Okay I'll admit that's nice and I told him so…..nice? Did I actually just say that, A hot guy telling me that I'm the first person in probably years that he's considered fucking and I say it's NICE! - fuck.

"Now Bella, I'm going to ask you again - do you want to play a game?" he asked.

I thought about what he had told me and what I wanted, I stood up slowly "That depends" I told him taking a step forward "What are the rules?"

He smiled and closed the distance between us, "There's only one rule really" he told me as he brushed the hair off my face and leaned down towards me.

"What's that then" I asked him. "Do as your told" he whispered and then placed his mouth in front of my own. "And if I agree, what then?" I whispered against his lips.

"Kiss me" he said.

So I did, I kissed him with everything I had because I wanted everything he had. I wanted his taste, I wanted his smell but most of all I wanted his touch - because right now I craved it.

I felt his tongue run along my lower lip seeking entrance and I complied. I felt his teeth tease my lip as I groaned into his mouth, I pushed my hands under his jacket and ran my hands up his back and pulled him closer, I felt his hips bump mine and he groaned slightly.

"Stop" he muttered against my lips, I did as I was told "You have no idea how much I've wanted to do that" he told me.

I smirked at him "I think I do" I replied.

He pulled away from me and I fought against the urge to drag him back. "I have to go, I think your mother will think I've fallen down the toilet" he said with a chuckle.

When will I see you again I thought - desperate much, definitely but he was like candy and I only wanted more.

He winked at me before he made his way over to the door and opened it and then turned to look at me "I'll see you tomorrow Bella" he said.

"Tomorrow?" I asked him.

"Yes tomorrow, I mentioned to your mother that I need someone to help doing bits and pieces at All Saints and she volunteered you - you don't mind do you? Because at the moment there's just me and now you if you agree" he said.

Me and him, alone, together! I really want to say fuck yeh! But that probably Isn't appropriate and I'm trying to be good now so I'll stick with "I'd love to."

"I knew you would" he said with a wink and then he left, closing the door behind him.

I stood there hyperventilating oh my god, oh my god! Breathe! I told myself - but I couldn't resist letting out a little squeal as I realised something; I might get to have dirty church sex with Carlisle after all!


	10. Chapter 10 : A fly, Satan and a Stalker

Disclaimer; Twilight belongs to S.M

A/N For all my lovely reviewers and your kind words - you keep me writing, without you I'd be bored and also to my bf - who loves this story, but can't be arsed to write me a review - lazy cow.

Chapter 10 : A fly, Satan and a Stalker in the ointment

I felt like I was going to combust, I feel the sweat running down my back as I pushed myself harder, I knew that If I kept this up that we'd get there soon enough and when we did I would throw a fucking party.

My back was killing me and I was just dying to have this over with, which is ironic as a few days ago I thought this was a dream come true… some fucking dream, nightmare more like.

I let out a groan "Hurry up, you're killing me here" I shouted.

"I'm coming, I'm coming" shouted a voice and I sighed in relief as the weight was suddenly lifted off me.

In front of me was the smiling face of Mike Newton - Christ give me back the bookcase I prayed (after all I was in a church - it might work, right?)

"Aren't you glad I was here to give you a hand Bella, you really shouldn't have tried to move that on your own" he told me.

"Yeh I'm ecstatic you're here with me Mike" you fucking stalker I thought as I walked off to go outside to get some fresh air.

I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath; I can't believe I had been stuck with this shit for three day's now.

I had arrived on Monday afternoon - all happy and shit because I'd thought I was gonna get me some Carlisle lovin, instead I got Esme - who told me what I needed to do and that she had found a nice lady to help me.

The nice lady in question? Helen Davies - who indecently was Mike Newton's grandmother, and she was not nice, she was fucking Satan and yet every afternoon when she arrived in a usual cloud of perfume and cigarette smoke I was surprised she didn't burst into flames, last time I checked the devil didn't go to church.

There's only so much shit I can take and if I heard another "Oh Bella, would you be a dear and do this for me" I was gonna go all Rambo on her ass. Just me, him and my ass - if only, I hadn't seen the fucker since Sunday - where the fuck was he? He's was a priest, Wasn't he suppose to be at church.

"Bella, can you come inside please" Mike told me as he stuck his head out the door. Seriously what happened to the term volunteer? And when did it switch meanings with slave. I pushed myself away from the wall and went back inside.

It was well after eight by the time I dragged my sorry ass home, I swear I'm beginning to think that everything that happened on Sunday was just some sort of a dream. Anyway after I grunted a hello to Renee and had some food I went upstairs and collapsed into bed. 

I thought about what Carlisle had told me about him and Esme and the fact that they didn't have a physical relationship - did that mean that they didn't love each other anymore? Or was there more to it than that? Was there a reason that they didn't have children, even though Esme clearly adored them?

I let out a sigh, so many fucking questions and I didn't have answers to any of them. I rolled over and pulled the blankets up to my chin and tried to get some sleep.

I'm not sure what time it was that Renee came banging on my door telling me I had to get up, but I did know that it was way too early to be getting my ass out of bed. I shouted back that I didn't care and I wasn't interested in getting up and had just snuggled back under my blankets when they were ripped off me.

I shot up in bed "What the fuck Mom?"

"Language Bella, I told you it's time for you to get up, you've got things to do today" Renee told me.

I looked at the clock and noticed that it was only 07.30 - this was just fucking cruel. "I don't care what you do to me, I'm not going back to that prison camp today, even if I have to weed the weird cat lady's garden across the street I will, just don't make me go back there" I pleaded with her.

She smiled at me "Well you're in luck because you're not going there today, Carlisle's downstairs and has to go out of town today to do some errands and he want's to know if you'll help him?"

I must of sat there looking stupid because Renee waved her hand in front of my face and asked for an answer "Yes, tell him yes" I said to her and motioned for her to get out - which she did thank god because I needed to get my shit into gear.

Ten minutes later I was making my way downstairs towards the sitting room wearing one of the few skirts I owned and trying to look like I hadn't just crawled out of bed.

"Hey Carlisle" I said as I entered the room "I hear you need my help again today."

He gave me a smile and stood up looking all fine and shit, today he was dressed more casually than I had seen him in before, he was wearing jeans and a t shirt and I couldn't help but feel a little overdressed.

"Should I change" I asked him. "No, you look fine" he assured me "Besides we have to be off."

"Where are we going?" I asked, although to be honest as long as it was just me and him I didn't really care.

"You'll find out soon enough" he said as he lead me towards the door. "See you later Mom" I called up the stairs as we headed out the front door and I closed it behind me with a bang.

We made our way over to the black Mercedes that was parked in the drive, I wondered how he could afford it because it looked pretty expensive and I don't think they pay priests that well - maybe he came from money, either that or Esme did - I made a mental not to ask him about it later as he unlocked the car and we got in.

We put on our seatbelts and he was about to start the engine when I told him "Don't think I've forgiven you by the way, this week had been absolute hell for me and I have a feeling you know it."

The car came to life with a quiet purr "I can imagine it has been, but don't worry" he said "I plan on making it up to you."

I grinned at him "Really and does any of that involve you getting on your knees and begging my forgiveness, because I'd be into that if it did."

He smirked at me and said "Maybe, if you're a good girl there might be some begging involved." Holey shit, I think my girly bits just twitched - because that sounded so hot - and I could tell that today was going to be one awesome day, then we were off.

A/N Ok people, you have every right to be mad at me because of the lack of dirty church sex and instead you get Mike Newton lol - but good things come to those who wait…. Or some shit like that. Anyway give me lots of nice reviews… otherwise there will be abstinence x


	11. Chapter 11: Are we there yet?

Disclaimer; I don't own Twilight

Chapter 11 : Are we there yet?

We had been in the car for nearly thirty minutes now and his hand had been on my knee for about twenty five of them when I decided to ask him something that had been wondering about. "Doesn't that distract you form other things" I said indicating to his hand on my leg "One of the first rules of driving, you use both hands." He glanced at me, then smiled and said "Don't worry, I'm very good at multitasking." I'll just bet you are, I thought.

Another few minutes had passed, I found that I didn't mind the silence - it was the comfortable sort and it was nice not to feel pressured about saying anything for a change. I was curious to where we were headed and why we were going there, a small part of my mind thought maybe he was going to take me somewhere…. A hotel or something, would he do that? More importantly was I ready for that?

As if he was reading my mind "Don't worry" he said smiling slightly "I'm not planning on taking you to a hotel or anything like that, after all if I was planning on killing you - I'd take you somewhere much more discreet."

Okaay, what the fuck I thought - that's some scary shit right there mister, and if you turn out to be an axe murderer or some shit like that it's probably way to late to start running now, so instead I settled for saying "You're a bit of a weird one aren't you."

He laughed loudly at this "Yes I probably am" he said "Anyway" he continued "To put you out of your suspense, we're going to Port Angeles - I need to pick up Esme's prescription and I thought we could spend some time together in the process, given that this week's plans have been a bit of a bust."

On the one hand I was flattered that he wanted to spend time with me but on the other I was seriously confused, why the hell were we going all the way to Port Angeles to get a prescription when there was a perfectly good pharmacy in Forks? "You are aware that there are perfectly good pharmacies in Forks aren't you?" I asked him.

"Yes I am" he said sighing "But Esme doesn't like me getting her prescriptions locally - she doesn't like people knowing she takes anti anxiety medication."

I was stunned "So let me get this strait, your wife makes you drive an hour and a half out of your way - just to pick up her medication because she doesn't want anyone else know she's not as perfect as she pretends to be?"

He glanced at me and said "Yes, that sounds about right."

I really couldn't help it, I laughed and then laughed some more.

"I'm glad my situation amuses you" he said, the annoyance evident in his tone.

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down "It's not that I find your situation funny, it's just that I never really pictured you as being someone's bitch Carlisle."

The hand that rested on my leg tightened considerably and the car swerved and came to an abrupt halt at the side of the road.

I looked across at Carlisle, startled by what had just happened - to find his face pressed up against mine "Let me make one thing perfectly clear Isabella" he said and I couldn't help but shiver at the dark tone of his voice "I am no one's bitch, do you understand?"

I nodded my head. "Good" he replied, then he tapped me on the nose with his finger, sat back and then started the engine again and pulled away from the side of the road.

Okay, what the fuck was that - I'm seriously thinking that someone has wifey issues here I thought to myself.

"How long until we get there" I asked him.

"About another 10 minutes" he said, thank god I thought - maybe once we get there things might actually get interesting because I was really starting to get tired of this shit.


	12. Chapter 12 : Through fields and flowers

Disclaimer; Not mine

A/N Thank you for your love people - it makes Bella and Carlisle happy ;-)

Chapter 12 : Through fields and flowers

Okay, I had to admit - this was pretty crap. I'd had this whole idea that this was going to be a fun trip out with plenty of other extras too. But so far? Fuck all, I had been sitting in the car for the past fifteen minutes waiting for Carlisle to hurry his ass up getting Esme's prescription.

What was up with that anyway? If she was so uptight about the whole pill thing then why couldn't she just bring her ass down here and get the damn things herself. Its kinda ironic though really - its always the people who seem to be perfect that are the most messed up.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the sound of the trunk closing, I looked over as Carlisle got in the car. "Right" he said putting his seatbelt on "Now that we have the boring stuff out of the way, we can get on with the rest of the day."

Okay what? I must of looked as confused as I felt because he grinned at me and said "You mean you thought I'd drag you all the way here just to get a prescription and then drop you back home again, where's the fun in that?" And then he winks at me and starts the car - he fucking winks! Fuck, talk about bipolar or what.

We had been going for about twenty minutes when he turned off onto a side road and pulled into a little parking lot. "A parking lot?" I asked, "I know that this is supposed to be sordid and all - but does it honestly have to be that cliché?"

He let out a loud laugh "Bella" he said "Shame on you, do you honestly think that I'm that dirty?"

I watched him as he was watching me "Hmmm" I said and then added "You do have your moments."

He let out another loud laugh "I suppose I do" he said…."In fact" he added "I might just have one now, as long as you don't object?" and he undid his seatbelt and turned towards me, taking my chin in his hand. "Do you object Isabella?" he asked me softly.

My head was spinning, on one hand he was unpredictable and a bit of a mystery and on the other - he was charming, sexy as hell and could make my body feel things I never thought it could - and we hadn't even had sex yet! Fuck I wanted this - every fucking bit of it and I'm guessing by the smirk that was forming on his lips he knew it too.

"Say it out loud" he told me

So I did "I want this" I told him

I felt his fingers tighten on my chin as he crashed his mouth against mine. I groaned at the contact, I felt his smile against my lips and his hands that were now on my back - drawing my body closer to his. He bit my lip gently as I ran my hands up the sides of his neck and into his hair. I felt his thumb graze my cheek as he broke the kiss and moved back a little. "Are you trying to take advantage of me Isabella?" he asked with a smile.

I gave him a pout "Well, I suppose it's my fault really" I said playfully, "I started thinking about what I said… and the whole sordid thing kinda got me turned on, and then you got all close and I just lost it" I finished in a breathy voice.

He grinned at me "Well look who's joined the game" he said.

I smiled and batted my eyes "Well I've got to haven't I - I wouldn't want to fall too far behind" I told him.

He let go of me and I gave him another pout, which he laughed at "You want to stay in the car" he asked me.

I thought about it and there was so much more room to continue this outside so I shook my head and got out the car. "So, where are we and what are are we doing here?" I asked him once he'd joined me outside.

"Well" he said as he opened the trunk and took a bag out "We're at the woods between Seattle and Forks, I thought we could have lunch together here."

I smiled as I walked over to him "So that's what's in the bag" I said.

"Yes" he answered "What did you think was in it?" he asked puzzled.

"Rope and a shovel maybe?" I told him.

"Hmm tempting" he muttered giving me another kiss "But I think I'll abstain for the moment" he said as he turned and started walking towards the path.

We were walking through trees and I was hoping that he was keeping track of where we were going because I didn't have a fucking clue where we were, when I noticed a clearing up ahead. "Is that what we're headed for?" I asked him pointing towards the clearing, he nodded "What is it, what's up there?" I asked him.

He turned to me and gave an amused smile "You're not very good at waiting are you?" he said.

I huffed, I was just curious. We reached the gap in the trees "Ladies first" he told me.

"This better not be a cliff your making me walk off Carlisle" I said in a mock stern voice as I walked through.

I couldn't stop the gasp that escaped my lips because the sight before me was just beautiful. It was a field full of wild flowers and trees with a river that cut across it.

"Do you like it?" He asked softly

I looked at him "It's amazing" I said softly.

He smiled and took me by the hand "Good" he said and he lead me into the field and through a sea of flowers.

He came to a stop when we reached the edge of the river and sat down and gestured for me to join him.

He opened the bag he carried and withdrew two brown bags and two bottles of water and then passed one of each to me. I thanked him and put them down "Carlisle" I asked "Why did you bring me here?"

"That's quite simple really" he said as he opened his water bottle and took a drink from it "I wanted to get to know the woman I'm attracted too, and I want her to get to know me."

I wasn't sure how to respond, I started to ask what he wanted to know but he gestured for me to stop. "I need to say a few things first Bella" he said "I need to apologize for shouting at you earlier, it was unnecessary and rude - I'm very sorry about it. Secondly I need to make it clear that - I'm not an asshole. I know that I've been unpredictable with you - It's just that this whole thing is new to me…. Infidelity - I'm supposed to be against it and set an example, a good one and I'm not and it's hard for me. But you're not something I want to give up, because I'm tired of being lonely" he finished, his face serious.

I was touched by what he said, but I wasn't ready to reciprocate just yet so instead I settled for saying "That's really sweet, but can I have the other Carlisle back now please - because this new one's scaring me."

He smirked at me then leaned forward and pulled my arm so I fell against him and said "I'm sure that can be arranged." So all in all not a bad day I thought to myself.

Reviews x


	13. Chapter 13: Sunday bloody Sunday

Disclaimer; I don't own twilight, Bella or Carlisle… because lets face it - if I did own it - and Carlisle, it would be a totally different story… wink wink lol.

A/N Thanks for the love people, it makes me happy x

Chapter 13: Sunday bloody Sunday

It had been three days since I'd last seen Carlisle but it's not like I didn't have plenty to think about since then, because believe me I did.

True to his word on Thursday after we got back from our trip Renee told me that Esme had called and said that she didn't need me to help out anymore and to just take it easy until I start school on Monday. Major relief let me tell you, because one more day with that fucking stalker Newton and I was gonna kick his fucking ass!

But as I said, it wasn't like I had nothing to think about because surprisingly Carlisle had told me a bit more about himself - and to be honest, I liked what I heard.

Example one, apparently Carlisle didn't want to become a priest - but his daddy made him, he had wanted to become a doctor…. And I have to say that I think he would look majorly hot in a doctors coat.

Example two, he had abs to die for - how do I know this, because I saw them! He didn't do it deliberately, which is a total shame - but thank god for sunshine because it makes hot men even hotter and wear less clothing.

And finally example three Carlisle Cullen was a trust fund baby, mommy and daddy were rolling in it and now apparently so was he. So basically - he could have been a doctor, great abs, loaded, fucking gorgeous and had enough charm that he could probably make a nun drop her knickers… seriously is there anything he couldn't do?

I was just contemplating the answers to the previous question when Renee came barging into my room… Hello its called knocking!

"Good, you're awake - it's time you get up" she said as she opened my curtains and tried to temporarily blind me with the light.

"Um hello it's Sunday" I told her as I buried myself underneath the blankets.

"I am aware what day it is Bella" she said as she ripped the blankets off me.

I closed my eyes "That's it, I know I'm adopted - because there is no way in hell you're normal enough to have given birth to me" I told her.

"Charming" she said as she made her way out of the room "Now it's 07.45, get up."

I let out a groan 07.45 - what the fuck? "Why" I shouted at her.

"Because" she called "We're going to church" and it was at that point I rolled over and fell off the bed.

I lay on the floor and groaned, why the hell we were going to church. We never go to church - was she trying to make sure I was going to hell… because at this point I seriously thought so.

"And try to look presentable" she called as she walked passed my room. Sure, I'll get right on that I thought - right after I pull my hair out. I rolled over and got up off the floor and went to get dressed.

I had just finished getting dressed when I decided that I would bite the bullet and call Alice to get her advice on what I should do. I grabbed my phone of the dresser beside me and pressed the speed dial…

(_Alice_/Bella)

Ring…

Ring ring

Ring…

"_Whoever the fuck this is better hang up the phone now, because when I find you - I will kill you!"_

"I'm really feeling the love, you bitch!" I told her

"_Bella?"_

"The one and only"

"_Oh my god, how's you?" _she asked, and then added _"And why the fuck are you calling me this early on a Sunday?"_

"I'm good" I told her "Except for the fact that Renee is making me go to fucking church this morning"

"_Clearly she has issues" _she said

"I always thought so, anyway I wanted to call you to see what you think I should do?"

"_Well, first things first - what are you wearing?" _She asked

"Black jeans, black vest top and black shirt - why?"

"_It'll do, I suppose - now get going" _she said

"That's it?"

"_Yep…. That and don't do anything I wouldn't do" _she told me and then hung up

Thanks? "Bella, it's time to go" Renee called. Great, well I guess I was going to church.

Reviews x


	14. Chapter 14 : Confessions

Disclaimer; Twilight isn't mine I'm afraid - all that credit goes to S.M.

A/N Thank you for the reviews, you know I love it. And thank you to everyone else for reading it - now lets get on with it ….

Chapter 14: Confessions

Okay, I'm going to start with a seriously major what the fuck! After my conversation with Alice earlier I grudgingly accepted that I might just have to ruin my Sunday morning in bed thinking about Carlisle and settle for bitchy grannys and boring sermons. But nothing on this earth could of prepared me for this, It looked like fucking fashion week! Virtually every women in Forkes was here - and they weren't dressed like it was 9 o'clock in the morning that's for damn sure. It looked more like they were about to go out for the night, not go to fucking church - desperate bitches. I mean seriously do these people have any shame - some of them had to be nearly fifty and they were wearing short skirts for fuck sake! Add to the fact he was a priest and that he was married, total overreaction because they all thought he was happily married and would never cheat on her. Fair enough he was messing around with me but I knew better - they were just being presumptuous thinking that a hot guy would give them the time of day if they dressed like tarts. . . . . I paused for a moment thinking this over when something occurred to me "Aww christ" I said to myself - but obviously not quietly enough because some old bat turned and gave me a scandalised look. I sound like a jealous bitch don't I - since when was that me? I groaned and leaned forward to bang my head of the seat in front of me.

"Bella, stop that" Renee whispered as she came to sit by me "I know you don't want to be here but you are, and its church so behave yourself." I gave a sigh and looked at her "Why" I asked her "Nobody else is." she looked like she was about to respond when the music started - so she settled for a glare and stood up to sing the first hymn. I slid down in my seat and groaned again, it would suck If I saw anyone I knew here. But then again I thought as I took a look round - it seemed that half of the school was here as well, the female half that is because I could see Angela, the ever desperate Jessica and the slut Mallory and if they were here so would everyone else. Renee seemed to figure out that I wasn't going to be standing up because she grabbed my arm and hissed at me to get up - which I did, although some what reluctantly. "What's up" I whispered to her, still a bit pissed that she wanted me here in the first place. "The priest is coming" she whispered "You're supposed to show your respect by standing." Huh? And like a complete fool I turned around and gaped as Carlisle walked down the aisle, looking more like a god himself in his flowing white robes. He glanced at me as he went passed and I could tell he wanted to laugh at the stupefied expression on my face.

I turned around as he made his way to the front of the church and came to a stop behind the podium and said "Welcome, and I would like to thank you all for coming on this Sunday morning. Now as you all who have been attending regularly will know we have been recently focusing on the cardinal sins or the seven deadly sins as it's most commonly called. Because with living life comes certain temptations and vices, the one we're going to be focusing on today is lust and how that relates to the seventh commandment." I leaned towards Renee "What's the seventh commandment" I whispered to her. "You shall not commit adultery" she said and I nearly choked on my spit. I let out a cough while glancing around subtly to see if anyone had noticed, they hadn't. What the fuck - seriously, I mean I wasn't big on the whole god thing - but I certainly didn't want to tempt fate… and this was asking for it.

I sat for the rest of the service on the edge of my seat, half expecting some huge god like creature to come and strike me down… but none did. Just maybe this god thing is overrated I wondered to myself because if he did come down I wouldn't be the only one he took out I thought to myself as I looked at the women around me who were busy crossing and uncrossing their legs. I noticed that people were starting to get up, was this the end - because if it was then thank fuck for that. I looked over at Renee who gestured for me to get up, "Communion" she whispered to me. Communion? Aww crap….Actually wait no, isn't that where you go up to the priest, get on your knees and he puts a crisp thing in your mouth? Fuck yeh it was! I was so into that, and in front of everyone too…. Hmm I'm thinking I have an inner exhibitionist I thought as I walked towards the line at the front of the church. I waited patiently in line for my turn with Renee in front and I have to admit this is some pretty kinky shit - me getting on my knees and opening my mouth for him to put something in, in front of all these people and clearly he thought so too because when it was my turn he had a particular look in his eye as he did it and I knew that he was as turned on as I was right now and it felt so fucking good.

Finally after I made my way back to my seat and everyone else had their turn it was the end of the service and I let out a sigh of relief. I watched as most of the congregation filed out and I stood up to join then when I felt Renee's hand on my arm "Not so fast Bella" she said "I still have to go to confession yet." "Since when do you go to confession Mom" I asked her. "Since a few weeks ago, it's good for the soul - now wait here and I won't be too long" she said walking off towards the back of the room. I looked around me and noticed that I was the only one left, everyone else had gone on outside.

I sat there for a while fiddling with the hem of my shirt and looking around at the church when I heard Renee call out to me and I looked to find her standing at the back of the church and I made my way over to her. "Okay, I've made you suffer long enough" she said ruffling my hair affectionately "Time to go home." I paused and she looked at me questioningly "Actually" I said slowly "Would it be okay if I went to confession too? Its just I have some things I would really like to talk about and maybe father Carlisle can help?" She smiled at me "Bella, that's lovely - I'm so glad you're making an effort, of course it is" I beamed at her "Do you want me to wait for you?" she asked. "Oh no it's fine, I'll just walk home - it's not far" I told her. "Okay honey, well I hope you get something out of it" she told me. You have no idea I thought, "Is it just through here?" I asked her pointing to the door she had just came from. "Yes honey, now I'll see you at home" she said. "Yep see you there" I told her as I walked over to the door and let myself in.

Before me was a small dimly lit room with a large wardrobe like structure in the centre, which I assumed was the confessional. I took a deep breath and walked towards the curtain, my body trembling with excitement all the way. I lifted the curtain and went in, sitting on the seat provided. I head the panel in the wall slide back and he waited on the other side for me to talk, I took another deep breath and said "Bless me father for I have sinned." I heard his harsh indrawn breath, smiled quietly to myself and continued "I've never done this before" I told him "But I need your help father." "How can I be of service to you my child" he said, his voice shaking slightly. "I have sinned father and I'm worried because it's going to happen again" I told him. "How have you sinned my child?" he asked. I bit my lip slightly "I have thoughts father, impure thoughts and I can't seem to stop them - I don't want to stop them" I told him.

I could hear him groan quietly behind the screen and I felt the ache between my legs get worse. I adjusted myself on the seat trying to get comfortable, waiting for him to respond. "That's a very serious sin, having impure thoughts" he told me. I let out a sigh "I know father, but it gets worse you see." "And why does it get worse dear one?" he asked. I crossed my legs and pulled at the neckline of my vest as if I was distressed "Well" I told him looking at the screen knowing he was watching me "He's not mine to want, he is someone else's husband" I whispered while pulling my top lower still. I heard him clear his throat and shift about slightly, "That's a very serious offence" he told me his voice deepening. "I know father, I need to make amends - what should be my penance?" I asked him. "That is a very good question, your penance should not only teach you the evilness of your acts but also help you get over these vile thoughts" he told me. "And how can I do that father" I asked him, still pulling at the neckline of my vest. "Well" he said I think the only appropriate action should be for you to relive yourself of this need." I felt the excitement building in the pit of my belly "Relive myself father?" I asked him, while knowing exactly what he meant. "Yes, Relive yourself with thoughts of this man you desire" he said. "Very well father" I told him "I shall do as you ask" and I went to leave.

"You misunderstand me dear one" he said "I said you need to relive yourself, but you must do it here because I need to see that your punishment is carried out accordingly and that you learn your lesson." I took a shaky breath, I could feel my arousal building with his words and I wanted to do as he asked - fuck if there was a chance we wouldn't get caught, I'd go in that cubicle of his and screw him stupid I thought to myself. "I need to relive myself here" I repeated "And how would you like me to do that father?" I asked him. "I want you to undo your pants and slide them and your underwear down to your knees Isabella" he told me, his voice firm. I stood up and slid my shirt off my shoulders, then I undid the button on my jeans and slid them down to my knees, I hooked my thumb into my underwear and pulled then down too. Then there I was standing in a confessional with nothing but my vest for modesty "Sit down Isabella" he rasped. I sat and placed my hands on my legs rubbing them up and down. "Now Isabella" he said "Open your legs" and I complied. I heard him breath in deeply again "Now, think of the man whom you desire and touch yourself" he whispered to me.

I slid my hands down to my inner thighs and held them there for a moment and then I brushed my hands over the sensitive skin of m sex and groaned "Carlisle." I watched him as he watched me and I ran my fingers over and over my throbbing centre and I groaned again. "Are you thinking about me?" he said "Are you wishing it was me doing that to you Isabella" he whispered to me. "Yes" I groaned. "Good" he told me, "Now open your legs more, yes that's it" he said as I did as I was told - "You like it when I tell you what to do, don't you Isabella?" I groaned "Yes, I love it" I told him and I heard him laugh quietly. "Good girl" he whispered to me. I started to rub myself faster and harder, I groaned again and arched my hips forward. "Are you close to cuming?" he asked me. "Yes" I whispered "I'm very close" I told him. "Now have you learned your lesson Isabella?" I groaned "What lesson" I asked him…oh god I was so fucking close. "The lesson where you can never relive yourself without me, is that understood?" he told me, his tone forceful. "Yes" I groaned. "Good, now be very quiet Isabella, can you do that for me?" he asked. "Uh huh" I muttered. "Good girl, cum for me now!" I let out a groan and shuddered as I felt the orgasm rock my body as I breathed deeply.

"Are you still with me over there" I heard him ask me, a hint of humour in his voice. "Just about" I muttered as I stood up still a bit shaky, pulling my pants up as I did. God that was good, and if it's that good when he's watching what the fuck will it be like when he's touching I wondered. I climbed out of the booth and stood outside in the little room once again, my face flushed. He joined me there a second later with a smile on his face "Bella, that was…." but I never got a chance to hear the rest of it because it was at that moment Esme walked into the room. Fucking fantastic.

Give me love people, you know I deserve it x


	15. Chapter 15: How the fuck would you feel?

Disclaimer; Twilight isn't mine

A/N Thanks for your reviews and story alerts ect, it's that stuff that makes me happy

Chapter 15: How the fuck would you feel?

Oh shit, shit, shit - okay smile and none of that guilt shit I told myself as Esme walked over to where we were standing. "Esme darling" Carlisle said stepping forward and giving her a kiss on the cheek "What are you doing here?" She smiled and said "I was starting to wonder where you had gotten too." Carlisle gave her a smile, glanced at me and said "I was taking confession with Bella." Esme looked at me "Really Bella? I'm surprised, not in a bad way of course, it's just you don't strike me as the type of girl who needs to go to confession" she said. "Well, Renee told me that she goes regularly and I thought I could do with a bit of advice… so why not give it a go" I told her. "Well that's lovely dear, isn't that lovely Carlisle?" she asked him. He gave a small smile "Yes lovely" he repeated. Oh my god I swear… this is so fucked up it's unreal…breathe, don't fucking panic now. "Bella, are you quite alright - you look a little flushed" she said. Well funnily enough, no not really - why because I just fingered myself in front of your husband, had a fucking great orgasm and then walk out to find you - his wife walking in HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU FEEL!

_I smiled at her and said "I'm fine, really" whilst doing my best good Bella face. "That's good" she said and then smiled at me again…okay awkward much - stop fucking smiling please! Fucking say something…. Anything, but neither of them did, I sighed mentally - I guess it was up to me to get myself out of this then. "Well I really think I should get going now, Renee will be wondering what's keeping me" I told them. "Right honey, well it was nice to see you again" like fuck it is I thought. "Yes Bella" Carlisle said speaking up at last "It was lovely to see you" and then he gave me his best people smile - not the I've just seen you cum smile, which I totally deserved and was a bit pissed that I didn't get… but whatever, I'd deal with that shit later. "Yep you too" I told them and then I got my ass out of there post haste._

_I waited until I had gotten a good ten minutes from the church before I sat down and took a majorly deep breath. I have to admit, when Renee dragged my ass out of bed this morning I had no fucking clue that this shit was going to happen. Don't get me wrong it was fucking fantastic, and there's not a chance in hell I'd take it back. Just part of me is so confused - I mean where the fuck was this going? What did he think of me…really? Seriously, sometimes I hate being a girl - it's so fucking confusing! I let out another sigh and checked my watch, It was 1.10pm - so much of the day had gone by already and tomorrow it was back to school, that totally fucking sucked!_

_By the time I dragged my ass home it was pushing 2 o'clock and Renee was not happy, she was in the middle of one of her "Nobody loves me" trips because Charlie had called and said he was working late. I really wasn't in the mood foe that shit, so I just went upstairs and lay on my bed for a while. I tried to give Alice a call, but according to her mom she was out with Jasper - ugh what is it with best friends and boys that don't mix? I was just starting to drift off to sleep when my phone started to buzz in my pocket, I groaned Alice's timing sucked. I dug my phone out of my pocket to find I had a message, I opened it but instead of finding Alice's number on the screen it was one I didn't recognise. The message said "I enjoyed seeing that side of you today Isabella, although next time I am hoping that it will be a joint thing." I let out a sleepy giggle, I knew I could count on him to make me feel better - I was just overreacting before I thought as I put my phone down, I'm sure of it. This was going to work, I would fucking make it work I thought as I drifted off to sleep._

_A/N sorry it took me so long to update guys, I'm overwhelmed with ideas at the moment and not just for this story either but for some new one's too, some of which I'm already working on, Ugh - I need focus…… _

_Reviews x_


	16. Chapter 16 : New day, new year

Disclaimer; Twilight and it's characters don't belong to me - no matter how much I wish otherwise.

A/N Hi guy's, some of you seem to be getting a bit anxious of a lemon or three… I promise there will be some, so stick with me - although I have to say… that to me it's the story that is important and it's what I'm concentrating on…. I'm not writing a sexcapade here….…ok well maybe in parts - but the rest is - I hope a good story x

Chapter 16 : New day, New year

The some days the second your alarm clock goes off you can tell what sort of day it's going to be…. And right this second I knew it was going to be one really shitty day. I groaned, rolled over and turned my alarm off - I was seriously fucking exhausted. Yesterday after I fell asleep I woke up at like 8pm and then didn't manage to get to sleep again until after 3 this morning. I hate school, If I thought Renee could actually teach me something I would of went home school years ago. I crawled out of bed and headed for the bathroom to take a shower.

Thirty minutes later I was headed getting ready to leave for school when I ran into Renee in the kitchen and she told me that Charlie had went out of town on business and would be gone a few days "He told me to give you a hundred dollars so you could go on a shopping trip or something but \I don't think that will be enough so here's two hundred" she said handing me the money "I've got plans for the rest of the day and I'm not sure what time I'll be back so just have dinner without me okay sweetie" she said, and then she was gone. Well gee thanks a lot Renee and happy first day of school to you too I thought to myself. I sighed and went out to my truck and got in when my phone signalled that I had a text. I opened it "I hope I can trust you to be good girl for your first day back at school" it said. I checked the number and grinned, it was Carlisle - I could always rely on him to cheer me up when I was down. I quickly typed back a response "Why? When we both know I'm so much better when I'm bad" and pressed send. I tossed my phone on the passenger seat, put my seatbelt on, started the engine on and began the drive to school.

I was just pulling into a space in the parking lot at school when my phone signalled that I had another message. I turned the engine off and leaned over to grab my phone off the seat. I opened the message and couldn't help the wave of disappointment that came over me - It was from Alice. "Smile" it said, huh? I think that all that time fucking Jasper Hale has melted her brain. I put my phone in my pocket and turned to get out of the truck and got the shock of my life - because there was Alice with her face up against the window wearing a shit eating grin. "Where's my smile bitch" she mouthed. I laughed and opened the door "I don't know" I told her "Where the fuck's my hug?" She smirked "A hug huh?" she asked as I got out and slammed the door closed behind me and then she body slammed me against the door, knocking all the air out of me and hung on for dear life. I let out a groan and she pulled away "We'll have less of the sex noises thanks, otherwise I might have to re think this whole friendship thing" she said. I laughed and told her "Alice honey, the only way I would make sex noises at you is if this was a dream and you looked like Johnny Depp. But you don't and it's not….cuz if it was then that fucker would so be dead" I said pointing over to where Newton was standing. She laughed "I don't disagree with that, and we don't have time for me too cuz we gotta get our asses to the gym for the big back to school assembly" she said. "Awesome" I deadpanned.

Ten minutes later we were sitting in the gym with the rest of the school waiting for principle Jones to arrive so we could get this crap over with. Because every year they did this and every year it sucked - you'd think that they would give up by now. I sat and stared at my phone while Alice went on about how much she was missing Jasper and he had only been gone one fucking day! She was complaining that she didn't see why his rich assed parents couldn't sent him here to school but apparently they didn't think it was good enough for there precious son. "Fuck them" I told her. "I know it's totally shitty" she agreed. Why the hell hadn't he replied? I had been all flirty and shit and usually he would be all dirty back… but he hadn't even bothered to reply. I sighed "Something up?" Alice asked. "No I'm good" I told her. I couldn't be bothered to go into all the details with her now. "Here's Jones" she said. I looked up and sure enough there he was standing at the front and he had someone with him. I couldn't see who it was though as they had there back to me when Alice leaned over and whispered "I've got a feeling that this might not be too boring after all." I glanced over to her "Why's that then?" I asked her. She pointed back to the front "Eye candy" she said. I turned back to look at what she was pointing at and saw that standing at the front of the gym next to principal Jones was non other than Carlisle Cullen.

A/N Sorry about the delay guys - I hoped you liked it. Don't forget to leave me some love x


	17. Chapter 17: The right direction

Disclaimer; Twilight doesn't belong to me - I just wish it did.

A/N Thanks for reading, reviewing, alerting and making favourite guy's. It's great to know that you're liking the story. For all of you that are waiting for an update on right answer, wrong choice - It'll be up in the next few days - promise x

Chapter 17 : Point me in the right direction

Oh my fucking god, seriously what the hell was he doing here! I felt Alice tap my chin "Mouth Bella, it doesn't look very attractive when it's hanging open" she said. I made sure I flipped her off after I closed my mouth "What do you think he's doing here?" I asked her. "I'm not sure" she said thoughtfully "Maybe he's going to try and save us troubled kids from ourselves on mass as a handy time saving technique." I snorted as principle Jones motioned for everyone to quiet down with the usual "Okay folks that's enough" and then launched into the usual back to school bullshit.

I must have zoned out for a bit because next thing I knew Alice was tapping be on the arm and asking me if I'd decided yet…"Huh?" I asked. She sighed and shook her said "Your birthday, have you decided what we're doing yet?" I groaned "Ugh, no idea yet… probably killing myself" I told her. "Well that would be different" she said rolling her eyes "Do you know what you want yet?" I nodded my head "Yes" I told her "I want Carlisle Cullen - tied up, preferably naked - totally at my mercy… and maybe a bed in there somewhere, but that last bits optional." She laughed quietly "You're one sick girl, you know that right?" she asked. "Yep, know it and love it" I told her. She shook her head and then looked at Jones who was still waffling on about fuck knows what when she turned to me and said "Well at least we know what he's doing here now." I gave her a blank look "We do?" I asked her. She huffed "Do you ever listen?" she asked. I rolled my eyes and flipped her off again "Not to this shit no, we aren't all teachers pets like you" I told her. "Well then listen and you might have a clue what's going on" she said pointing towards the front.

I turned back towards the front and tried to take in what Jones was going on about… something to do with a great opportunity to get to know each other, opportunities and some other bullshit. "And so I'll finish on that note, except to say a big welcome to Carlisle Cullen, Forkes high's new guidance councillor" he said. Okay, what the fuck! Carlisle at school - okay I'll admit part of me thought that it was a fucking fantastic idea… but another part of me wondered how the fuck I would concentrate on school work when I knew he was just down the hall from me. This year was important because Renee and Charlie would be seriously pissed if I didn't get into any good colleges. I heard someone giggling behind me. I turned around to find desperate Jess and the Mallory slut laughing like fucking hyena's - that was another thing, every horny bitch in this school was gonna be after him and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. I sighed and turned back around only to find the man in question looking at me as he spoke to the hall "……..and I'll look forward to getting to know you all personally" he finished and then everyone was clapping as he walked back to where Jones was standing.

People started to get up to go to their classes but I was still sitting there thinking over what had just happened when Alice smacked my arm. "I know you need to have your dirty fantasies Bells but now really isn't the time, we need to English - so move your ass" she said while giving my arm another smack for good measure. "Fucking abusive bitch" I told her as I stood up and followed her out of the hall. "Yeh yeh" she said and then added "Look on the bright side, at least I don't charge you for it."

A/N leave me some love people x


	18. Chapter 18 : This little game of ours

Disclaimer; You know it's not mine, so don't bother asking

A/N I love the fact that you guy's are loving it!

Chapter 18 : This little game of ours

I swear to god if I heard those bitches giggling about a hands on approach one more fucking time I was seriously going to hurt something. Ever since the assembly on Monday all those sluts had been going on about is how they couldn't wait to see Carlisle, to get to know him "personally." Ugh! And then to top it off, the stupid bimbos who went to see him raved about his hands on approach and just how friendly he was and that made the rest of then fucking worse. Like I would fucking know anyway? Because it was day two of his counselling thing and the bastard still hadn't sent for me. I hadn't even had a text from him since Monday and it was now Wednesday. What the fuck! I let out a sigh, we were in second period English and usually this was my best class but I was really not in the mood for it today… and now I wasn't speaking to Alice because of her earlier remarks about how I should think about something different because whatever it was I was thinking about now made me look constipated and it wasn't attractive. Thank you very fucking much Alice!

I let out a sigh and flipped through the textbook on my desk when I became aware of how quiet the class had gotten, I glanced up to find Mr Page a teacher who I usually got on well with - standing in front of me with a pissed off look on his face. "Is there a problem Miss Swan? he asked. I gave him my best ass kissing expression and said "Not at all Mr Page, why do you ask?" He crossed his arms and glared down at me "Well, I'm not sure" he said "Maybe it's the fact that I've called on you twice now and you didn't even register it or perhaps it was the expression of total boredom on your face - you clearly don't want to be here, so get out" and then he pointed towards the door. Okay scratch that whole usually get on well with and replace it with I fucking hate that bastard. I slammed the textbook closed, shoved it into my bag along with everything else and stalked out of the class without bothering to look back.

Ten minutes later I was leaning on the wall facing the parking lot and seriously starting to wish that I was talking to Alice because this standing by myself shit was getting old. I stood up and stretched but then groaned loudly as I felt something in my back pop. "Is everything alright Miss Swan?" asked an amused voice from behind me. I lowered my arms and turned around slowly "Just peachy thanks" I said. He let out a chuckle and said "If I didn't know any better Miss Swan, I would say you were annoyed with me." I rolled my eyes "Mr Cullen, why would I be annoyed at you?" I said in my sweetest voice. His eyes seemed to darken slightly "Miss Swan" he said stepping closer to me "Haven't we already established that you should call me Carlisle." I gave him a blank look "We have?" I asked him "Sorry, I must have forgotten already." He gave me a small smirk and said "Well in that case, I think that maybe you should accompany me to my office so we can discuss how best we can remedy that."

Ah so you're interested now are you, well sorry honey but I'm going to make you work for it this time I thought to myself as I gave him a bland smile. "That's really nice of you Mr Cullen, but I'm afraid I really don't have time today - but if you want to get back to me later on in the week I'm sure we can sort something out" I told him. He cocked his head and then smiled at me "Well it's a shame that now's not good for you but I'm afraid later on in the week isn't very good for me. I guess we could always discuss it when I come over to your house tonight to drop back the book that Esme borrowed off Renee and we can discuss why you're out of lessons without a pass too can't we." Crap, he had me there and he knew it. "Well I do have sometime before English ends" I told him. "Excellent" he said as he turned and made his way towards the building on our left with me following closely behind.

A few minutes later I was standing behind him as he opened his office door and let me in. I looked around his office with interest as he closed the door behind me. It was a small space with a desk, two comfy chairs and a filing cabinet, it did have a large window though, but it was currently obscured by blinds. I felt hands grasp my arms and then suddenly I was turned around and thrust against the wall. "So Miss Swan, what's with these lapses in memory you've been having? Any idea what's triggering them?" he asked. I smiled at him "Well I'm not sure" I said "Maybe it's because its been a while so I've forgotten the rules." He lowered his head closer to mine and whispered "Well I shall have to remind you, won't I Isabella." I groaned as his lips grazed mine, the things this man could do to me just by simply talking was ridiculous but when he touched me it was something else entirely. He kissed down the side of my neck, his teeth nipping here and there, his hands on my hips pressing me into the wall. Then he stopped kissing my neck and settled for running his tongue lightly over my collarbone. "Isabella" he whispered against my skin "I told you to always call me Carlisle - never Mr Cullen." I groaned "And?" He pulled away from me and said "Well, I think it's only fitting that you make it up to me." I took a step towards him "And how do I do that" I asked him. He gave me a smile "However you like" he told me.

Time to get him as worked up as he's had me I thought as I took him my the arm and manoeuvred him so we had switched places. He was now the one pressed against the wall as I dug my hands into his hips and lowered my head towards his neck "Like this you mean?" I asked him as I began to nip at his neck gently with my teeth, "Or is it this you're after" I said as I took one of my hands off his hips and allowed it to graze his hardened cock. He groaned quietly. "Well?" I whispered as I placed my mouth next to his ear. "Both" he said firmly as he grasped my hips and pulled my body into his. I grazed my teeth over the sensitive skin of his earlobe and bit back a groan as he ground his hips into my own. His erection was painfully obvious my now and I couldn't resist wiggling my hips slightly against him. I felt his grip on my hips tighten enough to bruise the skin as he whispered "Behave Isabella, you know not to start what you can't finish." I laughed quietly said "And what if I have every intention of following through." He lowered his head and nibbled at my neck "I know you have every intention of following through, just as I do - however not now and not today, so behave yourself" he said and then he licked my neck. "That's nice" I told him "You tell me to behave and then you lick my neck, that's just not fair" I told him as forcibly pushed my hips back into his. I felt his hand move to the back of my neck and pull me towards him and he was just about to kiss me when there was a knock at the door and I remembered where we were. I felt his body stiffen against me "I think we're about even now" I told him as I stepped back, straitened my clothes up and walked to the door. I glanced back over my shoulder and found him watching me with a particular look in his eyes - a look that said we wouldn't be even for long. I opened the door and let myself out making sure to smile at Angela who was obviously waiting to be seen. I wasn't bothered that he would get me back for this afternoon, if anything I fucking welcomed it, but for now we were even. To be honest I was really starting to enjoy this little game of ours.

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	19. Chapter 19: Birthday talk

Disclaimer; I don't own anything

A/N Sorry for the delay - had a bit of writers block…. But don't worry that's all gone now - remember the faster you review, the quicker I'll update x

Chapter 19 : Birthday talk

The rest of the day I have to admit was pretty good, then again it would be pretty fucking impossible for it not to be after the scene in Carlisle's office. By the time I got home I was practically skipping and shit because sometime in the next couple of hours I would see Carlisle again and I knew it was going to be good after this afternoon. I ran upstairs to my room and threw myself on the bed and let out a sigh followed by a little squeal, who'd have thought that my life would actually get this good when only three weeks ago it was the total opposite. I felt my mind start to drift and all the stresses of the day just seemed to fall away and I felt my eyes start to close as I gave in to sleep.

"Bella…" a voice said. "Mmmm" I mumbled. "Bella" the voice said again, only this time louder. "Carlisle?" I asked. I felt something soft hit me on the head and I jerked up. "Well it's about time you were up" the voice said. I rubbed my eyes and looked over to find Renee standing at the edge of my bed, her hands on her hips and a rather amused expression on her face. "Have a nice nap?" she asked with a smirk. Huh? Since when does she ask me how I slept… and then I remembered - Carlisle, I said Carlisle - Crap! I sat up, glared at her and said "Whatever you heard - you didn't hear, got it!" she let out a giggle "Looks like someone's got a little crush" she said. I rolled my eyes and climbed out of bed "So what's up" I asked her "You don't normally bother me If I fall asleep." she giggled again "Well it just so happened that the object of your affections is downstairs - if your interested in joining us that is?" Carlisle's here…now! I went over to my wardrobe and started looking for something to wear while Renee laughed about crushes ect - all I can say is thank god she didn't know it was far more than that! "Mom" I said turning to look at her "I know you'd love us to be closer and shit, but that doesn't include seeing me naked - so a little privacy please! She rolled her eyes and mumbled the usual about wiping my arse when I was a kid etc ect as she left the room…. And I went back to trying to find something nice to wear for Carlisle.

Finally after ten minutes of debating I had settled on a pair of tight blue jeans and a dark green shirt that Alice once said did wonders for my skin and headed downstairs. I walked into the living room with a smile on my face and I wont lie I was excited as fuck and all expecting to see my man and instead I get his fucking wife. I stumbled on the rug slightly, the smile long gone from my face as Esme turned to look at me "Bella" she said "How good to see you!" Fuck off I thought "Esme" I said as I plastered a fake smile on my face "It's so good to see you." I heard someone snort, I glanced over and noticed Renee sitting in the corner with a look on her face that screamed liar. Esme stood up from where she had been sitting and walked towards me with her arms open. What the fuck, we're on hugging terms now are we? I thought as I tried not to flinch as she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed slightly. I patted her back awkwardly and then pulled away. "Come on lets talk" she said taking my arm and leading me over to where she had been sitting.

I sat down awkwardly beside her while wondering where the hell Carlisle was, and if he had ever actually been here in the first place and it wasn't just one of Renee's sick jokes after she heard me say his name - and if it was I would kill her! "So Bella" she said patting my knee "How does it feel to be back at school?" I pretended to think about it - when in fact all I cared about was where Carlisle was! "Its good" I told her, "How are you settling in?" I asked her trying to be polite. She gave me a bright smile "It's wonderful" she said "Everyone's been fantastic!" I gave her another fake smile "I'm glad" I told her. Which in a way I was because if she hadn't liked it here then she wouldn't have stayed and I would have never met Carlisle and that would have totally sucked! "So, is it just you or is the husband here as well?" I asked her whilst trying to ignore the sick feeling in my stomach at the word husband.

Esme smiled "Yes he is, he's just out side taking a call - ah speak of the devil" she said as she turned to look as the man himself walked into the room. I looked around and I couldn't help but stare - god he looked good. He had changed his clothes since I saw him this afternoon and done without the usual sweater, shirt and dress pants combo and settled for jeans and a white shirt. Then lets add to that the fact his hair was all windswept and his shirt was un tucked - I cum right now, just by looking at him - seriously all he would have to do is ask. I'm that fucked up. "Bella, how are you?" he asked smiling at me. Like you don't know I thought while I watched him walk over to where Renee was sitting and take the empty seat beside her "I'm fine" I told him. He smiled at me again "That's good" he replied. "How are you enjoying your new position at the school?" I asked him. "It's challenging - but I'm hoping I can rise to the occasion" he said. So do I, I thought to myself - In more ways than one. I turned to look at Renee and said "So what were you two talking about before I got here?" Renee smiled "You actually" she said. "Really, anything interesting?" I asked her. "Your birthday, as it's on Friday I was thinking that I would go and see Charlie because he's going to be away a bit longer than planned and that way you could have the house to yourself and do what ever you pleased - within reason of course, what do you think?" she said.

I'm not sure, but I think I was gaping at her - seriously this was going to be so fucking great. "Are you being serious?" I asked her. "Yes" she said nodding her head "But no boys." I laughed and said "Don't worry mom, no boys - I promise" because Carlisle Cullen was all man! "Well Bella, do you have any idea what you're going to do with your new found freedom" Esme asked. "I'm not sure yet, I'll have to see what comes up" I told her. "Well Bella" Carlisle said "We can talk about it tomorrow, when I see you at school - if you like, because I think it's about time we have our one on one - don't you?" I looked at him and smiled "Yes, I think it's way overdue" I told him. He smiled and said "My thoughts exactly."

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	20. Chapter 20 : One to one

Disclaimer; I just play with the characters - they don't belong to me.

A/N This chapter is dedicated to FionaRhiannon - Whose lovely reviews and funny tweets give me inspiration I need to write more - have a happy birthday. P.s - I know this isn't a kidnapped, naked P.F - and isn't even any where near as good, but I'm afraid it'll have to do lol….

Chapter 20 : One to one

I couldn't help but hum along to the radio on the way to school….. Okay who the hell am I kidding - I was fucking singing! Last night after Carlisle and…. _Esme _left I couldn't help but wonder what he had in store for me today - and believe me I had thought about a lot of different options, each one more graphic than the last.

As I pulled into the parking lot I noticed that Alice was standing by my usual parking place, we hadn't spoken since the English incident and I missed her - but there was no fucking way I was going to apologise first. I sighed and pulled the truck into the space beside where she was standing, turned the engine off, grabbed my bag and got out.

Alice was standing beside me the second I was out of the truck with a determined look on her face. "Listen" she said "We both know that you're a bitch and that I'm a bitch too - so can we just hurry the fuck up and make up so we can both be bitches together?" I couldn't help it - I laughed "Bitches together?" I asked her. "Yes" she told me "Because we're both as bad as each other and you fucking know it." I smirked at her "I'm not sure I agree with that" I told her slowly. "Fucking liar" she said as came forward and hugged me tightly. "Missed you" I told her. She laughed and pulled away "Missed you too babe" she told me, "Now hurry the fuck up, because at this rate we're going to be late." We both laughed and ran towards the main building just as the bell rang.

It was second period Bio before I got to see Alice again and I knew she would ask me about Carlisle, but I still wasn't sure if I should tell her or not. Part of me really wanted to - she was my person, but then another part of me wanted to keep this between me and Carlisle because if the shit did hit the fan then I didn't want to bring Alice down with me. I had just sat down and was getting my books out of my bag when Alice made her appearance beside me. "So are you going to dish the details about you and the preacher man" she whispered as she sat down. "There's nothing to spill" I said while crossing my fingers under the table "He's not interested and to be honest neither am I anymore."

Alice turned to stare at me "Seriously?" she asked. I nodded my head, this wasn't going to be as hard as I thought it was going to be. "Miss Swan" Mr Banner said coming to stand in front of our desk "I've been asked by Mr Cullen to tell you that you are to go to his office after the lesson for your one to one appointment" and then he walked off to begin the lesson leaving me with a smirking Alice. "Sooo nothings going on then?" she asked me. I gave her my serious face and said "Nothing is going on Alice - Jesus, don't you think if there was that you'd be the first person I'd fucking tell." She cocked her head to the side slightly "No you fucking well wouldn't. Why? because if it was me in your place I sure as hell wouldn't. But you'd better give me all the details once it's all over - otherwise I'll fucking kill you" she told me and then turned back to the front to listen to what Banner was saying.

The lesson passed quickly after that even though Alice had dropped the Carlisle thing and instead had talked endlessly about Jasper - how good things were between them, how great the sex is and just how fit he really was. Talk about too much information! By the end of the lesson I practically ran out the fucking room I was so desperate not to hear anymore. By the time I got to Carlisle's office I had just about managed to erase all traces of naked Jasper from my thoughts with some seriously sexy ones about Carlisle instead.

I knocked on the door and waited for Carlisle answer "Come in" he called. I opened the door and walked in slowly, he was sitting at his desk filling in what looked like paperwork "Close the door" he said not looking up. I turned and closed the door behind me "Now go and stand and face the wall until I'm done Isabella" he said quietly. "Excuse me?" I said staring at him. He looked up from his work and said "I don't recall asking you to speak Isabella, now do as your told." I huffed and then went over and stood facing the wall. I listened to the sound of him moving the papers around his desk as well as the occasional scratch of a pen. I shifted my weight from one leg to the other and sighed "Don't huff Isabella" he said. I waited another minute and moved again "Okay, you can come and sit down now" he told me. I turned around and glared at him as I walked over to his desk, he didn't seem to notice as he was still doing his paperwork. "So what was that about?" I asked him as I sat down in the chair that was beside the desk. He stopped writing, put the pen down on his desk and then sorted the papers into a pile. It was only then did he reply "You need to learn to do as your told without asking so many questions Isabella" he said. I let out a sigh "Well now that I've done as I'm told what's next" I asked him.

"Well" he said leaning back in his chair "You could start by telling me what you want out of life." I gave him a pout, he was going to talk about actual guidance councillor things? - that just wasn't fucking right. Hmm we'd see about that. "I'm not sure" I told him as I leaned forward - although what I did know was that I was really grateful that I'd worn a low cut top this morning. "It changes from day to day, I mean some day's all I want is to be a good little girl and do exactly what my parents want" I said. He cleared his throat and his eyes drifted down to my cleavage "And the other days?" he asked. "The other days" I said as I started to finger around the neckline of my top "I just want to be bad, but not just any bad either…." He was watching the progress of my fingers as I brushed them over the top of my breast "What kind of bad would that be" he whispered liking his lips slightly. I smiled at him "The bend me over the desk and fuck me thoroughly kind of bad" I teased.

He leaned over the desk towards me and whispered "And what kind of a girl are you today Isabella" he whispered. I leaned closer to him so our faces were practically touching "Definitely the bad kind" I replied. He leaned back and stood up to make his way around the desk and stood in front of me. I stood up and took a step closer to him so that our bodies were just barely touching "You know it's funny you should mention that" he said placing his hands firmly on my hips "Because I've always had a thing for bad girls." Then before I had time to register what he was doing he had swung me around and had me pinned beneath him so I was half on, half off the desk with him resting between my legs.

I smirked up at him and gave a little wiggle as I felt the hardness of his cock pressing in between my legs. He lowered his head and pressed his lips to my ear "You don't mind if I'm on top do you?" he whispered. Holy shit. "Isabella" he whispered again. What a fucking tease, I couldn't help myself - I threaded my hands through his hair then grabbed a handful of it and pulled until his lips had moved from my ear to my mouth. "Fucking kiss me" I growled at him. For once he didn't argue with me, instead he thrust his fingers into my hair and crushed his lips against mine. I let out a groan as he thrust his tongue into my mouth and his fingers tightened their hold on my hair. "Is this what you want Isabella, you want me to take you right here against this desk" he asked me as he pulled away slightly. "Yes" I practically moaned as I ground my hips into his. I felt him laugh quietly as he moved his head away from me and roughly pulled the neck of my top so it slid off my shoulder and then lowered his lips onto my burning skin. This was exactly what I wanted, since the very second we met and I think It's about damn time I got what I wanted, because he'd kept me waiting long enough.

A/N Right well that's a good enough place as any to end this chapter - don't you think ;) But if you're all good girls and boys and give me lots of those lovely reviews then I promise I'll have a new update for you very soon x x x


	21. Chapter 21: Seriously

Disclaimer; I don't own twilight - but I do have the dvd.

A/N Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Chapter 21 : Seriously

He moved, kissing my cheek, my neck and down my chest. His hands were squeezing at my hips and I could feel his control slipping. I arched my back up off the desk and groaned as he started to alternate between licking and biting my collarbone. He laughed quietly against my skin "I'm so glad that you find this amusing" I told him. "It's not just amusing Isabella, it's also incredibly stimulating" he replied. I pulled his shirt free from his pants and slid my hands up underneath it. He let out a low groan as I traced the line between his stomach and the top of his pants.

I had just moved my hands so I could undo the buttons of his shirt when the office phone rang. He cursed as he got off me and went around the desk to answer the call. "Yes" he said. As I watched him talk on the phone I noticed he suddenly very tense, muttered a quick thanks and hung up. "Bella" he said turning to me "That was the office, apparently my wife's on her way up." Fuck. I jumped off the desk and began to frantically try and tidy myself up as he did the same. "I think you should go back to your lesson" he told me. "No fucking kidding" I muttered as I grabbed my bag and made for the door.

It was only after I had gotten safely out of there and into my next class that I gave a huge thank you fucking god. By the time the final bell rang I was so fucking horny/pissed it was unbelievable. I practically made Newton piss himself when he tried to talk to me - now that was some funny shit. Anyway I was just climbing into my truck after successfully avoiding Alice when my cell rang.

(_Carlisle_/Bella)

"Hello?"

"_Isabella_"

"Carlisle?"

"_Were you expecting someone else?_"

"I thought you might have been Alice - she gets pissed when I avoid her"

"_About earlier_" he said

"Seriously close call"

"_Yes_"

"And" I asked

"_Well it turns out she actually had a reason for coming_."

"Really?" I asked "Let me guess, she ran out of happy pills and wants you to pick up another batch so she can carry on her quest to save the world?"

He chuckled "_Not quite_."

"The suspense is killing me" I deadpanned

"_She's going away tomorrow, for the whole weekend_."

"Fuck, seriously?"

"_Yes, Now I was wondering if you had any plans for tomorrow night - it being your birthday and all_."

"Nope"

"_Good, then how about me and you have our own celebration together_?"

"Fuck yes!"

He laughed again "_I have to say this has worked out rather well hasn't it - your parents away, my wife away and an empty house_."

"I know, I always thought that people were talking shit about birthday wishes, but I've sure as hell got mine - so who knows maybe it is true."

"_I'll text you tomorrow what time I'll be coming over_" he said

"Ok"

"_Until then, dream of me Isabella"_

"After this afternoon it's pretty much guaranteed" I told him.

He laughed and ended the call

Oh. my. Fucking. GOD! Its about time, I was seriously starting to worry that I was going to end up dieing a virgin at this rate. I tossed my cell on the seat beside me and started the engine. This was going to be one fucking great birthday - pun intended!

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	22. Chapter 22 : Mind of a preacher man

Disclaimer; As ever Twilight belongs to the lovely S.M - Thanks for the inspiration.

A/N Thanks for all your reviews etc - I love it. However with this chapter I thought I'd give a different insight for a change x

Chapter 22 : Inside the mind of a preacher man

CPOV

I frantically tried to straighten my clothing up as I heard Bella close the door on her way out. How the hell did things ever get this complicated? This was suppose to be a new town and a new start for us and instead I start an affair with a seventeen year old girl (eighteen tomorrow though a part of my mind whispered)

I groaned and slumped down into my chair and stared at the messy desk in front of me. I had no idea how all this had even began - I just wanted her. I wanted her more than I've wanted anything in a long time. These past few years had been bad and looking back I know now I should never have married Esme. At the time she seemed to be everything I needed in a wife - kind, understanding, beautiful, intelligent and would make an excellent mother. Then nearly a year after we said I do, everything went to hell.

"Carlisle?" a voice called. I looked up to see Esme standing in front of me with a bemused expression on her face. "Is everything alright dear?" she asked me. Well no not really - you see to be quite honest I'm miserable and the only source of happiness I have is the affair I have just recently started with a teenage girl. "Of course, everything's fine" I replied.

"I'm glad dear" she replied as she sat down on the chair opposite the desk. "So what couldn't wait until tonight?" I asked her. "I have to go out of town for a few days" she said. "Is anything the matter?" I asked. She smiled and said "Not at all, I just have some things to take care of - that's all. I'll be back on Sunday night - you don't mind terribly do you?"

Do I mind? Well I probably should but I don't. Its been too long since our marriage has been anything other than a convenience and it isn't even that now. "No Esme honey it's fine" I told her. She stood up "Thank you dear" she said as she leaned forward and kissed my cheek softly. "I better get going because I want to get going as soon as possible" she told me as she headed towards the door.

As I watched her go a plan started to form in my head. I was going to take things to the next level with Bella and see if that would put an end to my infatuation with her. I reached over to grab my cell of the desk when I realised Esme was standing in just the doorway "I love you" she called to me. I felt my chest constrict "I love you too" I told her. She smiled at me again and then pulled the door closed behind her.

I sat back in the chair and sighed this was proving to be more difficult than I first thought. I really should have become a doctor instead of a priest - that way I would be less of a hypocrite because I've never really been good at telling the truth. I reached over and picked the cell phone up off my desk and dialled Bella's number.

I winced slightly as the whisky burned the back of my throat, it had been a long time since I'd had a stiff drink. According to my wife it wasn't befitting for a priest to drink anything stronger than communal wine. 'Well what she didn't couldn't hurt her I thought to myself as I took another deep drink from the glass in my hand. I had done it. I had called her and arranged to see her tomorrow night - well tonight really, I corrected myself glancing at the clock.

I drained the last dregs of whisky from the glass and then placed on the table in front of me. It was 01.15am and I had been sitting on the sofa drinking whisky since I got in just over four hours ago. I was probably more than a bit drunk - which given the early morning I had coming up, wasn't good. But at this point I didn't really care because I had a feeling that something was up.

Esme had called earlier on just as she said she would, but I could sense that something was off with her, like she wasn't telling me something. Maybe she knew about my flirting with Bella? 'Don't be stupid' my mind whispered 'For that to happen she would have to actually pay attention to someone else's problems for a change.'

I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face. Things were suppose to be so different, we could have worked things out, but then after everything that happened with Emma - there was nothing more we could say to each other anymore. I stared at the empty glass on the table, it was going to be a long night and I already needed another drink.

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	23. Chapter 23: It's my birthday

Disclaimer; I don't own it… but I really really want to

A/N I'm really grad you all liked the last chapter and the temporary change in pov - and a big thank you for all your fav's, alerts and reviews.

Chapter 23 It's my birthday and I'll fuck if I want to

Sometimes bad parenting really had it's benefits - Renee had been in such a rush to get out of the house this morning to catch her flight so her and Charlie could have their dirty weekend (shudder) together that she didn't even relise I was suppose to be at school. And there wasn't a chance in hell of me going there today for one of two reasons. The first being that it was my birthday and you'd think I'd be entitled to a bit of freedom for this one day a year. Then there was the second reason, tonight was the big night with Carlisle - can I seriously be expected to hold it together and concentrate on school work when I'm as horny as fuck?

The downside however was that now I wasn't just horny as fuck, I was also bored as fuck too. I let out a groan as I flopped down on the sofa in living room - why is it the one day I skip school there's fuck all on tv and nothing to do? I was just starting to debate whether or not I should go in late and just say I was sick or something when my cell started to ring.

(Bella/_Alice_)

"Hello?"

"_Why the hell aren't you in school, you big birthday bitch!_"

"Hi Alice"

"_Don't you hi Alice me - I had this big, huge thing planned for this morning then guess what? You don't turn up_" she fumed

"Seriously! You're giving me shit today - on my birthday, your one cruel bitch you know that don't you?" I told her

"_And yet you still love me_" she replied

I sighed "True" I told her

"_Anyway I have decided to forgive you - this time_"

"Generous of you" I told her

"_Very, now open the damn door_" she said

"You're here?" I asked

"_Well no actually, I just thought I'd ask you to get your fat ass of the couch and open the door because I thought it sounded good_" she replied and then hung up on me

I rolled my eyes as I got off the sofa and made my way into the hall towards the front door. I opened the door and sure enough there she was standing at my door, tapping her foot and looking very much like a pissed off pixie. "You know" I said conversationally as she stormed passed me carrying a large bag "I never realised there was such as a pissed off pixie until now." Just as I closed the door I heard her shout something "What was that?" I asked her as I walked back into the living room. She looked up from unpacking the bag she had brought with her "Go fuck yourself" she repeated.

I laughed and said "Well I've tried that, but it doesn't do the job as well as I'd like it too." Alice rolled her eyes and went back to taking things out of the bag. "So what's in the bag Mary Poppins" I asked.

"Mary Poppins? Two minutes ago I was Tinker bell - the pixie, so which is it? She asked. I shrugged "Who cares - there both Disney" I told her.

She snorted "Right, this is my birthday present to you" she told me, indicating to the pile of clothes she had just taken out of the bag. "Fabric?" I questioned. "Funny" she replied "Your wardrobe sucks - so this should help - especially with what's going down tonight."

She couldn't know - I hadn't told her and some how I seriously doubt Carlisle did…. Deny it! "Alice, honey - I haven't got a fucking clue what you're talking about. Have you been at the coffee again? Because I thought we discussed that after last time" I said.

"Listen" she said stepping closer to me "I know you're trying to protect me in case this all goes shit shaped - but regardless of whether or not you tell me, I still know what's going on. I'm not blind you know.

"No you're not blind, but I swear sometimes I think your fucking psychic or something" I told her. "Probably" she said shrugging "It makes sense since I know practically everything worth knowing about anything." I laughed and replied "And so modest too."

She laughed and said "Absolutely, now give me a hug birthday girl, cuz we've got a lot to do." I leaned forward and gave her a hug, she really was the greatest friend I could have - however scary at times. "Alice" I asked "You know when you said we have a lot to do what exactly do you mean by that?" I felt her arms tighten around me and that could mean only one thing - makeover time… crap

"Aww come on Alice" I said trying to pull away from her "Its my birthday for crying out loud - doesn't what I want count for anything?" She paused for a second before answering with a definitive "No" and then proceeded to turn me around and frog march me upstairs to do god knows what.

"Alice, this is supposed to look natural - the last thing I want is for him to think that I've spent four hours in front of a mirror tarting myself up for him" I told her. "Relax" she said "It doesn't look over the top - promise, besides it wasn't you that's been doing this for the last five hours so stop complaining." What the hell? "Five hours Alice, are you fucking kidding me?" I shouted.

"Stop whining, we're done now anyway" she said. "Does that mean I can actually look at the finished result now?" I asked her. She nodded her head, I got up off the bed where I'd been sitting and made my way over to the full length mirror that sat in the corner of my room. I took my time as I looked at the image in front of me. I turned around and looked at the back as well, and I have to admit it was worth it. Okay maybe not five hours worth but still, Alice had really out done herself - because I still looked like me, only infinitely better. There were no blemishes on my skin, my hair was perfectly curled, my fingers and toes had been manicured to perfection and for once I really felt like a girl.

"Alice" I said as I turned to look at her "I love it - Its still me, but better than usual and you didn't go over the top." She smiled as she came over to join me by the mirror "I'm glad" she said "And who knows, now that you've seen what I can do - you might let me do it more often."

I rolled my eyes and told her "You're dreaming." She laughed and replied "No actually I'm pretty sure I'm not, because if I was it would be me and Jasper, and there wouldn't be any clothes involved, that's for sure." I made a gagging sound "Okay one - serious over share, I love you but leave your sex life out of it and two, this whole dressing up game thing will never happen again okay" I said.

"Okay, whatever" she said "We'll continue this later, because I've got to go - your….birthday guest is going to be here soon." I felt my heartbeat quicken "And what makes you say that? I asked her "No wait let me guess, you had one of your feelings about it." She grabbed her jacket off the back of the chair where she'd left it and walked towards the door "Nope, you got a text while you were in the shower" she replied "He said he would be here at about 5.45pm and it's quarter past now so not that much longer."

"And you couldn't have told me earlier?" I asked her. "Why? And spoil this - no chance, anyway have fun B and happy birthday" she said with a wink as she left the room, closing the door behind her. Great thirty minutes until show time, what was I suppose to do until then? I turned back to look at myself in the mirror, Alice had made a good choice with the dress - It was a dark forest green colour, it had little shoe string straps and fell to just above my knees. She had told me to leave my feet bare of any shoes or stockings etc for a more naturally sexy look and I have to admit I was grateful because the last thing I wanted to wear was heels.

I glanced over at the clock on the table and was that it had only just turned 5.20pm. Great only twenty five minutes to go now.

Of all the fucking cheek, I go through all that Alice shit to look good and the fuckers late. I checked the kitchen clock again Yep 5.55pm, I swear when he gets here … I might not even bother to answer the door - that'll teach him to be on time. In sat there at the table and looked at my phone, I'll text Alice she'll know what to do. I picked up the phone and started to type out a message when I heard the doorbell ring.

Okay, that's him right - well who else would it be? Fuck him, he's late - why should I bother? Because you want him, that's why. But I should make him wait - I should be the one in control, the doorbell sounded again. To hell with it, I got up off the chair and walked through the living room and towards the front door and waited.

The doorbell rang again, I took a deep breath and opened the door. Standing on the front step and looking more gorgeous than ever stood Carlisle. He was wearing dark dress pants, a white shirt and his hair had that windswept look - the overall effect was (as Alice would put it) very GQ.

He smiled at me and asked "Keeping me waiting Isabella?" I smiled sweetly at him "No more than you have me" I replied as I turned and walked back into the living room. "Close the door behind you" I called back to him as I sat down on the sofa and waited for him to follow me.

For the first time I was free to look him without having to worry that someone could see me or might interrupt and I was going to make the most of it. I watched him as he came into the room, the sway of his hips, the outline of his shoulders through his shirt, the way the legs of his pants clung to the muscles on his legs when he walked - the list could go on forever.

"So" he said as he came to a stop in front of me "How are you enjoying your birthday so far?" Really? We're doing the small talk first, maybe if I tell him to cut to the chase and take his clothes off he'll get the hint. "Not bad" I told him "I got some nice things of Alice though, including the dress." He smiled and said "Well you should thank her because it's a very nice dress" he replied.

"Really?" I asked him "Because I think it creases far too easy" and then I stood up and turned around to show him the back "Can you see them?" He cleared his throat and said quietly "I can't see any." I faked concern and replied "I could of sworn there were some, and I really don't want to risk it - its probably such an expensive dress knowing Alice."

I turned back around to face him "Well maybe you should just take it of then, it would be a shame if anything more happened to it" he replied. I smiled and reached for the zip in the side of the dress and gave it a tug. I turned back around to face the sofa as I slid the dress off and then picked it up and placed it on the chair.

I turned back around to face Carlisle, he was looking at me as if he had never seen me before - his eyes were dark with appreciation as they took in the black strapless bra and matching panties I was wearing (Thank you Alice). He reached up and started undoing the buttons on his shirt, followed by his shoes and pants. Then he was standing in front of me in just a pair of plain black boxers "I didn't want you to feel underdressed" he said with a smirk.

My heart seemed to falter in my chest as he took a step closer to me so that our bodies were practically touching "Are you nervous Isabella?" he asked softly. "Excited" I contradicted. He chuckled softly as he leaned towards me "Good" he whispered.

He began to trace his fingers over my shoulder blades and up the sides of my neck. He began to run his lips along the length of my jaw and down the side of my neck. I grasped his arms tightly in my hands as I pulled him closer to me, I wanted my legs pressed against his ears as he went down on me and I screamed his name, I wanted him naked and ready and I wanted him now. "Strip" I commanded.

He laughed again "Ladies first" he whispered softly in my ear. Fine if that's how he wants to play it, lets go. I pulled away from him and took a step back, I reached around and loosened the clasp of my bra and let it fall to the floor. I watched him as he watched me slide my hands down my belly to my underwear, I hooked my thumbs into the sides and slide them down my legs so that they joined my bra on the floor. "Your move" I told him.

"Ah chess, I always did enjoy a good game" he replied as he stepped forward and pressed his body into mine. I could feel his rock hard arousal as it pressed into my stomach as he began to kiss my neck gently. I groaned as his hands began to touch my breasts "Do you like to have your nipples played with Isabella?" he asked. How the hell do I know? "Lets see shall we" he whispered.

I was about to ask what he meant when pinched my left nipple, I expected to feel pain but instead felt a rush of pleasure. He bent his head and took my breast in his mouth, sucking hard and insistently, communicating hid desire with every pull. I let out a load groan, he lifted his head and smiled at me "I take it you like that?" he said quietly. I nodded mutely, he chuckled and cupped my breasts and began to run his thumbs over my hardening nipples.

He drew his mouth forcefully to mine, his teeth nipping at my lips, I opened my mouth and I felt the tip of his tongue sweep the length of my lower lip before he began to caress my tongue with his. I gasped and pulled away slightly as the room wavered slightly "Breathe" he crooned. "Why?" I asked, the taste of him still lingering in my mouth. "Aren't you trying to make me pass out?"

He laughed huskily and nipped at my throat, just over the pulse point and murmured "Not just yet, there's a lot more I intend to do to you before I let you rest." I pushed him away gently and said "I always knew you were a tease Carlisle Cullen." He scooped me up into his arms and replied "Only with you Isabella." I giggled - fuck, since when was I a giggler? He's fucking melted my brain "Now Isabella" he said, successfully interrupting my thoughts "Which way to your bedroom?" I stared at him and then pointed vaguely in the direction of the stairs.

Five minutes and one wrong room later we were on lying down on my bed "I'm surprised you couldn't remember where my room is, given the fact you've been in here before" I told him. "Yes well that's what happens when you get a man all turned on and then expect him to be intelligent - it isn't going to happen" he replied.

"Well you don't seem very turned on now" I said as I ran my hands lightly over his chest. "Well I guess we'll just have to see about that" he said as he rolled on top of me and pinned me to the bed. He started kissing and licking down the side of my neck as I arched my body up into his. I could feel him getting harder by the second "So, are you going to continue to play games or are you going to fuck me?" I asked him. He stopped what he was doing to my neck and smirked at me "Well the former is entertaining but I have to admit the latter is more appealing right now" he replied.

He sat back so all his weight was on his legs and he was straddling me. He then began stroking me from my collarbone to my navel and back again. The sensation was fucking incredible but then his touches seemed to get lighter and lighter until I had to arch against his hand to get the touch I was craving. Then without any warning he grabbed a hold of me and swung me so that I was straddling him now.

I started to run my fingers down his chest, each time adding a bit more pressure until I was leaving red marks that streaked down the length of his chest. I ground my hips into his as I slowly made my way down his body and he let out a low growl. I couldn't help but shiver at the sound because it turned me on to no end. I trailed my fingers over the elastic of his boxers and occasionally I started to dip my fingers under the waistband to stroke the hair beneath.

"Isabella" he groaned "You're driving me crazy here." I gave him a sweet smile "Does that mean you want me to stop… or that you want me to take then off" I questioned. "Again with the latter" he told me. I hooked my fingers into the waistband again and pulled then down.

Almost as soon as I began to pull his erection sprang free and it was fucking glorious, all hard and smooth. After I dropped his boxers onto the floor I turned my attention back to his cock. I gently wrapped my hand around it and squeezed experimentally. He shivered slightly, hmm I wonder - this time I squeezed and pumped his cock up and down a few times and he moaned.

If he's like this when I touch him, I wonder what he'll be like when I suck him I wondered as I drew myself down so I was level with his cock. I held on to the middle of it with the tips of my fingers as slowly drew my tongue up the side of his shaft. He inhaled sharply and muttered a curse, I licked him again - his time harder. He lifted his hips towards me, I took the hint. I repositioned my hands at the base of his cock and placed my mouth over his tip. I swirled my tongue around some and he shuddered again slightly so I pushed him further into my mouth and began to suck.

He started to thrust his hips slowly and rhythmically so that each time I took more of him into my mouth. He groaned again, I began rubbing my legs together slightly and shivered as the sensation it caused on my sensitive flesh. I felt his hands push gently away from him, "I can't wait much longer Isabella" he murmured. I nodded in understanding and backed off slightly, he took me in his arms and rolled us over so he was on top.

"Are you protected Isabella, because if not I…" Its fine I interrupted. "I'm on the pill" I told him. He nodded his head slightly and said "You know that this may hurt a little don't you?" I nodded my head in response - yes I did know, but I also knew that it would be worth it.

He began to press himself between my legs and I groaned at the friction "Your so wet already" he groaned as he began to rub himself on my clit. I shuddered "Do you like that Isabella?" he asked. "Yes" I whispered. "Are you ready?" he asked. I nodded my head again and I felt him place himself at my entrance. He braced himself above me, took a deep breath and pushed.

"Ohhh" I said, shocked. "Are you alright?" he asked stopping. "I'm fine, it just feels nice…. Well better than nice actually" I mumbled. He laughed quietly and started to push again slowly and then drawing out again. With each gentle thrust he went further inside of me until he was in as far as he could go and I heard him groan again. "This feels amazing" he murmured. I nodded my agreement, I felt like I was full - but in a good way and parts of him were rubbing on parts of me and the friction felt incredible.

He was starting to move faster now and I lifted my legs and wrapped them around his waist tightly. I leaned forward and whispered into his ear "Harder." I felt a rush of pleasure as he drew out of me and then slammed back in to the hilt. "You like that" he whispered breathless. "Yes" I moaned as he repeated the motion.

"Are you going to cum for me Isabella" he growled into my ear. I let out a sigh of pure pleasure "Yes" I whispered. His movements were getting frantic now, he was close to cuming and so was I, it started off like an ache and it could feel it growing with every thrust. every time it just got that little bit more - I needed to come soon I felt like I was going to explode if I didn't. Oh god, nearly, nearly - oh please. "Isabella" he rasped "When I tell you, you're going to come for me." I nodded my head frantically - I couldn't take it much more. He reached down as he pounded into me and began to stroke my clit and think I screamed when he bent down again still rubbing my clit, still pounding into me and whispered "Cum" and I totally fucking did.

A/N I feel so dirty now - and I don't think any amount of washings going to get it out lol. Anyway I promised a shout out to fi - because the nipples are for you! (six feet under - pfach, look it up people) and also to let you guys know I have a twitter account so feel free to follow me Graykay87 - its funny all we do is chat about pfach, arm porn and other inappropriate things! Anyway I hope you liked the chap pleeeeease

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	24. Chapter 24 : The Good

Disclaimer; It doesn't belong to me and I don't make any money from it… so blah blah poo!

A/N Sorry for the long delay - I didn't mean to leave it this long… but stuff happens. Anyway I hope you all liked the last chapter - it was a long time coming… so to speak. Anyway - on with it.

Chapter 24 : The Good

I lost track of how many times we had sex last night - and I have to admit that when I heard people say that in the past, I always thought that they were bullshitting - but it is seriously fucking possible. Anyway the next thing I was aware of was someone gently shaking me awake. "Mmm…s'too early" I muttered and snuggled further under the bedclothes.

I heard a chuckle and then the bed dip as someone sat down beside me. Then as if a switch had been flipped in my head I was awake and aware of everything around me, including the unbelievably sexy man sitting on my left. "Ah, your finally awake" Carlisle said smiling at me. I squinted at him "You should be really grateful that I like you - because anyone else would be getting seriously fucked up for waking me" I told him.

He laughed and said "Well in that case I am eternally grateful that you like me Isabella Swan" I scowled at him for the Isabella thing before asking "Why are you dressed?" He smiled at me and replied "Because I have a job to do - its nearly lunchtime and I have to get down to the church - people pray on a Saturday Isabella, it's not just restricted to Sundays."

I rolled my eyes and muttered about stupid god worshiping Carlisle stealers. He laughed again and leaned in towards me "Now give me a kiss, so I can be on my way" he told me. I smirked at him and asked "What makes you think you deserve one." He leaned in so our faces were inches away from each other and I felt a familiar surge of lust go through me "Because you want to" he told me as he brought his mouth softly down on mine.

I lifted my arms up and wrapped them around his neck to pull him closer to me. He pushed me back down on the bed softly and brought his hands up to cup my face as he continued to kiss me. I shivered as he started to trail his fingers down my neck. I felt him smile slightly against my lips, I lifted my head up to deepen the kiss and allowed my teeth to graze his lower lip. I felt an ache begin to build between my legs - my body already demanding release from its frustrations.

I let out a groan against his lips as I tried to manoeuvre his body closer to mine. I felt him smile again as he broke the kiss and slowly pulled himself away from me. "I have to go Bella" he told me again "Now stop trying to convince me otherwise" he said with a chuckle.

I looked at him and took in his rumpled clothes, his mussed hair, the flush on his cheeks and his eyes that were darkened with what I can only guess to be desire. He really does want me as much as I want him, I thought to myself. I thought that maybe that once he'd had me that it would be enough for him.

I propped myself up on the bed and looked at him as he stood at the edge of the bed trying to smooth his rumpled clothes "I thought that last night would have gotten it out of our systems" I told him.

He stopped what he was doing and looked at me "Funny thing that" he said "We seem to have miscalculated things because I'm pretty sure we haven't finished yet."

I felt what can only be described as butterfly's in my stomach after he said that - fucking butterfly's - I was so into him right now that it had to be fucked up. He seemed to sense that something was up and he leaned down so that his face was near mine again and whispered "Tell me you want to see me again Isabella."

My heart hammered in my chest as I told him "I want to see you again." he smiled at me and stroked my hair softly "I really have to go now" he said. "I know" I told him. He took a step back "I'll talk to you later" he told me. I nodded my head "Later" I repeated. He smiled at me again and then he turned and left the room.

I waited until I heard the front door close before I slumped down in the bed and thought over all the events of the night before until I came to a conclusion. I was in love with Carlisle Cullen, a married man and a priest - someone who was honour bound not to fuck up like this… and yet? I sighed and drew the covers up over my head and groaned because this could only mean trouble and I had already had enough of that to last a lifetime.

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	25. Chapter 25: The Bad

Disclaimer; I don't own twilight - I just really wish I did

A/N Thanks for reading reviewing etc etc… Also I'm sorry for the delay - I lost my muse for a while.

Chapter 25 : The Bad

CPOV

I took another drink from the almost empty glass in my hand and glanced at the clock, it was just after five o'clock in the afternoon and I was already on my fourth glass of whisky. I had gotten my afternoon duties at the church over in record time and the second they were I had been out of there. Things were getting messy - I thought that I'd have this under control, that it wouldn't bother me anymore but it did.

I was infatuated with Isabella Swan and that was before we had slept together - now I'd say it was bordering on obsession. I kept thinking about her; how she looked, how she smelled, what it felt like to touch her. But what was worse was that had every interaction we'd ever had saved in my mind and it just kept playing over and over.

I stood up and put the glass down the table and walked over to the chair I had flung my jacket on earlier. I had heard my phone signalling a text earlier but I hadn't paid it much attention thinking it was probably Esme but it occurred to me that Bella might have tried to get in touch, I had promised to call her. At the time it had been because It had seemed an appropriate thing to say to someone you had just spent the night with - but now I genuinely did want to call her and that was further proof that this infatuation as getting out of hand.

I flipped the phone open and checked the messages, all four of which were from Esme asking me to call her and then asking why I hadn't called yet. But nothing from Bella. I tossed the phone back down on the chair and began to pace.

So where did things go from here? Did I see her again? It wasn't a question of not wanting to, merely that it was extremely unadvisable. I sighed for what must have been the hundredth time this afternoon and sat back down on the sofa and glared at the glass sitting on the table in front of me. I wanted another drink - badly, but getting drunk wasn't going to make things any clearer. I picked the glass up of the table and swirled what remained of the amber liquid around the bottom of the glass.

I downed the remaining whisky and was just debating on whether or not I should get a refill when I heard the soft click of a door closing from behind me. I turned to look behind me, half hoping to see Bella standing there. But it wasn't Bella. "I'm back" Esme told me quietly.

"Esme darling" I croaked as my throat seemed to close in on itself "I wasn't expecting you back until tomorrow evening." I stood up to greet her and she laughed lightly and walked towards me "I know, but I couldn't wait that long to see you." I stiffened slightly as she wrapped her small arms around my waist and gave me a gentle squeeze.

It took me a moment to get over the shock of her affectionate greeting to respond to the hug. "Well that's lovely darling, I missed you too" I told her as a patted her on the back gently. "Carlisle" she said as she pulled away from me "I have to talk to you about something ."

"Of course" I told her calmly as my mind began to whir into action - what did she want to talk about? Had someone saw me leave Bella's house this morning and contacted her? Had she decided she had had enough of this sham of a marriage and was leaving me?

We sat down on the sofa I had vacated just a few moments ago and she smiled at me - and I don't mean the kind that held nothing behind it. This seemed to be a true smile, one filled with warmth, love and happiness - and it was a very long time since she'd smiled at me in such a way.

"Is everything alright?" I asked her quietly while I felt my heart beginning to pound in my chest. She held my hand in hers while she looked at me in such a way I began to remember how easy it used to get lost in those eyes of hers. "I have a confession to make" she told me. "Esme…" I started but she shook her head. "Just let me finish, please Carlisle" she said softly.

I nodded at her to continue "Do you remember a few months ago before we moved here we tried to make a go of things and it seemed to work for a while" she asked. I nodded my head again, I did remember - things had been better then than they had for a good while before that and I had begun to have hope again. But then just a week or so before we moved here my wife the one I loved began to disappear again.

"When things started to get better between us I had so much hope and enthusiasm for our future together. Because for the first time in a long time I could see one…. and I got a bit careless" she said. I wasn't following "I don't understand?" I replied. She took a deep breath "I got careless with my pills" she replied. I shook my head to try and clear my thoughts and grasp what she was trying to tell me - but I couldn't because part of me really didn't want to. "I'm pregnant Carlisle" she whispered. And just like that the bottom fell out of my world.

A/N If you liked it - then pretty please review it x


	26. Chapter 26 : The in between

Disclaimer; I don't own it

A/N Okay well a huge thank you to all who reviewed the last chap - I like the fact that you liked it. I Also want to give a big shout out to FionaRhiannon who co authored this chapter with me - love you honey. And also to my new beta AutumnSong - I look forward to telling some awesome tales with you J

Chapter 26 : The In-between

CPOV

Pregnant! - Oh sweet Jesus, I could really use another drink.

EPOV

There was something wrong with my husband. I can't quite put my finger on what yet but there is something off. Ever since we arrived in Forks he has been so distant with me but, then again I suppose I have been distant with him as well. This pregnancy was the best thing that could have happened to us-a new start and finally a family of our own. I had thought that it wasn't meant to be-but God has set things right for us.

CPOV

I felt better after I had another drink and I felt ready to talk about things. I looked over to where Esme was sitting on the sofa watching me. "Are you okay dear?" She asked quietly. _Well no, not really I've just cheated on you with a teenage girl and now you've just told me that you're pregnant._ "I'm just shocked, Esme dear. This wasn't something I thought would happen for us after everything that's happened in the past with Emma and I am worried" I told her sighed softly and said,"I know this is going to be difficult for us Carlisle, but I want it to work - I really do. I know what with our...past that things are going to be hard on us but we can get through it, together. As a family." _Family?_ Could we be a family now, after everything that had happened - after everything we had done?"Is everything okay with the baby?" I said finally.

"The baby," she whispered ,"everything is perfect, absolutely perfect in fact." With those words it felt like I had been slapped back into reality - a baby!We were going to be a family. Myself, Esme and this baby and I think some part of me wanted that. The bigger question was-_What was I going to do about Bella?_

BPOV

He hadn't called. He said he would and he hadn't fucking bothered! It was Sunday night and I hadn't heard from Carlisle since he left yesterday morning. I wasn't an expert, but you'd think that when two people had a night of awesome sex and the guy says he's gonna call you he goes through with it. Apparently not in this case. make matters worse, something was clearly up because when I went to church this morning to see him and he hadn't been there. I mean hello! It was a fucking Sunday for Christ sake, what type of fucking priest isn't in church on a Sunday! I had to read the same stupid note that he'd left for everyone else to read saying that he was sorry and due to unforeseen circumstances that the days services had been cancelled. _What the fuck was going on?_ Does this usually happen when you give it up to a guy? He says he'll call, he doesn't and then he goes and fucking disappears.I really fucking need to talk to Alice-like right now-except I couldn't because Renee and Charlie were back from their "vacation" and wanted to do the whole family bonding thing over dinner at the diner. Talk about a shitty day.

Later on that evening

EPOV

"Why don't we go out - celebrate?" I suggested as I looked over to where Carlisle sat reading his book. He lifted his head up and looked at me for moment before he spoke.

"That's a lovely idea," he said, smiling slightly.

"I'll just go freshen up," I told him sweetly and I left his study, heading down the hall and into our room. A few minutes later I was stood at the sink in the en suite where splashed my face with some cold water and then gently began to pat my face dry. I took a few seconds to study my reflection on the mirror-_Not Bad_-few people would guess that I was nearing thirty four especially when you take into account that Carlisle was four years younger than me. "Esme." I heard Carlisle call as he came into the bedroom.

"Coming," I called back as I gave myself a last look in the mirror and went back out into the bedroom. My husband was in the process of changing his shirt, I watched as he discarded his old shirt a little carelessly, dropping it on the floor before making his way over to the bed and picking up the clean one that already lay there. I made my way over to him and watched as he slid the shirt on and began to do up the buttons. "Something interesting?" He said smiling slightly.

I smiled back and shook my head slightly before adding,"Just enjoying the view."

"Hmm," he said as he finished buttoning up his shirt."Does that work both ways?"I laughed as I turned to the wardrobe and pulled out a blouse and hung it on the door. I glanced over to where Carlisle still stood watching me and hooked my hands at the bottom of my top, pulling it off and allowing it to drop to the floor. I heard Carlisle chuckle slightly as he came to stand beside me.

"The view is definitely improving," he said as he bent down to kiss my shoulder softly.I smiled at him as I pulled away, grabbing the blouse off the door beside me and started putting it on."Not for much longer I'm afraid."

"Spoil sport." He muttered as placed his hand in mine.

"Flirt." I replied and we both laughed as we left the bedroom and made our way down the stairs before heading out to the car

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	27. Chapter 27: Nothing like good news

Disclaimer; Everything belongs to S.M - I'm just playing with them a little

A/N Sorry for the delay, myself and the story were having creative differences - but it's (hopefully) all behind us now. I want to give a Huge shout out to two very important people Autumn Song - my Beta - she listens to my shit and gives me inspiration. Then to the other lady in my life FionaRhiannon who also co wrote this chapter - Love you muffin (Well you and your Peter porn)

Chapter 27: There's nothing like good news

EPOV

The diner was busy tonight, but not too busy that we couldn't find a seat. We found a little table for two and Carlisle pulled my seat out for me. I was about to sit down when I heard Carlisle mutter something that sounded like "Isabella." I smiled as I realised that the table just over from ours sat our friends, the Swan's.

"Hello you too! Esme! You look wonderful! Your absolutely glowing," Renee said as she spotted us.  
"Thank you so much," I replied as we shared a hug. "You look wonderful yourself - new dress?" I saw Charlie roll his eyes and great Carlisle with a handshake as we spoke. "  
Charlie brought it me - he just doesn't know yet," she winked. I laughed with her before turning to greet Isabella.

"Isabella, how are you sweetheart?" I asked.  
"Bella and I'm fine thank you," she replied, looking down at the table cloth.  
"Why don't you join us?" Charlie asked. "That would be wonderful, thank you," I said, and we made our way to their table and sat down.

As we took care of ordering our food and drinks the conversation continued steadily. "So Carlisle, we missed you at service today," Renee said smiling slightly.  
"I'm sorry - personal reasons kept me at bay," Carlisle smiled.  
"Actually, we have some exciting news" I told them as I placed my hand on top Carlisle's.

Renee leaned into the table and I could tell she was speculating. "Were going to have a baby!" I told them excitedly. Renee clapped her hands together before standing and hugging me over the table.  
"Congratulations!" she exclaimed.

"Well congratulations Carlisle!" I heard Charlie say as they shook hands with each other again. "Isabella" Renee hissed as she sat there staring straight ahead. I didn't suppose pregnancy excited a girl of Bella's age. "Sorry - Congratulations," she mumbled, still looking at the table .  
"Thank you," I gushed as we sat back down again.

It wasn't long after that the food arrived, and Carlisle and Charlie were deep into their own conversation, Charlie talking about fatherhood, whilst myself and Renee talked about all things to do with babies and planned a shopping trip. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Isabella pushing her food around sullenly as the conversations went on around her.  
No one was really including or excluding her, she was simply there, present but not involved. I caught her eyes and smiled softly-I remembered what it was like to be that age.

She returned the smile but it seemed forced and went back to playing with her food. Maybe I could ask Isabella to accompany us - she seems like such a good girl and I would like the chance to get to know her better.

Dinner passed quickly and pretty soon Charlie was making noises about wanting an early night - much to everyone else's amusement. I looked over at Carlisle to ask if we should get going too but I could tell by his expression that he wasn't paying attention. I was about to shake his arm gently when he seemed to snap out of his daze and turned to look at Isabella in thoughtful manner.

For a second Isabella looked up at him, held his gaze and looked back down at her now empty place setting.

I cant quite explain it - but something about that look make me decidedly uncomfortable, I snaked my hand up Carlisle's back and rested it on his shoulder, pulling him lightly towards me as I kissed him softly on the cheek.

"Everything ok dear?" He asked turning to look at me.  
"Yes fine - but Charlie wants to get going and I think we should to, I'm feeling a little tired" I replied.  
He smiled, looked over at Charlie and said, "Maybe we could catch up again another night?"  
"That sounds like a great idea!" Renee replied, enthusiastically.

"Yes, how about a dinner party at our house," I suggested.  
"That's a lovely idea darling," Carlisle replied as our party stood up and began to put on their jackets.  
"I'll call you later to arrange everything," I told Renee as we hugged before leaving the diner and making our way out to the car.  
"Goodbye Isabella."

She opened her mouth to say something but Renee glared at her and the girl simply said goodbye softly.

The car ride home was a quiet one - I knew Carlisle obviously had something on his mind so I let him be as my mind drifted back to the dinner we had just shared with the Swan's. Was it my imagination or did Isabella seem very tense tonight? I recalled Renee mentioning that she had been a little more withdrawn than usual lately. It was a hard age, eighteen. Perhaps it had something to do with boys...I would ask about it later I decided. Maybe we could both offer her some advice on whatever was troubling her when they come over for dinner or we go shopping together? Yes, it was settled I would try then. What eighteen year girl could say no to shopping? The rest of the journey home was spent contemplating ideas for the upcoming dinner party.

As we entered the house I glanced at the clock in the hallway - 9.38pm. It occurred to me then that it wasn't that late but I was beginning to feel very tired as the events of the day began to catch up with me, that and the pregnancy. The thought alone made me grin.  
I turned to ask Carlisle what he was planning to do with the rest of the evening when I realised he was no longer behind me. Instead he was standing by the door with his arms crossed and was looking at me with a less than pleased expression on his face.

"What was that?" He asked.  
"I'm sorry?" I replied.  
"Why did you tell them about the baby?" he said raising his voice slightly.  
"Carlisle, I'm pregnant. People will notice soon - why not share it with our friends?" I was baffled as to why he would have a problem with this.

"I know, but its still early, I didn't want anyone to know yet," he sighed before continuing, "And I would have preferred it if you had at least discussed it with me first."  
I smiled at him softly. "Carlisle, everything will be fine! don't worry about it," I said as I walked to him and began to rub his arms. He sighed deeply, extracting himself from my grasp.

"Esme, how is our relationship supposed to work if you don't discuss things with me first," he stressed.  
"But I do discuss things with you" I replied.  
"No, You discuss curtains, pictures and bloody flowers with me," he shouted. "But we talk about other things too," I told him.

"You don't see it do you?"  
"See what, love. We have a wonderful and now we're being blessed with a baby. I don't understand what there is to see."  
He let out another sigh. "Look," he said, "I can't discuss this with you now - because quite frankly I don't have the patients to deal with this at the moment. I'm going to bed now, goodnight."

And with that he walked past me and went upstairs, while leaving me to wonder what exactly had I had done wrong this time.

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	28. Chapter 28 : A better perspective

Disclaimer; I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters - although I have to admit the idea of owning Carlisle….

A/N Thanks for the continued support and reviews ect - I really love it and it helps me be all creative. I also need to do a big shout out to my beta AutumnSong - Love you honey - and your porn, I knew we'd work well together! ;)

Chapter 28 : A better perspective

BPOV

You hear stories about people who are in accidents and by some miracle they manage to walk away from it without a scratch on them - only to then end up dying hours later when their body finally registers the shock. I always thought it was bullshit - I really fucking did, until now.

I felt like I was dying, my heart was racing so much that I thought it was going to burst out of my chest at any second_. Too young to die this way Bella._ I felt cold, dizzy and fucking breathing was suddenly a monumental task. This was a delayed reaction if ever there was one. I was confused, fucking pissed and…surprisingly hurt. How was one supposed to act when they found out the guy they gave it up to went and got his wife knocked up?

I wasn't sure but I'm pretty sure it involved a key, gouging and a certain expensive Mercedes' paint job.

Right now I couldn't fucking decide who I hated more - her, the fucking saintly if not seriously delusional Stepford wife or him the adulterous scumbag, who has probably charmed the panties off every woman he's ever smiled at.

Bastard, my mind screamed but another part of me (a much smaller part) whispered that I knew what I was getting into. I wanted to drown her.

I'm seriously amazed I managed to keep my cool at dinner - but I suppose it's like the accident thing and as soon as I got out of the diner and the fresh air hit me - so did everything else. The worse part of this fuck up mess was that I started crying like a fucking baby right there in the parking lot. It was a miracle Renee and Charlie didn't notice.

The second we got home I ran up to my room because if I heard Renee talking about fucking baby showers and how amazing it all was I was going to puke or punch someone. I had texted Alice on the way home and she said she was going to be over ASAP. I seriously hoped so because I needed someone right the fuck now. She was my only option.

CPOV

Out of all the things that I could have predicted that would happen with my life - this is the last thing I ever thought that would happen. Not just because I never imagined myself getting into a sexual relationship with someone fourteen years my junior but because I never considered I'd be the type of man to cheat on his wife.

I sighed and turned to look out of the window again. Night had fallen over an hour ago while I had sat in my office and tried in vain to find a way out of this situation. But so far I had yet to come up with anything resembling a solution.

How had I managed to dig myself this deep? I admired Bella, she was a beautiful, intelligent and fiery young woman but I also held a great deal of love and admiration for my wife.

The past few years had been hard on us , we had both changed in our own ways but this baby could bring us together again. Was it foolish to hope that a baby could fix problems? Perhaps, but part of me wants this so badly and I've spent so long hoping to get back the woman I married. I just never foresaw the complication of Bella - and I certainly never expected to care for her.

Whatever decision I made I knew someone was going to get hurt…quietly possibly all three of us, well, four if you count the baby. I was interrupted from my thoughts by the buzzing of my cell phone on the desk. I turned and picked up the cell phone. One unread message, I opened it and frowned.

From Isabella Swan

We need 2 talk!

Yes we did, but that conversation wasn't one I was particularly looking forward to. Would she throw things, cry, yell? Could I watch her cry and know I was the one to blame? I was just about to reply when there was a gentle tap on the door. Esme. I snapped the phone closed and placed it back on the desk before calling out to her.

"Come in."

The door opened and she popped her head around to look at me, a nervous smile on her lips. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I know I'm not an ideal wife - but I promise I'll try harder."

I felt the guilt begin to bloom in my chest. I had been too hard on her. What kind of man resents his wife for wanting to share the news of parenthood with friends? An adulterous one. It wasn't fair - she didn't know what I had done or the consequences of her words. She was excited.

I smiled at her and beckoned her further into the room. "I'm sorry too," I told her. "I was too hard on you, I was stressed and it wasn't fair of me to take that out on you."

She smiled at me again as she walked around the desk and came to stand in front of me.

"It's okay darling," she replied, cupping my cheek. "We just have to communicate better - we've lost that you and I, we used to talk all the time. With practice it'll come back." I nodded my head in agreement - we had become distant, hell half of the time we had barely been friends.

She leaned down so her face was just inches from my own and whispered, "How about we work on that communication problem now?" I was confused - did this mean she wanted to try and talk again? I opened my mouth to ask her what she wanted to discuss when she suddenly closed the remaining distance between us and placed her lips firmly against my own.

I was surprised by the suddenness of her kiss but I quickly found myself leaning into it. I felt her begin to gently bite at my lower lip as she wound her hands into my hair. I felt myself getting aroused by her sweet kisses and the brushing of her fingers through my hair and on my neck.

After a moment or two she withdrew her mouth from mine and instead placed it beside my ear and whispered to me softly, "Come to bed with me Carlisle."

I placed my hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her away so I could see her face properly. "Is this what you want? - I mean really want, because I don't want to feel like you have to do this Esme darling - I've already forgiven you about earlier." I told her earnestly.

She drew herself further away from me and stood up slowly. I looked up at her while she looked down at me with a soft smile on her lips. "I know," she whispered and then she held her hand out to me and said in a stronger voice, "Come to bed with me Carlisle."

She wanted this and so did I. I took her hand and stood up from the chair and allowed her to lead me from the room. Just before I closed the door of my study behind us, I speared a quick glance at my desk to where my phone lay. _Isabella._ I would deal with things in the morning. I would have a better perspective then.

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	29. Chapter 29: No problem at all

Disclaimer; Twilight isn't mine and I'm not making any money from writing this story.

A/N A big thank you to all my lovely readers - I hope I'm keeping you suitably entertained - and thank you to my reviewers - you got me to the 150 mark - love you guy's so much!

Chapter 29 : No problem at all

BPOV

_Fucking typical._ I looked at the clock again, it was nearly eleven and Alice still hadn't got her skinny ass over to my house yet—so much for her coming over "ASAP". My ass ASAP because that was nearly two hours ago and to make matters worse it had been nearly an hour since I had text Carlisle and he still hadn't replied. Fuckers, the both of them

I looked down at the note pad that lay on my lap. To anyone else it wouldn't look like much—just a bunch of random scribbles and sombre words—but to me it was the world, it was my lifeline and it kept me sane. Ever since I was a kid I had a talent for imagining things and when I got older it spread into writing—but I never let anyone read it. It's my personal shit and I only once I let Alice have a look. That hadn't gone too well, she just cried her fucking eyes out the entire time. Some things are better kept private.

_Where can I start?_

_Everything's just falling apart_

_How about the way you make me crazy_

_Or the way you make me mad?_

_Is it just me, or were things always this bad?_

_I feel like I'm lost and there's no way back_

_All I want to do is attack._

_Sometimes I feel like none of this is real, so then it's no big deal._

_But it's my life - which is why it causes me so much fucking strife!_

I was debating on whether or not I should add a few more lines when I heard Alice's voice coming from down the hall so I bent down and shoved my notebook under the bed and resumed my position on the bed. Seconds later Alice walked into my room with her phone pressed to her ear.

"Yes Jazzy, love you too - bye!" She chirped as she closed her phone and slipped it back into her purse and flopping down on the bed beside me. "So what's the crack, whore?" She asked.

I rolled my eyes and replied, "Well I'm fucking glad you're not dead for a start! What does ASAP mean to you?"

"Okay okay, so I'm a little bit late," she said as she rolled onto her back, "but mom was having a crises and she needed my help - I have to earn my AMX somehow." I rolled my eyes at her again and slumped down on the bed.

"Life's shit Ally" I told her. She looked up at me from her place on the bed and pouted before replying "Uh oh, someone's panties are all in a knot again, spill it sister."

I sighed and slid further down the bed and muttered "Esme Cullen's pregnant."

Alice jerked up into a sitting position and stared at me before she replied, "What the fuck? Seriously you're shitting me right?"

I stared at her in complete fucking amazement before I snapped out, "Yeah cuz this is what I'd call prime time entertainment - fuck Alice, not even I'm this messed up." She seemed to realize that I was serious because she suddenly dived on me and was squeezing the life out of me while saying, "I'm so sorry Bell, I really am."

I patted her on the back awkwardly and muttered, "Yep me too."

She pulled away suddenly and shouted "I can't believe that fucking prick, he had sex with you - took your fucking virginity and it turns out his wife's pregnant!"

I felt like she had punched me in the stomach - had he known about the pregnancy before we slept together? Would he really do that to me? "You think he knew?" I asked her.

Alice smiled sadly and patted me on the leg before replying, "I wouldn't be surprised, now we just have to figure out what were going to do about it."

And that was a good question - what was I going to do about it?

EPOV

I couldn't help but smile when I woke up this morning - wrapped in my husbands arms with the sun shining through the window and a baby in my womb. It was like all my dreams were coming true. I glanced over at the clock and noticed that it was nearly six thirty in the morning and that Carlisle would be getting up soon. I carefully manoeuvred myself from his arms and slid out of the bed, only pausing to put my dressing gown on as I made my way downstairs to fix his breakfast for him.

It was about 25 minutes later when I was just putting the finishing touches to breakfast when I felt hands slide around my waist and a pair of lips close to my ear. "Hmmm, breakfast," he murmured. "I would have preferred it in bed though." He added with a chuckle.

I laughed softly and turned and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "I bet you would," I replied winking. He pulled away smiling and went and sat down at the kitchen table. "So what are your plans this morning honey?" I asked as I poured the coffee.

"Well, I have to go to the church and take the morning mass, followed by a few errands and then I have an afternoon session at the school."

"Sounds like another busy day," I commented as placed his coffee down beside him. I was just about to take my seat when the doorbell sounded.

I looked over at Carlisle who seemed as surprised as I was to have company at this time in the morning. "I'll get it," I told him, "Just enjoy your breakfast while it's still hot." I left the kitchen and made my way down the hall towards the front door - still puzzled at who it could be.

The doorbell sounded again. "Just a second," I called as I undid the lock on the door and pulled it open.

"Isabella," I said startled, "This is a surprise, what can I do for you this morning?"

She smiled at me and replied, "Well I was on my way to school and I thought I'd drop by because I really need to talk to you about something…if that's alright?"

I smiled at her, such a sweet girl. My curiosity was piqued, what could she want to talk to me about? "Of course it is. We were just having breakfast if you'd like to come in and join us?"

She gave me another bright smile and replied, "That would be really great thanks."

"It's no problem, just go straight through - we're in the kitchen," I replied as I drew back and let her into the house and closed the door again as she walked through into the hall.

BPOV

Yes no problem at all, I thought with grim satisfaction.

A/N And also a huge thank you to my awesome beta Autumn Song - I'm so sorry I made you swear at me but I just couldn't help myself ;)

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	30. Chapter 30 : Dangerous games

Disclaimer; Twilight isn't mine I'm afraid - I just borrowed it for a bit

A/N A big thank you to all who reviewed and helped me get past the 160 mark - I love you all! Also a huge shout out to my awesome beta Autumn Song - I couldn't have done this without you!

Chapter 30 : Dangerous games

CPOV

I can't recall how long it's been since I woke up and just felt happy but that's how I felt this morning. I finally felt that the future held some hope for me—and for us as a family.

I was sitting at the table, eating the breakfast that Esme lovingly made for me wondering when she would be coming back so that we could make the most of our time together before I had to go out.

I heard the sound of muffled voices in the hallway just as the kitchen door opened and Esme walked into the kitchen.

"Who was at the door?" I asked her as she put another cup onto the table and filled it with coffee.

She looked at me and smiled then glanced over to the door behind me and said "Come on in dear, we don't bite - I promise."

I smiled at her attempts to make our guest comfortable and then turned to offer my own greeting and froze.

Standing in the doorway and looking lovelier than she had right to stood Isabella Swan. "Isabella," I choked out –while inwardly thinking of all the possible escape routes if this ended badly. Window? No, no good. Rose bushes underneath. Damn it!

"Mr Cullen," she chirped, "Good morning, I hope you don't mind but I just wanted to call round to see Esme for a quick chat."

Three things about this seriously bothered me; the first being, what the hell she wanted to talk to Esme about. The second, why was she so chirpy, as far as I was aware Isabella didn't do chirpy. She despised chirpy. Then the third—and possibly as equally disturbing as the first—she called me Mr. Cullen and I liked it.

"Isn't that nice dear," Esme commented, cheerfully.

Unexpected but nice.

Did this mean that I was still attracted to her? Don't be stupid, of course you're still attracted to her - that's the whole problem. You can't exactly play happy family's with Esme when you've tasted the forbidden fruit and want more of it.

"Carlisle?" Esme called.

"Yes sorry dear, what is it?" I asked her. She laughed and rolled her eyes at Isabella before she replied, "I said have you finished with your breakfast yet?" I glanced down at the half eaten food in front of me and nodded my head.

"Yes thank you dear, I'm sorry I couldn't eat it all - I'm just a bit distracted this morning," I told her.

She smiled at me fondly before she came and picked my plate up and carried it over to the sink. I glanced over at Isabella, who was just lowering herself into the seat beside me at the table.

"So Mr. Cullen, how's your day looking so far?" Isabella asked.

Disastrous, I thought to myself. "I'd say that it's looking interesting," I told her, while wondering why she kept calling me Mr. Cullen. I thought we had this conversation already? Was she trying to show me she was still interested in continuing things? Or was she trying to show me that she had no interest in doing anything I asked of her?

Isabella smiled and I felt my lips tugging to return it, almost did until I recalled where I was sitting-in my kitchen with Isabella, my pregnant wife and this secret that seemed to occupy the space between the three of us.

"Well," Esme said as she joined us at the table. "This is nice isn't it? It's not often we get company in a morning." Actually I have to say that this has to be one of the most awkward experiences of my life to date.

"Have you eaten Isabella?"

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen—

"Oh please call me Esme, dear."

"Ok, Esme… I had a pop tart before leaving the house this morning, how sweet of you to ask."

I frowned at her; this sugary act was scaring me. This was her, I knew her and the girl I knew would give two flying fucks if Esme cared about her eating breakfast.

"That's not breakfast," Esme tutted before turning to me, with mild al "Carlisle, tell her that not a good breakfast."

Haha, I will do no such thing.

"Well, everyone likes what they like dear."

"I suppose but it's doesn't seem like much." Isabella made a face and Esme was quick to smooth it over, "Sorry dear, I guess the maternal instincts are kicking in already."

"It's fine Mrs. Cullen."

I watched Isabella carefully as Esme gushed about being expecting; she looked like she was going to be sick. For a second something flashed in her eyes and I honestly feared she would say something about the two of us.

Unable to stand the awkward one person conversation I stood up from the table. "Well, I have to be going—I have things to do this morning." I gave Esme a kiss on the cheek and walked towards the hall before pausing. "Actually Isabella before I forget," I said, "may I have a quick word before I go?"

She smiled and stood up before adding, "Of course, you don't mind do you Esme?"

My wife laughed and waved us off. "Of course not—besides it'll give me a few minutes to get the kitchen in order again."

I gave her a small smile before I turned and made my way down the hall and into the living room, with Isabella following closely behind.

I waited until she closed the door behind us before I rounded on her. "Just what the hell do you think you're playing at?" I whispered harshly. She looked at me innocently.

"Playing at?" she asked "I'm not playing at anything - you on the other hand I'm not so sure about."

Exasperating girl!

"Look," I said closing the distance between us, "whatever it is –it stops now, do you understand me?"

She smiled at me and placed a hand on my chest before replying, "What's it worth?"

I looked at her in total confusion, was she blackmailing me? "I don't understand," I told her.

She rolled her eyes before applying more pressure to the hand that was on my chest and said, "Well, it seems to me that you need something from me and for that to happen I need something from you."

I felt my heart start to sink in my chest - she was going to blackmail me. What was going to ask for money? No, she wasn't that way. "And what is it you want?" I asked her slowly.

She slid her hand slowly up my chest and onto the base of my neck before she replied. "Well - I want things to go back to the way they were - I liked it then, it was fun and the wifey never has to know about it."

I was shocked to say the least; she wanted to have an affair with me –even after all that had happened?

"I'm not sure if I can do that," I told her. She scowled—there was the girl I knew—and tightened her grip on my neck slightly.

"Why, because Esme's pregnant—I thought you didn't love her, what difference is a baby going to make?"

I sighed, "It's not as simple as that," I told her. She began stroking my hair softly, I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel good.

"But it is," she whispered, "I want you and you want me, can't we just embrace it?" I felt her press herself against me and I fought not to groan.

"Isabella, this is wrong," I told her.

She placed her face close to my ear and laughed softly before whispering, "I know that but it doesn't stop it from _feeling_ right."

I pushed her away from me and took a step back and asked, "How is this going to work exactly?" My mind screamed at me that I was a fool.

"Well," she said cocking her head to the side slightly, "I was kind of hoping that we'd have a little counselling session this afternoon, where could punish me for being a bad girl for calling you Mr. Cullen three times now…"

I felt myself harden as I listened to her tell me all the things she wanted with a promise in her eye and I knew that if I wanted it, she would give it. But is this really what I wanted? I needed to think, I needed to be away from Esme and the baby talk and more importantly I needed to be away from this temptress and her promises of pleasure.

"Mr. Cullen, I'm waitin—."

Bluff! My mind whispered to me.

"I have to go," I said abruptly stopping her in mid sentence, "and if I want you then I'll find you–now go and see Esme and talk about whatever you wanted to say. But rest assured if you cause any trouble or say anything you shouldn't, you _will _regret it."

And with that I turned and left the room stopping only to grab my jacket and keys before I fled the house hoping that she wouldn't come to her senses catch up to me.

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	31. Chapter 31: Where we belong

Disclaimer; I don't own Twilight

A/N A big thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing my story you got me past the 170 mark! I also Want to give a huge thank you to my beta AutumSong - who writes the amazing 'April in Paris' - I love you honey, thank you so much for your help and patience. And also to my wifey FionaRhiannon who writes 'How to heal what's never been whole' - which I beta for her by the way ;) … now enjoy!

Chapter 31: Where we belong

CPOV

All morning I could not escape the uneasy feeling that lingered in my mind. Never have I been so conflicted in my life. I was tempted to call myself a fool and be done with it—to rush home and confess everything to Esme, await my punishment. This was a dangerous situation I had gotten myself into, freeing myself this would not be simple. But then there was the other part of my mind that whispered a devious idea—I could have the best of both worlds. I was attracted to both women; both offered me things I needed. Why not have them both?

I shook my head as if it would banish the thought—but it was still there tempting me. It was wrong, I knew it was but I couldn't help but wonder.

I had spent the morning fulfilling my duties as reverend as well as organizing the services for the coming week. Purely busy work, I was looking for any excuse to keep me here where I was safe and away from the school.

_From Esme_

_How about coming home for lunch today dear?_

I slumped back in my chair as I mulled over the various possibilities I had to occupy my time and the answer I came up with was—very little. Aside from my duties at the school I had completed virtually all of my other tasks for the day – and tomorrow as well.

I let out a sigh before sitting back up and picking my phone up off the desk and keyed in a quick response;

_From Carlisle_

_Sure darling, I'm on my way now_

_x_

EPOV

I smiled at Carlisle's message—things were going to work out just fine. I reread my husband's words once more before closing the text to search through my contacts for the number I needed.

"Hello Forks High School, Rebecca speaking - How may I help you?"

"Hi Rebecca, its Esme Cullen here" I replied.

"Oh hello Esme, I understand congratulations are in order."

I let out a pleased laugh, news spread quickly in this town. "Thank you," I replied. "Listen, I'm sorry about this - but I recalled that I have a doctor's appointment and I'd really like it if Carlisle could go with me."

"That's no problem," she replied. "I'll just leave a little note with the boss and its all sorted."

"Thank you so much, I—we really appreciate it Rebecca," I told her.

"I'm glad I could help Esme," she replied.

"I'll see you around," I said ending the conversation.

I placed the phone back on the table and smiled to myself, everything was beginning to work out just as I hoped it would. I glanced at the clock—it was noon and Carlisle would be home soon. Thankfully I had just enough time to run upstairs and slip into something a little sexier. I was half way up the stairs when the phone started to ring.

CPOV

"Esme!" I called as I entered the house and made my way towards the kitchen. I stuck my head around the door—empty. I went and did the same with the dining room and the lounge—no luck.

I let out a frustrated sigh; I didn't really have the patience for these types of games this afternoon. The last thing I wanted was to play some idiotic game of hide and seek. "Esme honey," I called again as I made my way upstairs. Where was she? I stopped briefly to glance in the guest rooms, in case she was tidying again before making my way towards our bedroom.

I walked into the room expecting to find her napping on the bed or reading but instead I found the room to be empty and in complete darkness. I looked over to where she had obviously pulled the curtains closed and wondered perhaps if she was ill?

I turned to make my way back out of the room to find myself shoved roughly backwards towards the bed. What the hell I thought as I stumbled back and landed with thump on the bed.

I watched as the door to the bedroom closed and out from the shadows sauntered my own personal demon, Isabella Swan.

I watched in shock as she made her way over to the bed where I was currently sprawled, wearing little more than a piece of black net and smiled down at me.

"Hey honey…rough day at work?" She purred.

"What the hell are you doing here" I asked, sitting up and wondering how she even got inside the house.

She smirked and climbed onto the bed, seductively. "I'm here for lunch, and I have to say Carlisle…I'm starving," she whispered.

I stared at her dumbstruck. It wasn't until she was straddling my lap that my commonsense kicked in. "Bella, this is my house - what the hell do you think you're playing at?"

She chucked softly before pushing my firmly back down onto the bed. "Don't worry," she whispered, "the _wifey_ had to go out for a while and before she did -she quite helpfully called in sick for you at the school."

She began to move her hips so that her pelvis ground slowly against mine and I had to bite back a groan. This was wrong and it was dangerous, Esme could be back at anytime. And yet you still want her, my mind whispered. "Isabella," I ground out "I really don't think that this is appropriate now, do you?"

BPOV

"_I really don't think that this is appropriate now, do you?"_

I felt a surge of anger at his words - appropriate? Seriously, who the fuck was he kidding? It was alright for him to do this to me in my own house, but when the tables were turned - it wasn't fucking appropriate! We'd soon see about that.

I smiled at him as I ground myself against him harder than before, the muscle in his jaw twitched like the one between his legs. I lowered my head down towards his and whispered, "But appropriate can mean so many things."

I pressed my nose against the soft skin of his neck and drew in a deep breath. I loved the smell of him, he always smelled so fresh and crisp. It made my mouth water and I wanted to taste him.

"Bella, you have to stop," he muttered.

Really - I had to huh? Well we'd see about that wouldn't we? I sat back and placed my hands on his chest before I began to slowly push myself down his body until I was eye level with his belt buckle.

I began to undo his belt and the zipper of his trousers before he began to protest - very weakly, I might add. Well baby, if this is such a bad thing for you then get your ass of the bed and stop me. I gave his pants a sharp tug and they slid down to the top of his legs.

I could see him clearly now—how hard he was, how much he wanted me and it was fucking amazing. The control I had over him, the sense of power it gave me had me teetering on the edge. I knew that if he so much as touched between my legs I'd cum quicker than a fat chick at an ice cream bar.

"Commando Carlisle, really? Now that is a nice surprise," I told him, my fingers raking over his upper thighs.

"Please Bella," he begged softly

"Please Bella what?" I asked mockingly

"Don't do it," he said.

"Too late," I smiled and whispered before I lowered my head and placed the sensitive head of his cock into my mouth and licked it. He groaned loudly. Another rush of power coursed through me.

I knew it would come to this, that he wouldn't be able to refuse me—baby or not, I would have him. Correction—I had him. I smiled to myself as I took more of his rock hard erection into my mouth. He was so delicious.

I listened to him groan again before I stopped and looked up at him. "You see," I said, "it doesn't do well to say no—does it? I fucking own you, just like you own me and no baby… or wife for that matter is going to come between whatever the fuck this is."

He stared at me, his face a mixture of anger and surprise. Then before I had time to realize what was going on he sprang forward and grabbed my by the arms and pinned me down onto the bed. "You really want to do this, to play this fucked up little game," he snarled, turning me on even more than before. "This is my life you're talking about fucking with Isabella."

I felt a thrill of fear run down my spine at the rage on his face and the desire that was in his eyes. Even now, when he was shouting at me about our fucked up game he was still hard and I was still wet. It didn't change a fucking thing because he still wanted me.

I smirked and rolled my eyes at him before replying. "You started it."

He growled and pressed his face close to mine and replied, "And you're determined to finish it."

Exactly, and I would. I closed the remaining space between us and crushed my lips against his. I felt him debate for a second before he opened his mouth and nipped at my lip with his teeth. I groaned and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my fingers in his hair.

"Tell me something Isabella," he murmured as he removed his mouth from mine. "Why is it you have no underwear on underneath this net thing, only whores don't wear underwear? Are you a whore Isabella?"

I felt my heartbeat start to accelerate as I thought over his words before deciding upon "Only where you're concerned _Carlisle_."

He smiled down at me before whispering, "Good girl."

He started to nip at my neck again as his hand made its way down in between our bodies to the junction between my thighs. I thought I was going to loose it when he started to rub me with his fingers.

"So wet and ready aren't you," he crooned. I couldn't help it; I thrust my hips towards his fingers—desperate for more of his touch. I fucking needed him. I felt him chuckle quietly against my neck before I gave in and shouted my frustration.

"Fuck me!"

He muttered something that sounded like a curse before he positioned himself at my entrance and plunged into me…and then it was done, it was like coming home—this was where we fucking belonged. Like this, together. I would make him see it, even if he didn't want to.

He was mine.

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	32. Chapter 32 : Setting the scene

Disclaimer; I don't own Twilight - I just use it from time to time

A/N My lovely readers - I know my chapters aren't usually long and my updates sporadic - but I promise you that your patience will be rewarded - because things are about to bet interesting *rubs hands together with glee* so this is just a brief chapter setting the scene and the real chapter will be posted in the next day or so.

By the way - it was brought to my attention that a so called "writer" on this site attempted to plagiarise lunit - and did a rather poor job of it too - well to you I say, I'm very flattered that you like my story - but this is my fucked up fantasy, so get your own!

Chapter 32 : Setting the scene

EPOV

A good wife knows when something's bothering her husband and I knew something was wrong with Carlisle. Ever since Monday when I got called away to visit one of the women on the church board Betty Simmons, she hadn't been feeling to well of late and with no family near by had called be to help her out with some shopping.

Was he feeling upset that I had called him home only to be gone when he got there? He had been unsettled and distracted all week. And he was slacking in his duties at the church - that wasn't the Carlisle I knew. I was determined that after the service today - I would have it out with him, I would convince him to tell me exactly what was wrong.

CPOV

It had been five days since I had last set eyes on Isabella Swan. And I have to say that part of me was exceptionally pleased, my cock however hated me for that. But after Mondays escapades - I was beginning to see just how dangerous little Isabella really was.

So after five day of continuous excuses on why I couldn't attend to my duties at the school and not staying at the church longer than I had to, my time had run out because today was Sunday and I had a service to preside over.

BPOV

When Alice told me to go after what I wanted - I had no idea that it would be this hard to get, or as satisfying when I did. Because Monday was fucking epic - I thought my birthday was hot, but that - the way I just fucking took control - that was fucking incredible.

The downside though? Ever since then Carlisle had been a slippery bastard - he was never where he was supposed to be and that pissed me off. What the hell happened to the strong, confident and sexy Carlisle that had wanted to fuck me three ways from Sunday?

"Bella, we're leaving for church now" Renee yelled from downstairs.

I wanted my Carlisle back, not this pathetic excuse for a man that I had witnessed recently. I rolled off the bed and made my way downstairs to the car, I guess I'd just have to show him that I meant business.


	33. Chapter 33: A lesson in morals

Disclaimer; As usual Twilight doesn't belong to me… although I must admit the idea of owning Carlisle… and Charlie *grins*… it would be pretty epic!

A/N Well a huge thank you to all my reviewer's that have gotten me up to an incredible 224! And for all you guys who are reading and making it a favourite. I really hope you guys like this chap - cuz it's been a while in coming! And also a big shout out to my lovely beta AutumnSong who did this chap even though she's sick! Enjoy!

Chapter 33 : A lesson in morals

CPOV

I felt a certain sense of anticipation as I went about my duties before the service. I knew that Isabella and her parents would be attending—as well as a good portion of the rest of the town. But Esme would be there too. My poor Esme.

After Mondays events I couldn't help but feel like the worst possible filth alive. I had cheated on my wife again! My pregnant wife.

Finally after all the necessary preparations had been made, I quietly retreated to the priest's chamber to put on my robes and attempt to relax before mass began. I thanked God for the precious time he'd given me to think on everything properly for the first time all week.

I knew I would have to put this horrible matter to rest as soon as I could because she deserved better than this. She deserved a husband that she could rely upon and not the opportunistic pig I'd become. I would end things with Isabella –and would work on my marriage to Esme and be the best father I could to our child.

I'm not quite sure how long I sat there thinking about my missteps but the next thing I knew someone clearing their throat softly from behind me. I turned around to find one of the altar boys, Ben, standing there.

"It's time for the service to start father Cullen," he said quietly

I shook my head, trying to shake off the mental cobwebs that seemed to linger there and smiled at him.

"Thank you Ben," I replied as I got up from the chair and stretched before walking through the door and into the hall.

As I made my way to the front of the hall, silence had descended upon its occupants. When I first started leading services years ago—I was always secretly thrilled by the level of influence I held while in ceremonial dress.

"Good morning to you all," I called out to the room as I came to a stop and faced the crowd of Sunday morning worshipers. "I trust you all have had a safe and enjoyable weekend so far," I continued whilst listening to the murmurs of agreement.

"Today's sermon is going to be about repentance and remorse. Now, what is the difference between regret and repent?" I asked looking around at the faces in the hall, while wondering where the object of my remorse was.

I let my eyes wander the room as I continued to speak. "When we have sinned, we must repent. It's easy to feel bad. It is human nature to regret our sins, to feel remorseful. All of these things are good, but they aren't enough. In order to change our ways we must change our thinking and act on it!"

I spotted the Swan's on the sixth row from the back, but to my surprise it was just Charlie and Renee Swan—no Isabella in sight. I allowed myself a small smile of satisfaction; perhaps she'd given up this silly obsession of hers with me and moved on to some other poor bastard.

I continued my sweep of the room when it occurred to me that in my search for Isabella, I had yet to spot Esme. Usually she sat in the front row with a few other women. But as I did another quick re-sweep, I was certain she wasn't there. This wasn't good.

It was one thing if Bella wasn't here … but if both Esme _and _Bella were absent - that could not mean anything good.

EPOV

Until I met and married Carlisle Cullen, I have to admit that had never been much of an avid church goer. Obviously all that had changed after our marriage—after all as the wife of a priest, I was duty bound to set a good example for all those who attended our church.

Over the years I had become accustom to people confiding in me, or asking for advice and I was grateful for the trust that they placed in me. So it came as no surprise to me that this Sunday I was approached by Isabella Swan seeking some advice.

I had noticed over the past couple of weeks that she seemed very withdrawn and according to Renee, that was uncommon.

So here we were, sitting in the back room of the church where Carlisle usually heard the confessions, just the two of us.

"So Isabella," I said taking a seat on one of the benches, "what is it you want to talk to me about?"

"Well it's kinda weird really," she said as she sat down beside me. "I like this guy, and I know that he likes me back but he keeps going so hot and cold, yunno? It's just confusing the hell out of me."

Ah Boys, now that was something I could help her with. I could recall perfectly well what it was like at Isabella's age.

I smiled over at her before gently patting her on the knee. "Isabella," I told her, "if this boy really is the one for you, then sooner or later he will notice it and decide to stop playing these games with you."

She looked hopeful, "You really think so?"

"Yes I do," I told her confidently

"Is…is that how you and...Mr. Cullen got together?" She asked hesitantly, a beautiful pink tinge staining her cheeks.

"Carlisle and I were very much meant to be," I replied.

"How do you know that?"

"Because the first time I met him, I just knew in my heart that he was the one." I said softly, recalling the memory fondly.

CPOV

By the time I managed to wrap the service up, I was beginning to panic. I could count the number of times that Esme had missed a Sunday service in the past six years on one hand. It simply wasn't like her. And the fact that Isabella was missing as well—it only made me worry more. As people began to drift out I found myself approaching a group of women that I knew Esme had spoken to in the past.

They were currently standing in a group by the doors, discussing something in hushed voices. As I made my approach, I cleared my throat loudly. If the situation had been different, then I would have been amused by the comical looks of surprise on their faces as they turned to look at me.

"Ladies," I greeted politely.

They visibly straightened and began with the usual simpering of "Reverend" or "Carlisle".

I smiled tightly before replying, "I was wondering if any of you have seen my wife around by any chance?" I tried not to scowl as they once again merged together and began to whisper amongst themselves for a few minutes before giving me an answer.

"Yes," replied a short, stout woman with white hair, "I saw her go into the confessional room with the Swan girl before the ceremony started."

I felt the panic rush in and wrap itself around my heart like a vice.

"Excuse me." I told them curtly before making my way to the back room as quickly as I could, without drawing too much suspicion on myself.

This was it, I'm sure it is—I thought as I stood outside the door that hid my fate. That little witch will have told her everything. My life, my marriage, my career—it'll all be gone.

I took a breath as I opened the door and walked into the room.

I'm not exactly sure what I expected to see—Esme crying and swearing to never talk to me again, Isabella lying unconscious on the floor while Esme slowly choked the life out of her, perhaps.

What I didn't expect was to see the two of them sitting together and laughing like a couple of schoolgirls. I'm not sure how long I stood there staring but soon Esme and the witch had both realized that I was in the room and had turned to look at me.

"Carlisle darling," Esme said brightly, while standing up to greet me. "Is the service over already? I didn't realize it had been so long—we got a bit carried away chatting."

I'll just bet you did I thought darkly as I glanced over at the witch in question, who was at this moment sauntering over, with a little smirk on her face to join us.

"Hey Mr. Cullen, me and Esme have been having a _chat_—she's really helped me out a lot." She said.

To my shame I couldn't prevent the small twitch my cock gave at her referring to me as _Mr. Cullen_. I was however rather pleased at the anger I felt brewing beneath the surface of my calm façade. This girl was beginning to test my resolve.

"Well if you two don't mind, I'm going to have a chat with some of the girls," Esme said walking towards the door.

I felt a jolt of panic and had just opened my mouth to reply when the witch beat me to it. "No that's no problem, I wanted to have a quick word with the reverend anyway."

I stood here in silence until I heard Esme's quiet footsteps leave the room and the door click closed behind her.

"What the hell do you think you're playing at?" I snarled, closing the distance between us. "Is this some sort of a sick game to you—are you enjoying this?"

She smirked at me before placing her hand on my chest. "Well that depends," she replied silkily. "Are you trying to piss me off by avoiding me all the time?"

I winced as I felt her nails dig into the material of my shirt.

"Contrary to your belief—my world does not revolve around you," I told her quietly

"Yes, that is quite obvious," she hissed, pulling away from me, "It revolves around that pathetic excuse for a women and your bastard child."

I felt the anger inside me begin to swell as I replied curtly, "I don't think that it has anything to do with you, does it? Kindly keep your thoughts on the matter to yourself."

"Nothing to do with me?" she repeated. "Nothing to fucking do with me? …. You were FUCKING me Carlisle," she hissed. "That makes it my business!"

"No it doesn't," I said, raising my voice slightly. "What happened between us was a mistake—one that will NEVER happen again."

"A mistake…. Mistakes happen once Carlisle - not fucking five times you hypocritical bastard."

"Isabella," I said, my patience finally wearing out. "I don't want to be with you, I want my wife, I want my child—there is no place, nor will there be a place in my world for YOU."

She stood there and stared at me in shock—as if those were the last words she ever expected to fall from my lips.

"But I love you…" she said "I FUCKING LOVE YOU, what the hell has that Stepford wife got that I haven't? If you want a baby then fine I'll give you one—just pick me—not her."

I sighed heavily, "It's too late, I've already made my choice—I made it years ago when I married her, for better and for worse."

"Well then I hope you two are happy together in your sad little lives—because the pair of you will be so busy pretending to be happy that inside you'll be fucking miserable. And as for that kid—well, I feel fucking sorry for it, because with parents like you two it hasn't got a hope in hell of being happy!" She spat.

Before I even realized what I was doing, I lifted the hand that had, until this point, been hanging uselessly by my side and slapped her sharply across the face.

The sound of it rang through the room and it was only when I heard a startled gasp from behind me that turned around and saw Esme standing there with an expression of horror on her face.

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P.S - if you guys ever fancy a chat about Carlisle porn, then feel free to follow me on twitter GrayKay87 - I could use some new inspiration ;)


	34. Chapter 34 : My feelings on a Tuesday

Disclaimer; Once again, Twilight isn't mine - I'm just borrowing it.

A/N A big thank you to all who have reviewed so far! I love you guys - you make me think that occasionally I can actually write something worth a damn. This is just another short chap because I've got something specific in mind for the next one!

Chapter 34 : My feelings on a Tuesday

EPOV

"…_..your sad little lives—because the pair of you will be so busy pretending to be happy that inside you'll be fucking miserable. And as for that kid—well, I feel fucking sorry for it, because with parents like you two it hasn't got a hope in hell of being happy!" _

It had been two days since my world had been rather violently shaken up and I was still in shock. I couldn't believe how much I had been deceived - Isabella Swan had always seemed like such a nice girl, but to here her say those things… that was bad enough - but then to see my kind husband loose his temper and strike her, that pushed me over the edge.

I remember the look of horror on his face when he turned around and found me standing there, but I didn't wait around to see what he had to say. I just ran, and for the first time I was grateful that Carlisle had always insisted on taking separate cars on a Sunday.

I don't really remember much after that - just going home, grabbing clothes and leaving again. After that I just drove until I couldn't drive anymore.

I ended up pulling into a tiny motel, in the middle of nowhere. Goodness knows what the manager thought as he took in my tear stained face, my rumpled skirt and my single bag but for once I couldn't bring myself to care. Because it was here that I had to decide what I was to do next.

CPOV

I could feel the headache forming even before I had opened my eyes. I groaned and rolled over in attempt to go back to sleep, but instead found myself falling into to the floor with grunt.

I opened my eyes and looked around me, I was in the living room - I must have fallen asleep at some point last night.

I pushed myself up off the floor and sat back on the sofa as the room started to spin slightly and it was then that I noticed the empty whisky bottle - or perhaps I passed out.

The past few days had been a blur of drinking, self loathing, anger and somewhat tempting thoughts of revenge.

After Esme ran off after seeing my encounter with Isabella, it took everything I had not to strangle the little witch with my bare hands.

I could still remember the look of absolute satisfaction on her face as she smirked at me while holding her hand to the now red cheek of her face.

"I always knew you had it in you to be a real man" she murmured before sauntering out of the room.

I stood in that room until the sounds of every last person had disappeared and all I could hear was the thudding of my own heart. Then I had proceeded to lock up and go home, where I had gotten blind drunk and passed out, then woke up and then did the same again.

To be honest, at this point I just didn't care - my wife had disappeared, my marriage probably in ruins by now - just like my reputation, if that witch has anything to do with it - so from where I'm standing, being permanently pissed is a good thing.

BPOV

Tuesday, and again a no show.. I was beginning to think that maybe I had pushed things with him too far on Sunday. But according to Alice, it had been just enough - and according to her mother - Carlisle's wifey had had enough. she'd apparently high tailed it out of town right after the ceremony and hadn't been seen since.

Tragic. Really. And now it seemed that I was almost at the finish line and the only other player had just pulled out. It was time to make him see that I was still in the game - even if she wasn't.

I felt a thrill of anticipation as I pulled my truck into the drive of the two story house that they lived in. When I first saw the place I thought it looked like one of those cutesy greeting card places and obviously her doing.

But then again, I thought as I climbed out of the cab and began to make my way towards the house - she was a delusional lunatic anyway.

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	35. Chapter 35: Knocking on heaven's door

Disclaimer: It's not mine - so don't complain about it

A/N Well my lovely readers - I had a sleepless night and as luck would have it - inspiration struck. So here's 35 a bit earlier than planned, I hope you enjoy it…. And for all of you hoping for a happily ever after… I wouldn't count your chickens just yet…. But then again, who knows - besides me that is! And a HUGE thank you to my Querida AutumnSong - without you this chapter wouldn't be possible, and to my wifey FionaRhiannon, love you!

Chapter 35 : Knocking on heaven's door

CPOV

I stared at the empty glass tumbler in front of me that had once been filled to the brim with whisky and wondered where it had all gone. I glanced over to the now empty bottle on the table and thought hard about whether or not that was the last bottle in the house and if it was…where I could locate another, when I heard a loud knock on the front door.

I groaned and heaved myself up from my place on the sofa and staggered over to the window to see who was knocking on _my_ door. I lifted the curtain and squinted out into the daylight and promptly dropped the glass that I had up until that point, still been clutching in my hand.

"Fuck," I cursed. It was the witch—what the hell did she want? Hadn't she caused enough trouble in my life so far?

I scowled and moved away from the window, pulling the curtain back into place as the knocking on the door became more insistent.

I walked into the hall with unsteady steps, cursing the day that I had ever met Isabella Swan.

As I reached the front door I paused for a moment. Did I really want to open the door and see her face again? That sinful tongue that had caused me to lose my calm demeanour on so many occasions… I couldn't help but hate her for what she had done to my resolve from the very first moment I laid eyes on her. But at the same time my body still craved hers.

I scowled as grasped the handle of the door and pulled it open.

To hell with it all…

BPOV

I had been standing knocking at this fucking door for nearly five minutes when without any warning it opened and there stood Carlisle Cullen looking rumpled, and somewhat pissed.

I was about to speak, when he beat me to it

"What do you want," he slurred slightly.

Fucking great, he was drunk—I wasn't sure if that would make this easier or harder. I guess I'd have to play it by ear. I took a tentative sniff… Hmm Carlisle was a whisky man.

I smiled and replied, "The same thing I've always wanted—you."

He stared at me, for a full minute before he seemed to take in my words. "And what makes you think I want you? Didn't you listen to a word I said on Sunday or are you just stupid?" He snarled.

I smirked and took a step towards him

"Why do I think you still want me?" I questioned softly, before taking another step towards him so that we were only inches apart. "I know because of this." I reached out and grasped the straining crotch of his pants. "You're as hard as fuck for me Carlisle, and you can lie as much as you want about it—but we both know it's true."

He was staring at me again; his brain sluggish from the alcohol was still trying to work out the appropriate response.

But I didn't give him chance to because I squeezed his hardened cock through the thin material of his pants and smiled in satisfaction as he groaned. That sound was all I needed. I used my free hand to propel him back into the house and kicked the door closed behind us.

We stood there in the hallway staring at each other, my hand still cupping his crotch.

"You're trying to fucking break me, aren't you," he muttered

"Not break you," I countered softly ," just own you."

With that I closed the remaining distance and kissed him hard on the mouth. At first he didn't respond and it felt as if I was kissing a sleeping man, until his lips suddenly parted and his tongue came seeking my own. I groaned as I felt his teeth nip at my lips and I could now fully taste the whisky that coated his mouth. Part of my mind questioned how easy he was giving in to me… but those thoughts quickly disappeared as he pushed me back against the front door.

He pushed his body into mine and began to bite at the curve of my neck. I groaned again as I felt my eyes begin to roll back in my head before I reached out and wrapped my arms tightly around him, splaying my hands across his strong back.

Suddenly his mouth was gone from my neck, his body from my arms. I stood there dazed, my chest heaving and looking at him in confusion.

"You're wearing too many clothes," he said. "Take them off."

I felt a shiver run down my spine at his voice. It was the voice that he had used on me before, when we used to play our games—my Carlisle was back.

For the first time that day I was grateful that I had kept my wardrobe simple. I smiled and grasped the edges of the t shirt I wore and pulled it up over my head before throwing it to the floor. I watched as his eyes roamed over my breasts hungrily

"No bra," he rasped.

I shook my head and smirked as I kicked off my shoes and undid the top button on my jeans, followed by the zipper and pushed them down my legs so that they were down by my ankles.

I waited for his comment in silence. He had to say something about me not having any panties on—he mentioned the bra. But he didn't, he just stood there in silence looking at me.

"Step out of the jeans," he told me finally.

I did as he asked and he kicked them aside before coming to stand in front of me again.

"Isabella," he murmured softly. "Such a pretty little witch, aren't you."

I felt myself getting wetter my the second, and if I didn't know any better I'd swear that my legs were shaking too –and I hadn't so much as fucking touched me yet. I was about to ask what I wanted me to do, when he placed his hand over my mouth

"Be quiet," he said before turning and pointing towards the stairs.

I looked at him in confusion, "What?" I felt a stinging slap to the top of my thigh and I jumped slightly.

"No talking," he reminded me quietly.

I walked over to the stairs where he had pointed to and stood waiting for my next instructions. I felt him come to stand behind me and place his mouth to my ear, "The fourth step up from the bottom; I want you to bend over and place your hands on it."

I took a step forward and did as he asked.

"Now spread your legs," he told me.

I slowly opened my legs so I was completely bared before him and waited while listening to the sounds of his harsh breathing. I could feel the wetness spreading as I thought about him standing there, looking at me in this position. I almost gasped out loud when I felt him slide a finger inside of me but I obeyed him.

"Good witch," he said approvingly as he continued to move the digit slowly in and out slowly, before he stopped. I began to wonder what he was playing at when I heard the rasp of a zipper and I felt my thighs quiver slightly in anticipation.

I felt his hardness rub up against my slick entrance before he entered me with one sharp thrust and I groaned loudly. I half expected him to stop and slap me again, but he didn't—instead he placed his hands on my hips and began rhythmically pounding into me.

I gasped loudly as his thrusts started to get harder and more frequent and I felt myself getting wetter and even more turned on. One of his hands moved off my hip and slid between my legs to rub my soaking centre. I could feel my orgasm beginning to build and I could tell that by Carlisle's frantic thrusts that he wasn't far behind that when he began to alternate between rubbing and pinching at my clit—that little manoeuvre was my undoing.

I came in a haze of curses and groans, with him following me closely behind with a muffled curse and a whispering of my name.

It was only afterwards when I slumped onto the stairs with him still inside of me that I allowed myself to smile in satisfaction.

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	36. Chapter 36 : Bad shit brewing

Disclaimer; The characters ect don't belong to me... I'm just playing with them a little

A/N, A huge apology for the delay... but I had a run of bad luck and a little writers block – but I'm back and this time... it's going to get seriously personal. I also want to give a shout out to the girl that always reads my shit, puts up with my dirty mouth and doesn't mind when I talk about cobwebs (not that I have them anymore) you mean the world to me, my Querida Corazon!

Chapter 36 : Bad shit brewing

CPOV

I'm ashamed to say it, but bending that little witch over the stairs and fucking her did more for me therapeutically than whisky or anything else could. It seemed that after our session we had both gotten what we wanted because she didn't argue when I told her to get out and I hadn't seen her since and that was almost a week ago.

The bad news was that she wasn't the only one that I had heard nothing from. It had been over a week now and I still hadn't heard anything from Esme. Truth be told, when she first left I had half expected her to call within a day or two, to tell me where she was - or at least tell me where we stood.

The thing about silence is that you have nothing what so ever to distract you from the voices in your head. And no, I'm not referring to the kind that tell you to go and sacrifice virgins or that everyone is out to get you. I'm talking about that nagging bastard in the back of your head, called a conscience and lately I couldn't get mine to shut the hell up.

I was well aware of what I'd done and the pain that I'd caused. What I didn't need was for it to be repeated in my head, over and over again. And for that to happen, I needed a distraction and a good one at that.

Three days later

BPOV

I groaned as I rolled over in bed and pulled the covers up over my head, to block out the light that stung my eyes. I let out a sigh as I snuggled further under the covers and set about going back to sleep, when my phone started to ring.

I rolled over and peered out from under the duvet long enough to snatch the phone off my bedside table, before disappearing back under the covers.

(Bella/_Alice_)

"Hello," I muttered

"_You're not going to fucking believe this, babe!_"

"Alice?"

"_Who else would it be_?"

I groaned before replying. "Nobody, because they're not fucking stupid enough to call while I'm sleeping."

"_Bitch_"

"I know, now what's up?"

"_I think my mom's fucking Carlisle Cullen_"

I sat up before shouting, "What the fuck?"

"_I know!_"

I shook my head, all traces of sleep now gone from my mind and instead replaced with shock, anger and perhaps, hurt?

"I hope for your sake Alice, that this is some kind of a sick fucking joke!"

I heard a sigh on the other end of the phone, followed by a moment of silence before she replied. "_I wish it was, but I seriously think that they are. She came home all glowy and shit on Tuesday night and I've barely seen her since_."

I wasn't impressed by her logic at this point. "Okay, so how the hell does that bring you to the conclusion that your mom's fucking Carlisle?" I asked.

"_Well, it might have something to do with the whispered phone conversations she's been having in her room at night, and the fact that the one time she has been home recently, he was with her and I heard her giggling and saying how fabulous he was_."

Okay I could see where she was getting her ideas from, but that fucker wouldn't do Alice's mom, would he?

"_Bella_?"

"I hope to fucking God you're wrong about this, Ally." I told her

"_I know, because that would really fuck things up for us, wouldn't it?_"

"Yes, it really would. But I'm still not sure what the fuck's happening at the moment."

"_I know that babe, but you're a week late. You've never been a week late in two years._"

"I know, but I don't want to take anything for granted yet, not until I know I've got him."

"_Okay. Wanna meet up? We can have a look around my mom's room while she's out to see if there're any clues on whether or not she's fucking the preacher man or not._"

I thought about it for a moment, if that bastard really was doing the dirty on me then I wanted to know about it. "Sure, your place in an hour?" I asked.

"_One hour, later babe_."

I heard the click of the call ending before I let the phone drop onto the mattress. Would he really find someone else? I mean his wife was one thing, I could understand him feeling his obligation to her and….the kid. But for him to find someone else to fuck on top of that after all of his "I want to do the right thing by my wife" bullshit, I'm not sure I could deal with that.

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P.s – Love to the wifey woman... don't want you to get jealous now, do we


	37. Chapter 37: Calls and Cat fights

Disclaimer; Twilight isn't owned by me... I just play around with it for my own amusement

A/N, Hello again my lovelies – another update and in only a few days ... shocked? Well don't be because this is me getting my ass into gear! As usual, a big shout out to my Querida, love you...Muah! ... Enjoy and review folks x

Chapter 37: Calls and Cat fights

I let out a yell of frustration as I slumped down on the bed beside Alice and contemplated what the next move was.

"Maybe I was wrong babe, I mean we've searched the whole house top to bottom and so far we've found fuck all that hints to Carlisle and mommy dearest, doing the dirty" Alice said as she examined her fingernails intently.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and instead settled for, what I hoped was a scathing sigh before I sat up and checked the time from the clock on the wall opposite us.

"Fucking great Ally" I told her, as I stood up "Maybe you were wrong? Four fucking hours searching everywhere we could think of and it's 'maybe I was wrong'... Jesus."

I turned around just before she sat up and glared at me

"Well fucking excuse me, next time I won't bother trying to be a good friend and watch your back" she snarled.

"Good friend?" I let out a bitter laugh before continuing "You've been so busy fucking Jasper, that I'm surprised you even remember what the term 'good friend' even means."

"You ungrateful bitch" she screeched, standing up "After everything I've done for you over the years, and this is what I get, well fuck you!"

"Right back at you, _babe_" I spat, before turning around and storming out of the room, taking care to slam the bedroom door closed behind me, as hard as I could.

It wasn't like I needed her anyway, I thought bitterly as I stomped down the stairs. She was never around and anyway, once things with Carlisle were sorted out then I wouldn't have had anymore use for her – but even that being the case, it still hurt that I had to do this to her.

CPOV

"You're an incredible woman Sarah, you've given me something I really needed and I'm very grateful for that" I told her as I finished fastening the buttons up on my shirt.

"Absolutely no problem darling, truth be told, it was exactly what I needed too. And I have to admit as a distraction, this has turned out to be a rather pleasurable one" she replied.

I turned around and looked over to where she stood beside the bedroom door, a small smile on her face.

"Anyway" she continued "I'd love to stay and chat, but I have plans with some of my women friends, this afternoon."

"No problems, I'll see you tomorrow, perhaps?" I asked

"Of course, I'd love too" she replied before turning and making her way downstairs and out of the house to go off to where ever she had to be, leaving me to my thoughts.

X X X

I could hear the sound of ringing, coming from somewhere very close by. I opened my eyes and squinted around me.

It had gotten dark, the only source of light coming from the glow of my phone on the night stand. I must have fallen asleep after Sarah left. I sighed and rubbed my hands across my face, before reaching over and answering the call in mid ring.

(Carlisle/_Esme_)

"Hello" I grunted

"_Hello Carlisle_" she murmered

"Esme?" I muttered, shocked

"_Yes Carlisle, it's me. I'm calling to tell you that I'm coming home tomorrow. I think we've been avoiding the truth for a long while now, and if we're going to raise this baby right, then it's about time we face them - starting with Emma_" she replied.

"….Okay" I told her

"_I'll see you then_" she said

There was a click, followed by a dial tone – she had hung up on me. I stared at the phone in shock, the woman I spoke to had sounded exactly like my wife in voice, but was someone completely different in character.

I dropped the phone onto the bed beside me. She was coming home tomorrow, I couldn't believe it. Part of me was thrilled at the prospect of having her back, but another part of me was uneasy. Everything she wanted to talk about, it wouldn't be easy for us – there was so much pain in our past and I wasn't convinced that she was ready to deal with it, even if she thought she was.

And then there was the situation with Sarah, I would have to warn her that Esme was coming back tomorrow.

I closed my eyes and sighed, tomorrow was going to be a very long day.

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	38. Chapter 38 : Wishful words

Disclaimer; I don't own it and I've never claimed to...

A/N To all those still reading, I'm so very sorry for the delay - it's been one crisis after another. And to my querida corazon - thank you for your love, support and endless patience.

Chapter 38 : Wishful words

BPOV

I stared down at the little white stick on the counter and prayed for the line to turn blue... prayed and prayed - but still the line did not appear. I wasn't pregnant.

I let out a scream as I picked up the stick and flung it across the room.

There was a small rap on the door. "Bella," Charlie called, "Is everything all right in there?"

Fuck off, I thought bitterly. Ever since he had gotten back a couple of days ago he had been trying to play the "I'm such a great dad game" and I wasn't in the mood for it now.

"Bella?" He called again.

I let out a sigh before replying, "Just peachy dad, girls problems that's all."

I heard him clear his throat uncomfortably, "Well uh…I could go and get your mom if you like Bells?"

_God no._ "It's fine dad…really," I replied, a little more forcefully this time.

I waited a few minutes until I was sure he had gone before I made my way out of the bathroom, across the hall, and into the safety of my room.

I was at a loss as to what to do now; I had set all my hopes on falling pregnant with Carlisle's child. How was I supposed to compete with his wife now? I knew without a doubt that he would choose the child, choose her over me. I just had to find a way to stop it.

X X X

CPOV

I'm not sure how long we had been sitting across this table staring at each other, it couldn't have been more than an hour or so but I had no way of knowing for sure. My thoughts and emotions seemed to spinning around so fast, I felt positively exhausted. Perhaps it had been hours.

"Carlisle," she murmured softly.

I lifted my gaze from the table I had been staring at for so long and met her eyes.  
"I never knew you felt like that," I whispered.

"Oh darling, how could I not? Her life would never have been her own; she would have always been dependent on others and always in pain. It was right for the doctors to let her go when they did; she'll always be our Emma—just in a better place."

I let my gaze fall back to the table again as I fought the sting of tears in my eyes and the raw burning in my throat.

"I know it was hard for you Carlisle, you had to be the adult while I got to escape to my fantasy world," her voice began to waver slightly, "and you had to watch our little girl…die."

I felt the tears that had begun to well up suddenly spill over and begin to trickle silently down my cheeks as I finally gave in to all the pain and misery I had been holding on to for so very long.

X X X

EPOV

I watched in silence as my strong and capable husband crumbled before me and finally allowed himself to feel the pain he had been denying himself for so long.

I stood up and made my way around the table to stand in front of him, waiting silently for him to become aware of my presence. When he did, I was struck by the emotions on his face.

"Come here," I told him softly.

He slowly turned his body towards mine, wrapped his arms firmly around my waist, and nuzzled his head into my abdomen.

"Everything will be okay," I reassured him, threading my fingers through his hair.

"It can't be…I've ruined everything," he muttered into my stomach.

I understood at once, what he was referring to. "Because of your affairs," I questioned.

I felt his body stiffen against me.

He began to pull away from me but I wrapped my arms securely around his shoulders.

"It's nothing new to me," I informed him because indeed it wasn't. I had gotten used to his infidelities over the years—it was his way of coping, where as mine had been falling apart.

"And now I'm done hiding from it" I told him firmly. "If we're going to be proper parents to our child then we need to face up to the truth which is simply that we loved and we lost, nothing in the world can change that - but we owe it to ourselves to try and make it better."

He muttered something intelligible into my stomach.

I sighed as I loosened my arms from around his neck and pulled away from him slightly.

He turned his face up to look at mine again and repeated himself quietly

"What about Bella Swan?"

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	39. Chapter 39: Parental urges

Chapter 39 : Parental urges

Disclaimer; I only read twilight - I don't own it….

A/N A big thank you to all who reviewed my last chap and to all my readers. I've put a new profile in this chap - Renee. I wanted to give you all a better idea of what Bella's home life is like and just how much of a flake Renee is. I hope you like it. And a huge kiss to my lovely querida Corazon.

BPOV

It had been a week since the whole pregnancy test thing and I hadn't done anything but hang around the house feeling crappy. I heard from Rene that Esme was back and that she and Carlisle were playing happy family again. It was fucking sickening. When I think of all the shit she put him through... Then she just shows up again and he takes her back as if nothing happened.

Ugh, I don't know who I was pissed at more. Then there was Ally. She still hadn't called. I still hadn't called...and neither one of us wanted to break first.

I was brought from my thoughts by a soft knock on my bedroom door.

I rolled my eyes before calling out, "Whatever it is, I'm not interested."

The door opened and Charlie stood there, an uncertain smile on his face.

"Hey Bells, me and the boys were gonna go fishing this afternoon and I thought you might wanna tag along or somthin," he said awkwardly.

"Gee dad, that sounds fun—but I have plans this afternoon, big important ones." I said staring up at the ceiling.

"That's great Bells, you heading over to Alice's or somthin," he asked

"Nope, I've got a date with Oprah and apparently today is the 'I fell in love with my best friends boyfriend' episode."

Charlie let out a grunt

"What?" I asked turning to look at him

"You're kidding me right?" he asked

"No, that's what I'm doing because that's what I want to do. You got a problem with that?" I snapped.

"Well actually, yeah…I do Bells. You're a young girl, you shouldn't be spending your days cooped up in the house watching trash TV."

I glared at him before replying. "Well thanks for your two cents dad, but how I spend my free time isn't really up to you now is it?" With that, I rolled over and stared out the window.

"Oh and don't forget to close the door on your way out," I added.

X X X

RPOV

_10 ways to improve your life, starting now!_

_Step 1, Throw away all those self-help books you've bought - you don't need them, you need you!_

_Step 2, Dig out that old phone book of yours and..._

I heard screech followed by the slam of a door from somewhere upstairs and then blast of music followed the steady thump of bass. I sighed and threw aside the magazine I had been reading and got up of the sofa just as Charlie came charging into the room.

"That girl is getting ridiculous now," he yelled," All week she's done nothing but laze about the house and complain."

I rolled my eyes before replying, "What else is new?"

He looked at me, his face beginning to turn a funny puce color. "She's not usually like this when I'm here," he blustered.

"Exactly, when you're here—which is only a few days every other week. This is what it's really like living with a teenage girl in the house. Welcome to the real world, honey," I told him, before turning around and picking up the discarded magazine and making my way out to sit in the garden.

X X X

EPOV

I looked around again in wonder; my husband was such a complete darling. It seemed that all the while I had been gone he had been planning on my return and had been working with Sarah to create a wonderful nursery for our child. I would have to thank her; she had done such a lovely job.

I let out a small sigh of contentment as I sat on the rocking chair and thought of the future ahead.

X X X

CPOV

I allowed my mind to drift as I steadily breathed in the sweet perfume of incense that seemed to saturate the air.

For the first time in weeks, I felt more at ease than I had in a while. Things with Esme had gone better than I had imagined they would and now she was back at home where I could look after her and our baby.

I felt a warm glow inside whenever I thought of those words 'our baby' ... it was something that I'd never dared hope of again since Emma. Things were finally becoming normal again.

Well almost... my mind countered as it wandered on to the familiar territory that was Isabella Swan. I mentally groaned. That girl was trouble. That girl had bewitched me and I loathed admitting that not all those ties were dead... my body may have been sated, but my mind—it still called for more. But I couldn't give in, not again. I had a wife. I had a child on the way.

I did not _need_ Isabella Swan.

My mind wandered again, only this time between Esme and Isabella, such opposites they were. Esme her cool placid nature and Bella her fire and spirit…I wondered what the future held for the three of us and what exactly Esme meant when she said that she'd take care of Isabella Swan.

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	40. Chapter 40 : Doctors and discoveries

Disclaimer; Twilight isn't my creation and I certainly don't own it…. Although I must admit - the idea of owning Carlisle…. It gives me shivers of the best kind!

A/N Hello my lovelies - this is a bit of a teaser…. that leads up to all sorts of interesting fuckery -enjoy-

Chapter 40 : Doctors and discoveries

BPOV

It had been a long week, a very long and shitty week and this had just topped everything off. I glanced over at the clock on the wall before sighing. Forty fucking minutes I had been sitting here on this hard assed chair waiting for this douche to hurry the fuck up.

I slouched down in the chair and cursed myself for listening to Renee when someone sat down behind me, I was about to turn around and have a look to see if it was anyone worth talking to when the receptionist called out my name and pointed to the door on the left of her.

I made my way over and was buzzed through to the office.

"Ah Isabella, thank you for coming" Dr Adams said as he got up from his chair and walked around the desk to greet me with a firm handshake and the familiar smell of cough candies that always seemed to linger around him.

"Please have a seat" he said indicating to the chair beside his desk.

I smiled awkwardly and sat down in the indicated place and waited as he sat back in his chair and shuffled some papers around on his desk.

I'm not sure what it was, but there was something about going to visit the doctor that always made me feel like I was five years old again.

He cleared his throat and said "So Isabella, you came in last week because you'd been feeling unwell for a few weeks and after little progress decided to pay us a visit, is that right?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, my coming here had nothing what so ever to do with me wanting to and everything to do with Renee making me because apparently 'feeling shitty and watching Oprah wasn't a good enough reason not to go to school' but I nodded my head in agreement anyway.

"Well we've got the test results back and you appear to be in perfect health" he said.

"So nausea, dizziness and generally feeling shitty is perfect health?" I blurted

He started shuffling the papers around on his desk again and I resisted the urge to screw them up and shove them down his throat.

"What I mean" he said slowly "Is that you're in perfect health for your condition."

I stared at him blankly

"You're pregnant" he said bluntly

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	41. Chapter 41: Getting on with things

Disclaimer; It's not mine - all that credit goes to S.M

A/N Thanks for the love and reviews! I hope you like the new chapter!

Chapter 41 : Getting on with things

JPOV

There was something about doctors waiting rooms that always freaks me out, I'm not sure why - perhaps its something to do with being surrounded by sick people.

I let out a sigh, slouched down in my chair and hoped that I wouldn't be stuck waiting here too long because I had plans with Alice tonight. Ever since she'd had her falling out with Bella she had been wanting to spend more time together than usual, not that I minded of course - I loved her, but I also knew that she needed her friend back.

I heard a door slam from somewhere behind me and prayed that it would be my turn soon. I glanced up as someone walked past me towards the exit.

I'd recognise that jaunty walk and brown hair anywhere, it was Bella. I sat up and was about to call over to her so I could persuade her to give Alice a call when I noticed she was clutching a bunch of leaflets in her hand, one of which proclaimed 'What to expect when your expecting' and the only words that came to mind then were "Shit."

BPOV

I felt like I was fucking flying. I got through the rest of the doctors appointment in a blur after I heard the words "false negative…quite common … definitely pregnant."

After assuring him that I was keeping the baby and that I would be in touch, I got out of there as quick as I could - all the while my head buzzing with thoughts and one louder than all the others…

'I was pregnant with Carlisle Cullen's baby.'

EPOV

I hummed softly to myself as I quietly tidied the kitchen and placed the breakfast dishes in the sink to be washed.

Life was good and things with Carlisle were better than they had been in years, this baby was a blessing for us.

I was just deciding if I should do the dishes now or wait until I had sorted things out upstairs first when the phone rang.

I smiled, it was probably Carlisle calling to check up on me - he was so thoughtful like that.

I hurried over to answer the phone, cradling it against my shoulder

"Hello" I greeted

"Ah Mrs Cullen, I'm pleased I was finally able to get a hold of you, it's Anthony Grey here. I really need..."

"Mr Grey" I said interrupting him "I'm sorry but I think your services are no longer required, thank you very much for your time - goodbye."

"Wait, we really must talk..." I heard him exclaim as I placed the receiver back in it's cradle, cutting him off in mid sentence.

There really was no need for him anymore.

I started humming again as I made my way upstairs and into the bedroom to finish the tidying before Carlisle came home.

Downstairs the phone began to ring again...

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	42. Chapter 42 : Early Sunday morning

Disclaimer; I don't own twilight - I just write about it

A/N Thank you once again for all the love and again I'm sorry my chapters are short but I'm trying to set things out. I hope you like it - let me know what you think is in store for our lovely characters and maybe you'll get a reward. Enjoy.

Chapter 42 : Early Sunday Morning

CPOV

It was barely light and just after 6am but Sunday was my busiest day of the week, however on this particular morning I found myself more reluctant than usual to get moving.

I thought about my wife who was still sleeping peacefully upstairs as I stared down at the coffee cup I held tightly in my hands and sighed before placing it gently on the table in front of me. If it could give me all of the answers that I so desperately wanted then I was delusional as well as an idiot.

Something was wrong - that much I was sure about. After I had arrived home on Friday evening Esme had told me the neighbours dog had been digging around in the back yard again and had managed to damage the phone line. I had went out to have a look and sure enough the yard was a mess and the phone line dead. She said that she had called an engineer and he would be out on Tuesday to look at it.

There was only one problem with that - we only had two neighbours, one was an elderly couple who had no pets and the other, a young family did have a dog - until it died six months ago and they hadn't replaced it. So what exactly had happened in the yard and why did I get the feeling that she was keeping something from me?

BPOV

It had been two days since I had found out about the pregnancy but I still wasn't sure how I was going to deal with it. Should I tell Carlisle? Renee….fuck no.

I flopped back on the sofa and sighed loudly.

I had to do something about this - I couldn't just go on pretending that this wasn't happening. I glanced over at the clock on the wall, it was 09.30. There would be a Sunday service on at the church in an hour - should I go and see him? Talk to him?

I stared at the ceiling - half hoping that I'd have some sudden clue as to what to do when the doorbell rang.

I sat up and stared into the hallway, puzzled. I wasn't expecting anyone, Renee was out somewhere doing some new age hippy thing and Charlie was away on one of his fishing weekends.

The doorbell rang again

Clearly who ever it was wasn't going away, which was rather fucking inconsiderate given the fact that it was barely after 09.30 on a Sunday morning - I could be still in fucking bed for all they knew.

I got up and stalked over into the hall towards the front door just as the bell rang again

I grabbed the knob and wrenched the door open

"What" I snarled, beyond pissed at the interruption. Then I noticed who it was that was standing at my door, ringing my bell.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I blurted out as I stared at my unexpected visitor in a mixture of shock, and irritation.

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	43. Chapter 43: Questions and questions?

Disclaimer; I don't own twilight and have never claimed otherwise, so boo!

A/N A big thank you to all who keep reading and alerting my fic, it means the world that you guys keep coming. I hope you like this chapter and that it was worth the wait.

Chapter 43: Questions and …questions?

BPOV

"_What the hell are you doing here?" I blurted out as I stared at my unexpected visitor in a mixture of shock, and irritation._

Stood in front of me and shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other was Jasper Hale. He cleared his throat and mumbled something undistinguishable before shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans.

I rolled my eyes before replying "I'm sorry but I didn't take any classes in 'understanding idiot mutterings' this year, so you'll have to speak up a little."

He flushed before replying "I said, I thought you might need someone to talk to, what with you and Ally giving each other the silent treatment and all."

I felt a twinge at his words…. But forced it down, sympathy wasn't something I wanted right now

"Well that's great Jasper, really… but I've had all the gooy shit I need from Oprah" I told him.

I turned to go back into the house when I heard Jasper mutter something about me being a stubborn bitch.

I spun back around and leaned towards him "My life, my shit, so mind your own fucking business" I snarled before turning back into the house and slamming the door closed behind me for good measure.

X X X

CPOVI hummed softly as I let myself quietly into the house, it was mid afternoon and Esme was probably napping - she seemed to tire so easily these days.

As I closed the front door behind me, I was surprised to hear the murmur of voices coming from the direction of kitchen.

"Carlisle honey, is that you?" Esme called

"Yes, its me" I replied with a smile as I made my way into the kitchen and froze..

Sitting at the table like she had been there for hours was Renee Swan.

Esme turned to me and smiled

I mentally shook myself before walking over and placing a gentle kiss on her cheek and then busied myself fixing a drink, while inwardly wondering what she was doing here.

"Anyway, I have to be off - I'm going to see if I can tempt Bella out of her room tonight by fixing her favourite, spaghetti and meatballs" Renee said as she stood up and began to gather her things.I vaguely heard Renee call out a goodbye as she left and I nodded in return, but my mind was elsewhere...

Bella. Isabella. I tried to ignore the ache in my chest as I thought of her. Regardless of all she'd done and the risks she'd taken, I still had feelings for her and that would probably never change.

I heard the front door close and watched as Esme came back into the room."Poor Renee" she said sympathetically as she sat back down at the table. "She's been having so much trouble with Bella lately. Arguments, mood swings, sickness, not eating properly..."

I nodded my head in agreement as I silently prayed for the conversation to stitch to something less painful.

"But of course I told her it was nothing to worry about" she continued, "that it was probably just hormones... teenagers, I swear... they're exactly like I am at the moment - except for the fact that they don't have pregnancy as an excuse for being unreasonable."

I felt my heart lurch in my chest and spots began to dance in front of my eyes... pregnant, it wasn't possible... was it?

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	44. Chapter 44 : Physical, mental or both?

Disclaimer: Twilight isn't owned by me, it belongs to S.M  
A/N A big thank you to all those who reviewed, read and alerted the last chapter. I really hope you like this one! I want to know what you guys are thinking about where this is going too! Feedback people!

Chapter 44 : Physical, mental or both?

BPOV

I sighed in frustration as my cell phone began buzzing angrily beside me on the bed. I placed the book I had been reading down on the bed beside me and glanced over at the offending object.

The brightly lit screen displayed two words, Carlisle calling.

This was the sixth time today he had called. Part of me so wanted to talk to him, but part of me really wasn't ready for that yet. I knew he had figured out my little problem, no doubt thanks to Renee going over to see the stepford wife yesterday, to confide in her about her concerns for my 'health'... nosey bitch. I swear, that woman has spent years barely paying any attention to my existence at all and the one time I want her to get on with her life and leave mine alone, she won't!

I looked over at my cell as the call broke off and the screen once again went dark. I knew I would have to talk to him eventually - but for now I was firmly on avoidance mode.

CPOV

I tossed my cell phone on to the desk and swore. She was avoiding my calls. Blast that girl, going from not being able to get rid of her, to not being able to get a hold of her wasn't good. This only seemed to make my suspicions grow, she really might be pregnant.

I groaned and slumped down in my chair, before tossing my cell phone onto the desk. I glanced over at the clock on the far wall, it was only 10.20am and I was exhausted. I could feel the heaviness in my body growing by the minute and my eyes straining against the lightness of the room.

If only things were simpler...

x x x

I awoke with a start and looked around confused. What had woken me? I sighed and rubbed at my eyes wearily when I began to notice just how dark it was, I glanced up at the clock on the far wall and tried to make out the time. Surely it couldn't be that late.

"Oh don't worry, you haven't slept the day away" murmured a voice

I spun around so fast that I was temporarily dazed by the action... Sitting in the corner of the room and looking more at home than she had right to be was Isabella Swan.

"What the hell are you doing here" I hissed as I got up from my chair and stalked over to where she sat.

"Now now Carlisle, Anyone would think that you're unhappy to see me" she drawled as she stood up to meet me.

"I am unhappy to see you HERE" I stated

She pouted and god help me, I felt my cock twitch. The sight of those delicious lips of hers all puckered... I knew what pleasures they could bring.

She took a step towards me, closing the remaining distance between us and leaned in so her face was inches from my own.

"Well then, what is it that you want me to do" she whispered..."Leave?..."

I felt a mixture of anger and desire at her words... This girl, she claimed to love me, to desire me and yet she continued to risk so much by coming here in the first place. But another part of me... the wholly male part, was immensely turned on my her arrogance, her lust, her passion for me. But which side won, sensible or sinner?

It was inevitable really...

"Get on your knees and suck my cock" I told her, and to enforce the command I pushed down hard on her shoulder, forcing her to kneel on the floor at my feet.

As if in defence, a surge of rebellion seemed to fill her as she tried to stand up, pushing me away with a smirk.

"So...you want to do this the hard way?" I responded, pushing her down again harder this time.

She laughed darkly "So this is what its come to?" she asked mockingly... "Whatever happen to I'm sorry?"

"The time for sorry is long past" I replied ... and besides, it's not like you're not enjoying this, Isabella" and to demonstrate my point I cupped her crotch under the sorry excuse for skirt she was wearing and immersed myself in the feeling of the wetness and heat spreading through the flimsy material that covered her most intimate bounty.

She shuddered at the firmness of my touch, pressing herself almost involuntarily  
against my hand needing something to take the pressure off the  
mounting ache.

I felt my inner beast rejoice at her surrender to my will.

I removed my hand from between her legs and then slipped my hard, aching cock from my trousers. I then took her head in my hands as she opened her mouth and I thrust my cock deeply inside.

I groaned at the immediate tightening of her mouth around my cock as she began to move her mouth up and down the engorged shaft.

"Isabella" I murmured

I felt her stall, remove her mouth from my cock and murmur "You like?"

I felt like screaming at the loss of the sensation of her mouth on my cock and told her so, to which she giggled and then proceeded to take me fully in her mouth again.

I felt the ache in my cock get even stronger as she took my balls in her hand and began rhymithicly massaging them at the same time as she was moving her mouth up and down my shaft.

"This is what heaven must me like" I told her.

I felt her throat convulse as she laughed and I groaned again at the sensation.

"Carlisle" she shouted.. "Carlisle!"

My lust filled brain tried to process what she was shouting... or how she was shouting, her lips were around my cock..

"Carlisle" the voice called again

There it was again!  
But she hadn't moved, she was still diligently sucking at my cock... but then again, when I thought about it, it didn't really sound like her... it sounded more like...

"Esme" I cried bolting up

I groaned as my head swam and my eyes stung with the sudden brightness of the light around me. I glanced frantically around, only then to realise that I was still in my office, sitting at my desk and that I must have fallen asleep at some point.

"Carlisle" Esme repeated in her 'do not fuck with me voice'

"Darling" I replied, while inwardly thinking 'fuck!'

I watched as she walked around my desk and came to stand in front of the chair I was sitting in and then bent down so that our faces were roughly level. Her eyes had taken on an overly bright sheen and the expression on her face read pissed off.

"So" she said brightly "do you feel like sharing just why Isabella Swan is what heaven must be like, or should I just get on with asking you what the fuck you've been thinking about in that messed up head of yours?"

Yes, this was worse than bad and this time it was entirely my fault.

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	45. Chapter 45: Parts of the puzzle

Disclaimer; Twilight doesn't belong to me and I don't pretend otherwise.

A/N – Wow, it's been a while and I'm really sorry about that guys! But I hope you like the chapter – feedback is always appreciated!

Chapter 45: Parts of the puzzle

CPOV

She stood in front of me silently staring, the only movement was the unsteady rise and fall of her chest. Then suddenly, before I'd even had time to blink she crumpled soundlessly to the floor, almost like a puppet that had its strings cut.

I was in front of her on my knees in an instant

"Please say something" I pleaded

"Say something?" she whispered "...what exactly is there to say?"

"Call me a bastard, tell me I'm no good... for god's sake... say I'm fucked up in the head! I don't care, just say ANYTHING" I bargained.

She seemed to tremble all over, her skin had taken on a whiter than white quality and then she took in a very deep breath... and then let it out again slowly, as if she was trying to savour every precious breath.

I waited. I waited for her to shout at me, for her to call me a two timing bastard, a liar... a disgrace to my profession... but nothing came. Instead she lay there, all crumpled and broken on the floor and took deep breaths.

I'm not sure how long we had spent there on the floor, but it must have been a while because I was starting to lose the feeling in my legs, when she eventually spoke.

"I lied" she murmured, whilst staring at the floor with unseeing eyes.

I was confused, she had lied - about what - when?

I was just about to verbalise my thoughts when she spoke again, this time in a stronger and clearer voice.

"I lied to you" she said while finally bringing her gaze to meet mine for the first time in what seemed like forever.

I shook my head still lost at what she could be implying.

She sat up slowly, turned her body fully towards mine and said "I lied to you about the baby."

My heart seemed to seize painfully in my chest as my brain began process her words.

She continued, seemingly oblivious to the agony she was causing me...

"I'm not sure why I did it, I think it's because I hoped that this would save us, give us our new beginning... but it didn't, did it?"

My mind was racing round at what seemed like a million miles an hour, I was sure I'd heard her wrong, she couldn't have said what I thought she said. I needed to hear it again, to know for sure it wasn't just some cruel trick my mind had played.

"Say it again" I choked out

She sighed and placed her small hands on top of mine and repeated the words that broke my heart, "I lied about the pregnancy Carlisle, I was never pregnant, it was a figment... something I made up to try and save us."

I felt like a drowning man, it didn't matter how much air I tried to get into my lungs - it still felt like I couldn't breathe.

"I don't believe it" I whispered

She sighed again and squeezed my hands softly before murmuring "It's as true as it can be."

Out of nowhere a wave of pure hot anger seemed to race through my veins and I wrenched my hands from hers "Because you'd know all about that" I spat.

She flinched, "Carlisle..." she tried

"No" I snapped as I scrambled up from my place on the floor, "I don't want to hear it. Ever."

My head was spinning and I felt like I was going to pass out at any minute, but I needed to get as far away from this hell hole as I could.

I grabbed my keys from their place by the door as I staggered out as fast as I could.

I knew I was in no fit state to drive as I fumbled with the keys to unlock the door - but I knew I couldn't deal with speaking to her again, so I slid behind the wheel without hesitation and sighed as the engine roared to life and my foot made it flat to the floor as the car sped off.

My mind felt like it was fracturing, the questions raced around in my head. Was it all a lie? Had she planned this from the beginning? Did she ever love me? How could I ever have loved her? What was going to happen now?

All this happened because of one lousy dream... Dream... My heart lurched at the thought, it made everything else occur to me. Bella, the baby ... What the hell was I going to do about that?

I heard the screech of a horn and snapped to attention, I had just ran a stop sign and was headed to a pedestrian crossing when something shot out in front of me.

I felt my heart lurch in my chest as I slammed the breaks on and one thought screamed out to me ... Seatbelt.

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	46. Chapter 46 : Plans and surprises

Disclaimer; I don't own any of the main characters - they all belong to S.M

A/N; Hey there all you lovely readers - I'm so sorry for the delay in posting! I hope it wets your appetites because there's more on the way very soon! Enjoy and don't forget to review J

Chapter 46 : Plans and surprises

BPOV

There was something about the sight in front of me that made my breath seem to catch in my throat. I closed my eyes and shook my head, as if expecting the sight before me to disappear - but only then to re-appear again as I reopened my eyes to gaze at view in front of me.

I had noticed it quite by accident, I was trying to find something at least partly presentable to wear into town - I was meeting Alice… for kind of a make up coffee and she was always way too critical on what I wear. Anyway, I had just turned to give myself a last once over before heading out when I noticed it.

My once perfectly flat stomach had developed a slight curve to it, nothing overly obvious but it was a start. I placed my hands near the bottom of my belly and gently pressed my fingers down into the flesh, holy crap - it was as hard as a rock. I withdrew my hands and shook myself, pull yourself together girl - its too late to fall apart now. I hurried out of the room, stopping only to grab my jacket and bag before making my way out the house to meet Alice.

APOV

There was something about sitting in a coffee shop and watching people that always interested me…. People going about their everyday lives with their own problems and secrets. I fiddled with the half empty coffee cup on the table in front of me, it was only after Bella went off the reservation that I started hanging out here.

I was just debating on getting a refill, when my phone started to buzz angrily from its position on the table .Without bothering to glance at the display I grabbed the phone and connected the call.

(_Jasper_/Alice)

"Hello?"

"_Hey Babe_"

"Jazzy!"

"_Missing me I take it?_"

"Always!"

"_How's it going?"_

I let out a small sigh, "Okay, I guess…"

"_Sweetheart, she's not even there yet, there's no need to worry - just take things as they come. If you give her a chance I'm sure that's all you guys need._"

"I know Jazz, it's just hard to trust her after everything that's happened. We used to be so close."

"_I know darlin, but you'll never know if you don't give it I shot_."

"I wish I had your confidence Jazz."

"_You already do babe_."

I smiled and glanced over at the clock on the far wall.. 1.26pm, she'd be here any minute.

"I should go Jazz, she's going to be here any minute and I think I need to take a few deep breaths before she does" I joked softly.

"_Call me after_?"

"Of course I will!" I replied

"_Love you_"

I smiled and replied "I Love you too Jazz."

I listened for the click of him ending the call before placing the phone back onto the table and again I glanced over at the clock, another minute had passed and I felt the anxiety begin to build in the pit of my stomach. Three minutes to go.

X X X

BPOV

I had spent the last few weeks hiding from the world and I had forgotten how good it felt to feel the sun shining down on my face, to see everybody going about and doing their thing. I had missed being around people, not that I'd ever say that out loud...Fuck, if I did that more of them might actually try to talk to me - which was never a good thing!

Speaking of people who wanted to talk to me, I had to admit that I was scared about seeing Alice again. I knew that she was going to ask what the fuck had been up with me lately…And if I was honest, I'm not sure she'd understand…If I lied, she'd never give me another chance. I'd missed her so much over the past few weeks and I knew that seeing her today was going to be hard - for both of us, we just had to get through it and then see what happens next.

I was just around the corner from the coffee place that Alice had suggested when I heard someone calling my name. I paused and listened again, then realising who it was that was shouting I swore and started walking again - but it was too late.

I felt my arm being grasped from behind, causing me to stop and turn around to face the person that was behind me.

"Isabella Swan" puffed the somewhat purple faced Helen Davies, "Didn't you hear me calling you?"

'Unfortunately, but not nearly in time' I thought before replying "Sorry, I was a million miles away."

"Hmm, that doesn't really surprise me given your recent absence from church - contemplating your eternal damnation are you?" she snipped

I rolled my eyes before replying "Is there something you wanted? It's just that as much as I'd love to stand here all day and chat, but I actually have a social life."

She glared at me "Well actually yes, there is something and given your recent aversion to religious practices it probably wont bother you much but all church services are cancelled until the replacement priest arrives, so feel free to pass the message along to your mother"

I felt my heart lurch inside my chest, new priest? Was Carlisle leaving?

"Why would a replacement priest be needed, what about Carlisle?" I said slowly

"You mean you haven't heard!" she asked perking up considerably.

"Heard what?" I ground out while my heart thudded in my chest.

"Well its all very sad really" she said sighing dramatically "I'm afraid that's what happens with you young people today, always in such a hurry to be everywhere."

I resisted the urge to kill her on the spot, but only just - instead settling for a hand gesture for her to get on with it and tell me.

"He was in a car accident this morning, apparently he was in too much of a rush and almost ran a pedestrian crossing when a child with a bike went out in front of him and he put his breaks on at a rather bad moment. Anyway to cut a long story short, he's in hospital and according to my niece who's a nurse there - he's not doing well" she said.

If I wasn't standing in the middle of a street, I'd say it felt as if all the air had gone out of the room. It felt like my heart was in my head and not my chest, I struggled to remember how to breath. I shook my head and forced myself to concentrate, I had a hospital to get to.

I turned around and made my way back down the street while ignoring the outraged calls of the woman behind me.

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	47. Chapter 47: Curtain Call

Disclaimer; I don't own twilight

A/N This chapter is dedicated to Will - you were around when this story first started, I'm just sorry that you had to leave half way through. And to my loyal readers – I'm so sorry I kept you waiting so long for this…

Chapter 47: Curtain Call

BPOV

I'm not sure what it was about hospitals that I hated….Was it the way they smelled? The strange bitter taste that seemed to infuse the air and linger at the back of your throat? Or maybe it was the faceless décor…. Alice always did say that it's the way something is presented that makes you want to buy into it…. Either way I was really beginning to flip my shit and I'd only just walked in the fucking door!

I glanced around and tried to figure out which way to go looking for the A&E reception, when I spotted a sign on the far wall and decided to follow it. In the end it took three wrong turns, two sets of directions and a whole lot of guess work before I managed to find the right place and I wish I hadn't fucking bothered!

It started off a simple enough question, "Excuse me?" I said as I approached the reception desk of the long searched for Emergency department. "I'm looking for someone who was brought in to the A&E early on this morning - he's a friend of mine, his name is Carlisle Cullen."

Now before any conclusions are jumped to, let me just say that there were four people sitting behind that fucking desk, all chatting away and laughing like they were in some fucking holiday camp or something… there was what looked like the receptionist person and three youngish looking guys who were probably doctors…. And not one of them bothered to even glance my way. BIG fucking mistake!

I felt the rage that was brewing in my belly slowly begin to work its way up... Breathe Bella, breathe... I told myself, it's not their fault that they're so fucking stupid that they lack basic people skills. I cleared my throat "Excuse me" I tried again.

This time they had the decency to pause in their conversation and actually glance at me before continuing their conversation. But that was it - that was my bullshit limit for this fucking year up! I turned my gaze to the receptionist who was not staring intently at her computer screen and said "Excuse me, I know this is a bit of a push, but do you think that you can actually attempt to do your job so I can get where I want to go?"

Silence... And more than one incredulous look. Finally I had receptionist woman's full attention. "You're looking for who?" she asked.

"Carlisle Cullen" I said slowly, "Would you like me to spell it for you?"

She glared and pursed her lips as the idiots behind her continued to gape.

"That won't be necessary" she snipped, "I understand his wife is with him currently, beyond that I'm afraid it really is nothing to do with you." And with that she resumed her screen staring and the idiots went back to their conversation, leaving me feeling like someone had just kicked me in the chest.

I never really understood how emotional pain can impact physical pain and to be honest I can't think of an analogy that sums up how I was feeling. Then weirdly the next thing I knew I was on the floor and someone was calling my name.

I felt my head being lifted and propped onto something soft and warm while a hand began softly patting the side of my face.

"Bella honey, open your eyes" the voice repeated.

I groaned, I was never good at dealing with feeling crappy before I got knocked up, but it seems to be even worse now.

I blinked once, twice and squinted up into the brightness.

Looking down at me was a woman, who must have been in her mid 50's with dark grey hair, big brown eyes, plenty of laugh lines and what looked like dimples in her cheeks...

And I realized with a start that I recognized her, she was a friend of Renee's ... from art class, I think.

"Ah, there you are dear, I was beginning to get in a bit of a tizz when you didn't answer. I'm Silvia, I don't know if you remember me but we've met a few times, I'm in your moms aromatherapy class.

Huh, aromatherapy? I could have sworn that it was art that she was doing...Or maybe that was last year?

I gave my face a rub with my hand to wake me up a bit, I glanced around and realized that I was still in front of the reception desk but everyone else had disappeared.

"You fainted dear" she said gently

Well duh... "Yeh, sorry about that" I mumbled while trying to work out the best way to get up without looking like an idiot.

"How are you feeling dear, dizzy still or?" She questioned.

"I'm fine" I told her – which wasn't entirely true but I wanted to be up and away, I know nurses aren't psychic – but some of them know their shit and I didn't want to take any chances.

I sat up and felt her place a hand under my arm and together we managed to get up from our place on the floor.

I glanced around and found it suspiciously quiet, I looked over at Silvia who shrugged "I told them to find something useful to do" she said.

I smiled gratefully at her

"So my dear" she said smiling back at me "not that I'm not pleased to see you, what brings you down here today?... I don't think it's for your health because your mother would have mentioned if something was amiss."

See what I mean about certain nurses, far too fucking perceptive.

"Well, there's this guy I know through church – the new priest guy, Carlisle Cullen? I heard he was in an accident and I was in the area, so I thought I'd come check on him." … Okay answer and not too suspicious right?

"Ah, yes" she said frowning slightly, "I was on call when they brought him in earlier, he's not looking too good – his poor wife is with him now.'

I felt an ache in my chest at the word wife but I shrugged that off for the moment to concentrate on more important things.

"What do you mean he's not looking good?" I asked

She sighed "Well honey, he sustained a great deal of head trauma in the accident and it looks like he's suffered some memory loss. It's too early to tell if it's permanent or not but he was quite agitated when he was brought in. He wanted to know where his wife and daughter were – he seemed to think that they were in the car with him."

A child?... I'm sorry what the fuck?

"Carlisle doesn't have a kid" I blurted while silently adding yet…

She nodded before adding "Not anymore, no."

I shook my head and was about to ask her more before she continued "He thinks it's seven years ago Bella, I don't think he'll have a clue who you are. I'm sorry but I think the best thing you can do is go home."

He doesn't remember me?

"But he has too" I whispered while trying to fight off the huge up surge of emotion that threatened to overwhelm me.

"I'm sorry Bella, but there's a good chance that the man you knew is gone. I shouldn't be telling you this but he's a friend of yours and I trust you not to say anything. Now I have to be getting on, patients don't tend to themselves. Can you get home okay?" She asked.

I nodded dumbly and she smiled, patted my arm gently and hurried off.

"I can't remember how long I stood there for but I think it must have been at least another 30 minutes before I found my way back to the car. And if I'm honest with you all now? The rest of the day didn't go to well either."

"When I got back home Renee and Charlie had gotten back from their vacation early and I was in such a state by then that I virtually screamed at them I was pregnant – just not who by than god…. Needless to say that they weren't thrilled… In fact they were the most furious I've ever seen them, which is how I ended up here in LA. I was shipped off to stay with my grandmother until we all worked out what to do next. That was almost two and a half years ago. Now I'm a mom to a twenty-one month old little boy called Harris, I still live with my grandmother, I work part time at our local bookstore and I joined this group to meet other single parents like me. And that's my story" I said.

I looked at the group that was seated around me, a couple of them had looks of disapproval on their faces – but most of them seemed to be okay with it. It was amazing that I'd finally got say what I'd been thinking and feeling for the past couple of years. I'd censored out some of the steamier details of course, but my mind filled in the things I left out.

I smiled at a few of the other girls as we gathered up our things as the meeting began to wind up.

"Hey Bella" Clara called. Clara was a single mom to three kids all under six and their deadbeat dad and had been in and out of jail more times than I could count.

"Hey yourself Clara" I replied smiling.

"I'm so glad you shared your story with us today, I know you've been thinking about doing it for a while. Just remember that we're all here and the future is there" she said.

I rolled my eyes "Cut out your new age'y bullshit and go see those kids of yours" I told her.

She laughed and replied "Only if you agree to give that beautiful boy of yours a kiss for me."

"Done" I said as she winked and headed for the door.

I smiled to myself as I grabbed my bag and headed out to the car. There were times when I missed my old uncomplicated life, I missed Alice – but I understood why she hadn't been in touch. It's difficult to consider someone a friend who keeps so secrets. I still haven't heard anything from Carlisle…. On the occasional chats I still have with Renee, she mentioned that he's still not doing well and that hurts – but I know I can't dwell on it because I have a little boy that needs me. My life now is hard but oh so rewarding. It took some time but I finally grew up and learned what real life is really like and I wouldn't change it for the world…. And who knows, maybe one day our paths will cross again?

A/N Hey Folks, it might not have been what you expected, but nothing ever is right?... And you never know – the end might not be the end just yet….

Lots of love and maybe lots of reviews too - it may help inspire me! :)


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